Stupid autocorrect

[Stealthpolarbear]

Why change 'onto' into 'into'
Is onto such a rare word?
Have I got it wrong -should it be two words?

You can Balloon but the flipside is that after time, it learns to recognise that when I type "doynd" with my fat fingers I really mean "found" etc, and most of the time you do get the chance to accept or reject the suggested correction before it changes it. So (ha!) it is more of a help than a hindrance.

Plus, you know, the lolz.

I was looking after my mum's chickens last week while she was on holiday. Sent her a message to inform her that I'd fed and watered the crooks and they were tucked up in bed. I think she was slightly concerned until she realised I meant chooks!

My phone corrected blowdry to blowjob

Mine autocorrected Babycham into Baby Ham. All sorts of not ok.

And who ever said 'ducking hell' or 'ducking he'll'? No one. That's who.

Kindle fire is the worst for auto correct, it somehow manages to randomly come up with BBC and 'poo' on a frequent basis for totally different words

Mine changes my pal Mo's name to 'Month' even without predictive text on. Can't delete the spare letters, can't put a full stop or space after 'Mo' without 'month' ruddy appearing again.

Even more annoying, it does the same if I'm trying to text somebody anything along the lines of "I'll be there in a mo." Makes me sound like I really don't care in an emergency, when I breezily announce I can be bothered to show up 'in a month'... :) x

My auto correct honestly just turned "Socrates" to "Société" (including punctuation) - cos that's really what an English person is more likely to be trying to say!

My last phone consistently changed "writing" to "whoring".

I once texted DP to tell him that DD (aged 7) would be getting a head teacher's award for excellent and imaginative whoring.

I don't think that Ofsted would approve.

While pregnant and washing all the baby clothes ready for the new arrival, I text my friend to say "aren't baby socks the cutest things ever? They're so tiny!"

But no, my phone decided that baby cocks would be more appropriate! Stupid bloody thing

DH texted to tell me he had voucher for 20% off seven hams and did I want anything? Turns out he had Debenhams voucher.

On my old phone I used to accidentally ask my friends 'Fancy a riot?' (Pint)
And DH is Simon and every time it tries to add Cowell after it. It's annoying. I don't think I've ever typed Simon Cowell....!

Aw thanks for this guys! I love the website DYAC but I've read most of them. This has been great. I have been sitting here trying to swallow the glass of wine I brought to the computer. My typos always give me the giggles - they are fab!

Does it really change if to of and so on? I thought it was my fat fingers, it drives me bloody bonkers!

That said, it's just corrected an awful lot of my dreadful typing.

Urban legend. I hope it's true...

Guy texts his mate "fancy getting food in The Crown?"

Autocorrected to "fancy getting done in the brown?"

Ha!

An old phone of mine decided I was a Bond villain and added 'ski' to the end of almost every word.
"I will meetski youski on the trainski"

It also decided that Wonderfuk was a far more useful word than wonderful.

I used to be terrible for not spellchecking my texts, but do it as second nature now after many, many mistakes! Two memorable ones I can think of....I was having a girly night in and I text my friend asking her to bring "a big bottle of come" (I meant coke!) Her reply? "Urgh"
And my old phone was much worse....my DP was writing a madrigal for a Shakespeare play he was directing, and my phone ended up typing "Hello my love....how's your masturbation going?" He also sent me a slightly bemused reply

My phone seems to rejoice in letting everyone know that "I'm heterosexual" instead of "I'm here"!

Mine has a particular problem with have and gave. It drives me mad.

Liking the funnier ones though

Rissa - OMG I thought mine was weird because as soon as I type 'he' (which I do a lot - he/her/here/help etc) it inserts 'heterosexual'. Glad someone elses does that too .

It also inserts 'rhetorical' every time I type 'the'. Why?

Fucking into ducking. When have I ever used the word ducking? Fucking on the other hand is in about every second text. Sometimes I dont notice it and send a brilliant angry text that's ruined by having the word 'ducking' in the middle of it.

Norbert not just me then! That particular one has resulted in many a "Thanks for that hun...are you here yet?" haha!

My autocorrect corrects 'himself' to 'ginslef'
'correct' to 'corset'
'Harry' to 'H Rory' or 'H Try'
:s

Tethersend - my autocorrect puts in exclamation marks where I type commas - why does it to this? Why??. And is there anything I can do to stop it that doesn't involve taking out a hit on the Apple programmers?

I once sent a text message to a friend, asking her what her postcode was "for Satnav purposes". It was auto-corrected to "for Satanic purposes". Oh yes, I'm coming round, with a handy goat to sacrifice.

My DM is well known in our family for not checking texts before she sends them so my dsis and I are used to receiving peculiar messages from her. A couple of memorable ones - DM (which autocorrect just tried to change to Adam) once texted that she had just "got on the cup to come good" and also that she and Dad were going to visit "Bumpy Come". Poor Aunty Anne was secretly known as Bumpy Come for ages after that text!