Daughter has good job but does not earn enough to buy a house in London .... who does ? She has decided to buy a house elsewhere that allows her to travel into London for work . She feels the need to get on the property ladder and stop paying high rents to someone else . She has asked us to " help" with the deposit . No problem with that, always intended to help her and we have inherited some money recently ( not masses I might add ) . The problem is she has a history of getting through money like there is no tomorrow! She received an inheritance of about £40,000 a few years ago which has " disappeared " . Also she received about £25,000 voluntary redundancy a year or so ago . We have no idea if any of this money from the redundancy remains . Originally she said she was going to put it into savings but we don't know if she did . She is very touchy about her finances being discussed and as she is mid thirties I can understand that having your parents quiz you isn't great . We don't by the way ... quiz her I mean .
Am I being unreasonable to feel very uncomfortable about just " handing over " this cash with no strings attached ? My husband just says we should " sign the cheque" and have done with it . He's never been money - mad or grabby .I suppose I am concerned that we will never again receive a nice sum of money as an inheritance and also that we have no way of knowing if we will need money in the future .... for our nursing homes !! Also , I feel that if she really wants a home of her own ( she is single by the way ) then perhaps she should share some of the financial " pain " .... if that makes sense. This is not an inconsiderable amount of money ...£27,000. We have both worked hard all our lives and until very recently never been given a penny by anyone else , nor expected it . I feel really terrible even asking for your opinions because I know I shall give it to her eventually because I want her to be happy and secure. Your thoughts please ?