Stupid autocorrect

[Stealthpolarbear]

Why change 'onto' into 'into'
Is onto such a rare word?
Have I got it wrong -should it be two words?

DS sent an email to my mother today and luckily noticed that instead of Dear Granny it had been changed to 'DamnTranny'.

I expect Granny would have found that quite funny though.

I sent DD1 a text earlier, saying "sorry Dad forgot, he'll be with you in 5-10 mini ties"

Yes I'm sure I did misspell minutes, I often do, but honestly

So I confused DH by texting: please get rid of beans on way home. Then confused further, when I realised 10 mins later that I would be going past Lidl: cancel beans, going to Ludlow now

I laughed so hard at this I had a coughing fit, then coughed so hard I threw up.

MuseumOfHam 's phone is a bastard.

No Stealth - the letter 5 letters from the end of the alphabet. It's also one letter shorter than "ugly", so no idea why it autocorrects to "ugly" as I'm clearly absolutely gorgeous!

Stealthpolarbear I once intended to finish an email to several people with Regards! - exclamation mark included - and hit T instead of G.

Embarrassing.

I set up an auto-correct so that it can't happen again.

Whenever I type how's things on my phone, it changes to how's thongs? Is thongs a more popular word or something?!!!

My phone has an unhealthy obsession with Lady Gaga. Everytime I put haha it changed to Haha. My friends just accept it now and actually use gaga when something's especially funny!

Aaah auto correct. My previous phone was filthy. Choc corrected to cock, once I'd taught it fucking everything from ducking to flaming got changed, and the blazing glory was texting a colleague to ask if work was open on Saturday morning, as I'd "left my purse at work and the weekend is no fun without penises"....

I read about a man who had been working late, as he was going out of his office, texted his DW 'I'm leaving for home now', autocorrected to 'I'm leaving for good now'.

My old phone used to change my name to bumjazzle. That was interesting.

Ok I have to ask, what penises do yo get from work
Mine does the home/good thing
Dh once asked me if I wanted "shaking" up. Mildly threatening I thought, he'd actually meant "picking" :o

I do not have auto correct. I do have totally inept fingers and am due a visit to the optician, so can manage some hilarious typos all on my own. could not cope itf the computer ganged up on me as well though.

My work email has an AWFUL habit of changing as to ass, and we to wee. I mean honestly, which of these is more likely, in a work situation, FFS?!

Ooh Patron had me chuckling

oh come on, surely loads of people work in a sanctuary for geriatric donkeys!

my mum wrote a text to ds last week.

She wanted to say
We are in Orleans, (Joan of Arc)

the phone changed it to

We are in Orleans (loan my bra)

Was brilliant.

my phone insists that Mum is nun.

How many people type nun on a regular basis??

Thread earlier today where 'crush a viagra and put it in his dinner' was autocorrected to 'crush a vagrant'

It changed haha to hag on my facebook so it looked like I called my mate a hag.

It also changes andy to Abdul

The other day mine changed 'maybe' to 'Mugabe'. God knows what it thinks my political views are?!

Mine types my name, Anna, as "Bomb"

My husband stopped off at Burchell Edwards (the estate agent's) on the way home, and managed to inform me via text that he was going to bum jels.

At the risk of ruining the fun, can you not turn off autocorrect on the devices you lot use?

I can't imagine putting up with some bloody machine changing what I type for more than a minute.

Mine changed "she's sulking on me now" into "sucking" . Was very inappropriate.

I don't get why apostrophes are such a novelty to the system. Every single time I put apostrophe s on the end of a word it decides I can't possibly mean that and changes it to something else.