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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be really fed up at thoughtless disabilism? Long rant, sorry

152 replies

Sixweekstowait · 14/09/2014 17:09

Generally I just get on with having a disability- sometimes I feel sad at the things I can't do but generally I focus on what I can and I do amazingly interesting work where my disability isn't an issue and my intellect is what defines me Blush. But this last week I've got really fed up with careless, thoughtless disabilism. Firstly, the selfish s*s at the station who think that the disabled spaces are there to make life easier for commuters being dropped off or picked up or for people calling in to renew their season tickets. Well on Monday morning at the height of the morning rush hour I'd had enough and one hapless commuter get the full force of my wrath. Other commuters stood around open mouthed of course and looking faintly embarrassed. Then an organisation I've just started work for wanted proof of my disability so I could claim for a taxi. First time I've ever been asked - wtf did they think I was doing? Putting on a silly walk so I didn't have to take the tube? And then the final straw today - Air bloody New Zealand ( of whom I expected better) wouldn't let me select a seat today when I booked online - because I requested special assistance - ie a wheelchair to the aircraft - I don't need it on board. They'll graciously allocate seats when we check in? This is Business Premier we're talking about ffs - I'm not going to be left with the last row by the lavatories. So yet something else to deal with - you can imagine the tone of the email I've just sent. FWIW - when I choose seats with BA online, they just shade out the ones by the emergency exits ( which I understand) and then treat me like a grown- up and let me choose my own seat. Feeling sad now - it's hard work being cross and fighting battles and sometimes I just want a big hug and for organisations / people to just think a bit and for me not to have to be a stroppy sod

OP posts:
SchroSawMargeryDaw · 14/09/2014 20:53

:(

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 14/09/2014 20:53

Actually, on second thoughts, he might park in P&C spaces and get abuse from the Parents Hmm

weebarra · 14/09/2014 20:54

Schro, that is so crap. It's EDS you have yes? I work in colleges in Edinburgh not Glasgow but the mergers are awful . No excuse though. Technically I'm disabled as I have the cancer, but I've never tried to get a blue badge or anything, I don't need it. I do completely understand invisible disability - DS1 has NF1 and DS2 has a congenital heart defect. I hate having to "explain" them.

HemlockStarglimmer · 14/09/2014 21:03

I had a argument with one of my bosses years ago. He was working out where to site a new reception desk. I pointed out that the space to get around it wasn't big enough for a wheelchair to get round without damaging the desk or the wall. (Disabled access was through the back door and past reception).

He said that whoever was pushing the chair could lift if round the corner.

I said that wouldn't work as a lot of wheelchair users are independent and didn't have a 'pusher', and that my boyfriend's chair didn't even have handles.

Stupid dickhead wouldn't listen :(

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 14/09/2014 21:03

Yes EDS (and POTS, another reason why stairs are not a good idea!).

I'm really sorry to hear you have cancer, I didn't know that. :( And about your little boys, I would hate having to try and explain too, especially when it's kids. :(

x

MaidOfStars · 14/09/2014 21:06

WhereDo I'm still not sure if I've missed something. HerrenaHarridan Clarify?

vvviola · 14/09/2014 21:06

Bourdic not that you should have to, but... Phone Air NZ. They were extraordinarily helpful in organising seating for us over the phone (travelling to NZ with a 4 month old so couldn't book online but really needed to know we were in the right seats).

If you still have no luck and you are on twitter, tweet them - they are very responsive.

Not that you should have to, of course. I'd really expect better of Air NZ. I've yet to have a bad experience with them totally jinxes next flights

CrohnicallyPissedOff · 14/09/2014 21:07

maidofstars another one who doesn't find it funny- the first thought to go through my head was 'what if the innocent bystander was disabled?'. So many on this thread have invisible disabilities- someone with EDS for example could be seriously injured, not just inconvenienced, by being rammed by a chair.

MaidOfStars · 14/09/2014 21:12

Absolutely Chronically 'Innocent bystanders' may have hidden disabilities. And why is it funny to ram people?

matchpoint43 · 14/09/2014 21:12

I know a little girl, all blonde curls and cuteness, she's 3.5 and loves to build up speed and ram innocent bystanders with her chair.
She finds it really funny that they turn round all cross and then apologise profusely even though she was the one who rammed them.

She's a cracker

I'm presuming you're not the parent of this 'cracker' but on the offchance her parents are reading-that behaviour seriously needs to stop. What is cute in the toddler years is not cute in the teenage years. At all.

Good grief. She's a cracker. Hmm

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 14/09/2014 21:17

Yy to twitter, companies dont like bad press in public :)

IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKahleesi · 14/09/2014 21:26

70 the spaces are blue badge spaces and so no one should be in them without a blue badge. I have lots of sympathy for people who struggle but don't have a blue badge (and I was in that position myself for a long time) but that doesn't excuse using them, once that starts it's a slippery slope to everyone with a minor or temporary problem using them

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 14/09/2014 21:38

Pritt sticks are pretty hard to get off glass - it smears all over the place!

