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Original poster

To ask you for your funny parenting fail stories?

86 replies

PrettyPictures92 · 15/09/2014 20:09

It's Monday night, wet and rainy and cold with no hope for the sun coming back this week. The tension everywhere (not just in scotland) about the referendum and general life and woes and worries seem to be mounting up more than ever and I thought we could all use a laugh for a bit.

So anyone got any funny parenting fails? (if fails is the right word?)

A couple weeks ago my ds was refusing to get out the bath so i pulled the plug and went "quick now, don't want the plug monster coming up!" In a jokey way (to clarify - ds loves monsters with a passion! Wasn't trying to scare him!!) At the exact same moment the water made a massive gurgling sound. My son started to shake, his eyes went wide and he started screaming as he attempted to climb out the bath rather quickly and almost fell head first over the side.

I grabbed him and wrapped him in a towel, hugged him close as he attempted to leg it out the bathroom butt naked and told him I was only joking, there was no such thing as the plug monster and mummy was being silly and didn't mean to scare him.

He calmed down relatively quickly and asked me what the plug monster was doing now. Repeated that there was no such thing as the plug monster and not to worry. Of course, the next time I tried to bath him he became hysterical and in an effort to show him there was no monster I got "magic plug monster vanishing water" and let him pour it down the plug (water in a bubble bath bottle). All fine and dandy.

Except today I went to run his bath to find him sitting in it (empty) having just finished squeezing a whole bottle of shampoo down the drain. He looks at me innocently and goes "Don't worry mummy, I scared the monster away!" and I nearly pissed myself laughing and didn't bother giving him into trouble as it was my own stupid fault

OP posts:
LadyLuck10 · 15/09/2014 20:13

Aww he sounds so cute and clever for remembering. How can you not help laughing at that Grin

Original poster
PrettyPictures92 · 15/09/2014 20:15

The look of sheer terror on his face when I joked about the plug monster was enough for him to get away with it lol, felt so guilty! It wasn't funny at the time but now his fright has gone I can laugh about it Grin

OP posts:
theeternalstudent · 15/09/2014 20:19

I've pushed DD off the swing, bursting her lip and grazing her knee. Not very funny but parenting fail none the less!

DizzyKipper · 15/09/2014 20:21

Aww bless him Grin Very sorry but I have no funny parenting fail tales of my own (just fails...) but I'm looking forward to reading more anecdotes.

Fairylea · 15/09/2014 20:21

Aw that's a lovely story :) :)

I think possibly the funniest thing ds (2.3) has done to date is when he took a pair of my (clean) knickers out on a short walk with us. He was only tiny, 9 months ish, and had grabbed them off the radiator on the way out as I pushed him out in the pram.. I had no idea why so many people were smiling at us until we got home again a short while later!

feathermucker · 15/09/2014 20:21

About 5 ish years ago, my son was 3. I had dropped off for a quick doze and woke up to find him naked, shining and covered from head to toe in VapoRub BlushBlushBlush

mommy2ash · 15/09/2014 20:23

when I was small my mum was trying to get me to sleep and she told me hurry up and get to sleep or the man will come out of the wall and get you.

strangely it didn't really work very well lol

to this day I toss and turn at night trying to get to sleep while trying to figure out if it would be better to face the wall and see the man coming or turn away and just be grabbed. Obviously I know there is no man but it's etched on my subconscious lol

jezzapaxmanslovechild · 15/09/2014 20:24

Mine was one of those things you forget to ban because it never occurred to me that it might arise? Hmm The bewildered boys one day were abnormally quiet upstairs, which is normally the starting pistol for the under 5 foot 3 mummy hurdles in reaching them before hair gets cut / roof falls in / the feds are called etc. They had discovered ariel liquitabs and were happily occupied dropping them onto the garden path below - apart from the waste, it was raining, and the garden path was foaming in a lively fashion. Worse still, this continued every - single - time - it - rained - for weeks. Boy - those Fuckers can foam. I had a completely rabid garden path for weeks and I'm not entirely sure, but I believe it became a bit of a tourist attraction in the under five returning from nursery cohort...

starsandunicorns · 15/09/2014 20:25

My mum used to mention this about myself and my sister
Its was summertime my sister is 5 I'm 3 so early 70's

mum runs the bath and we getting undressed the phone she turns the tap off and goes so she says to my sister to watch me

I then appartly bolt from the bathroom and out the front door with my sister following both stark naked running up the street with then mum running after I got to the end of street ( a long one) and she then brazzed it out head held high marching two naked children back home with the rest of street net curtains twitching Grin

secretreveleater · 15/09/2014 20:29

At the weekend I took my DD out into town in her new forward facing stroller. She was getting lots of looks obviously, I thought because she's so darn cute.
When I had a proper look at her I saw she had done a massive poo-plosion straight out of her nappy and skirt all over her legs and the pushchair and was happily rubbing her hands in it. Hmm really cute Blush