My DPs have a blue badge on their van for my dad who can't walk very far - bone cancer, osteoarthritis, etc etc. They are in Canada so I don't know, the rules might be different but it makes me so angry and embarrassed that DM parks in disabled bays and on the equivalent of single yellow lines when DF isn't even with her

I visited for a stretch this summer and kept insisting on driving so I could park properly when it was just the two of us!

The flip side is when they come to visit us, clearly we don't have a blue badge on our car so it can make it tricky to take Dad places. (He is palliative now though so who knows, he might have already made his last visit here) But then it is almost always one of us, I mean me or DH, driving so we can drop him with his walker near the disabled entrance and then go and park.

Original poster
Sixweekstowait · 14/09/2014 22:50

70isa - my rage at the moment has been directed at the bb spaces in front of the station at morning rush hour. Every single person I have seen infringing the spaces has been physically fit and youngish - mostly male.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sixweekstowait · 14/09/2014 22:52

Re Air NZ - have sent email but will try Twitter as well - i always thought they were one of the good guys and I feel really disappointed in them

OP posts:
Tinpin · 14/09/2014 23:46

People using badge holders spaces very very wrong. Wheelchair users fuming at me because I shouldn't be using 'their toilet' also wrong. This has happened twice in the last 6 months. I have an ileostomy. We all need to think.

weebarra · 14/09/2014 23:58

Was going to apply for a blue badge, for my sis, but don't know if she'd be eligible. She has anxiety, depression and BPD. Unfortunately, like me, she's also got the BRCA2 gene so will have a bilateral mastectomy so she doesn't develop cancer too. She's relying on me to take her to appts etc (been there, done that and can be assertive with docs) but realised how awful she finds trying to find a space etc. do you think I could apply?

RonaldMcDonald · 15/09/2014 00:13

In total agreement my maw uses a wheelchair and it makes me aware of the shit we take for granted and talk tripe about
YAnbu

Pixel · 15/09/2014 00:21

The flip side is when they come to visit us, clearly we don't have a blue badge on our car so it can make it tricky to take Dad places.

Hearts Are you sure the badge is just for their van? Only in this country the badge is for the person not the vehicle. You might want to make enquiries and find out if there is any way they can use their 'foreign' blue badge here as visitors. I've no idea if they could but it's surely worth a phone call?

Becca19962014 · 15/09/2014 00:28

weebara in my area she wouldn't qualify for a blue badge you can check your councils website but it is unlikely if she can walk and doesn't have severe mental illness (those you listed are not eligible according to my council).

My council are quite harsh when it comes to blue badges, they will no longer allow GPs to provide supporting letters, only consultant letters are allowed before they will even consider the application and even then you must be assessed to see how far you can walk - they even get you to use a wheelchair and measure how far in that even if you don't have a wheelchair.

OodneedsanOod · 15/09/2014 07:32

Same here Becca

Original poster
Sixweekstowait · 15/09/2014 07:39

Gosh Becca - that is really harsh. Pain and discomfort is supposed to come into it - not just how far you can actually walk but with what difficulty. I saw someone last week walking with two crutches and making very very slow progress, almost dragging his legs along the ground. Yet he was 'sort of' walking.

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 15/09/2014 07:56

Meant to say I dont find the little girl ramming people funny either I find it bratty and if she is doing it 4 she will be doing it at 14 but she wont be cute she sill be entitled and nasty

sashh · 15/09/2014 07:58

Bourdic

Been there, done that.

Reactions vary, but there isn't much they can do about it. I might have chosen to see lord of the rings as it was the longest film and I'd blocked someone in at the cinema. Oops.

I also phone the number or vans parked in BB spaces. Often it is a small company that allows staff to use their vans at the weekend, but the number goes tot he owner who just might be having a hard earned lie in.

KatieKaye · 15/09/2014 08:05

Bourdin - try looking for "bookplate" stickers - they require a special solvent to remove. Allegedly.

I feel your pain.

On crutches, trying to access local library via disabled entrance to avoid 2 sets of stairs. Had to go past huge cherry tree, with a good couple of hundred cherry stones on the path. Making the disable entrance impossible to use. Phoned up and reported this - only to be asked what I expected them to do about it! errr - how about sweeping them up?
Still on crutches, in process of leaving small shop when woman attempts to steamroller me aside in order to enter. Managed to stay upright but failed to impale her foot with tip of crutch. Must try better next time. Informed her the crutches were not decorative items but purely practical.
On a bus which breaks down at 5.30pm. Bus driver states we can use another route (saves company sending out replacement bus, even though depot was 5 mins away). Only problem is this route means a 15 minute walk. Despite me telling them I am disabled, which should have been obvious by the way I was walking. Refused to get off bus till replacement sent.