Original poster
PrettyPictures92 · 15/09/2014 20:31

Starsandunicorns Grin Grin Grin my ds done something similar to that this summer, again when I was running the bath, my dd had opened the front door and he went streaking around the garden while she sat laughing at him and calling "I can see your b u - um! "

These are great folks Grin

OP posts:
starsandunicorns · 15/09/2014 20:36
Grin
Humansatnav · 15/09/2014 20:48

My ds, then 15 and dd then 11 , wet rainy holiday, soooooo bored that they start playing hide and seek.
For a laugh I hide in a wardrobe, for about 20 mins, ds has now got fed up of being nice to his little sister and goes to get his wellies out of the wardrobe.
He opens the door, I jump out growling.....
.
.

.
.
.
He faints on the spot BlushConfusedGrin

RedPony · 15/09/2014 20:59

Hahaha Humansatnav that is brilliant Grin

m0therofdragons · 15/09/2014 21:00

Db and I were sad we'd not had any trick or treaters. Dm goes outside wearing a sheet and a monster mask belonging to db. She knocks on the door and df encourages db and I to open it. Db and I scream so much dm removes her costume but we still refused to go near her or cuddle her all night, believing she is a monster. Df thought it was hilarious and for the first time he did our bedtime cuddles as dm wasn't allowed in our bedrooms without us screaming. I was 5 and still remember being completely terrified!

welshpixie · 15/09/2014 21:05

I have just realised it is a miracle my DD has made it to 18. We were at a party where water bombs were being thrown by both adults and children,mine of course made a direct hit with DD's eye (aged 9).On holiday in Italy "look DD this is an olive picked from that tree," squeezed it slightly and the juice went straight in her eye (aged 8).The first one and probably the most terrifying one was in her bouncy chair, I left it on the table for 1 minute while I went out of the room, only to hear a thud followed by silence, dear God I've killed her! (The chair has fallen off the table and ended upside down on a tiled floor )No I turn the chair over to find DD grinning as if to say do it again (aged5months).

Original poster
PrettyPictures92 · 15/09/2014 21:09

Rofl Humansatnav and motherofdragons Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
PrettyPictures92 · 15/09/2014 21:13

welshpixie Grin my dd was roughly 9mo and we'd just moved house, got back from shopping after having bought a whole heap of stuff and dumped half the bags in the hall while I raced to the loo having let dd out her buggy. Come out of the toilet to find she'd been in at the shopping and had taken the carving knife out of its protective slip and was brandishing it about with a massive grin on her face (by the handle thankfully!) My heart stopped as I raced towards her so sure she was about to slice her face or something Confused

OP posts:
HHH3 · 15/09/2014 21:13

Yesterday...

21 month old DS2 and I were at the park. He was getting closer and closer to some stinging nettles so I was watching really closely. He moved his hand, I thought he was going to touch them (he likes touching plants) so I quickly went to grab his hand and move it away...only I knocked it straight into the nettlesSad Looking back I don't think he was even going to touch themBlush

Lala83 · 15/09/2014 21:15

Trying to encourage independence and because I'm lazy I asked my two year old to go get me a piece of tissue for my nose. He comes back proudly with tissue, which upon closer inspection I find is a used tampon wrapped up in tissue. He went in the bathroom bin clearly, not to the toilet roll Blush

A few months later, I ask him to throw something in the bin. Where do I find this? The laundry basket! Definitely I'm failing!

ILovePud · 15/09/2014 21:18

Humansatnav, I salute your dedication to pranking!

Altinkum · 15/09/2014 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CombineBananaFister · 15/09/2014 21:23

Helping Ds (3) to write his name at nursey and register and in a mad rush to get to work. He finished and i took it to put it in the register box while he put his coat/bag away. The teacher says loudly 'you need to put dates on the name writing or we can't assess how they're doing', so I scribble a date on it and am muttering (wrongly) about not being a bloody mind reader which Ds heard with his freaky bat like hearing.

The next day we repeat the process and as i put it in the box, Ds pipes up 'there's a date on this time ms X but my mummys not a mindreader you know' Blush Total shame as she's a fab teacher and i'd been knobbled well and truly.
Only wish he was so good at hearing when i ask him to do something Grin

Audweb81 · 15/09/2014 21:25

Feathermucker I did similar recently, we often use Vaseline on my ds and I dozed off to find her head completely covered with the whole tub of Vaseline I had left out. Her normally curly hair plastered to her head and she was incredibly shiny. How could I say anything she just did what we often do haha. So I took pictures instead lol

MrsCurrent · 15/09/2014 21:39

I was that mother whose baby's first roll over was off the bed. Onto the radiator TRV.