to want to electrocute the freshers slightly?

[SuperFox]

Just that really, as I am rudely awoken at 330am by yet another hysterically funny game of trapdoor run I can't help but wonder what the response would be if I rigged up the door knocker with a short sharp shock; only a small one for educational purposes you understand, cause and effect is such an important lesson in life...

One of my neighbours has the joy of working at the university, his years of experience have taught him that "undergrads are all idiots, utterly clueless" (to be muttered wearily).

Anyone else love the start of the academic year and the ensuing pranks as much as I do?

Or 'motherfucker'. One of the young women next door seems to be addicted to saying it. Clever thing, go her.

I am so very glad that we don't live in studentland anymore.

I would be phoning the police if somebody chapped my door consistent ly bloody hell I feel for you and your neighbours. Its the supermarket its crawling with them they dont look old enough to be out without their mummies onsunday tescos full of children students dithering over value past a but had loads of sweeties in their troly I passed 2 girls a few times they were looking at the cereal like it had fallen out of the sky bless them.

They are also incapable of closing doors. They have to be slammed.

Roll on Christmas hols....

I really feel for you would drive me daft, although Im near a university where I live isnt vibrant enough we have 1 old man pub

well that didn't take long Linerunner, what's your plan of attack, did you 101 them yet?

If you want my advice hit em hard and fast and if you haven't done already get round there and do your best voice of doom whilst explaining in no uncertain terms that this is a residence and any disturbance outside the hours of 8am to 11pm will be reported, the swearing has to stop because there are children about, also a good place to add that most landlords evict after around 3 complaints. etc etc.

They are still fresh from home, make use of that pavlovian response to a good yelling at!

I say this with great hindsight since if you be nice now and hope they will calm down shortly then you are likely to end up next to party central...good luck - I feel your pain (also put a really big CLOSE DOOR QUIETLY note up on the back of the door). Other excellent habits to employ (should you not already) are 8am saturday and sunday cleaning sessions complete with loud music and hoovering - best done in tandem with other grown up neighbours so you all take turns and try to cover every morning possible. Again done quickly this may shift the location of party central and possibly even the students if you are very lucky because few of them actually sleep in their own beds (so if you have three in the flat that will quickly be at least six or seven as term progresses).

May I please point out that 'electrocute' means kill by electricity. If someone has been electrocuted, he/she is dead.

If you are still alive, you have had an electric shock and I speak from experience.

I live near the land of the Loud Rah Student. Can't sit in a cafe and have a quiet cuppa without being deafened by some very southern accented student declaring how something was 'like, soooo random' and a blow by blow account of their gap year. Just lower your voice, the whole of the cafe is not interested!!

I'd just like to add a footnote to my previous story re: gobby med students on buses.

I am really sorry if this situation has upset anyone who has had family or friends donate their bodies to medical research. It is ironic that perhaps I could have been a little more discreet myself, or at least added some reassurance. This was an exceedingly rare instance, the first I have come across in 12 years at one of the largest medical schools in the UK (hence my reaction - it isn't a common scenario). Any other medical student I've been in contact with has had the greatest respect for those who have donated to further their education. This is exemplified in the annual services of remembrance held at our university, where students, staff, family and friends gather to say thank you for the wonderful gifts given by those who are sadly deceased.

Again, this was a very rare occurrence, and certainly not typical of your average medical student, who are mostly very good, very caring and hyperaware of the requirements their vocational choice imparts.

Most fresher’s are fairly harmless unless you get stuck behind a group of them at the bar or supermarket checkout when at which point you know you will be waiting an age as they all order their drinks individually. Often it is very amusing to eavesdrop on their musings on life and the total authority they seem to have on every subject matter.

There was one time though when a bunch 1st year students thought it would be really cool to bring all their text books and notes into the pub, take over a table and then start talking loudly about structural engineering, soil mechanics and thermodynamics as if anyone in the room really gave a flying f*ck. When one of the pub regulars asked them to pipe down a bit and point out that they were impressing nobody and were in fact being quite irritating one arrogant prick suggested that if he had studied harder at school he could have gone to uni as well and have been able to join the discussion. When said pub patron pointed out that he was in fact the engineering manager of a large blue chip oil and gas operator and had a first class degree from Imperial the lad piped down a bit. The folly of youth.

SuperFox, good advice, thanks - I'm planning to have a word later.

When said pub patron pointed out that he was in fact the engineering manager of a large blue chip oil and gas operator and had a first class degree from Imperial the lad piped down a bit

It is a once in a lifetime opportunity and one well taken! I secretly wish something like this could happen to me. The closest I got was being accused of being a shoplifter in All Saints, and I nearly shouted out my qualifications/salary/etc. Then I realised that none of those things were relevant, and, of course, do not stop a person being a shoplifter

And so I wait

I used to work in undergraduate admissions at one of the London universities. Without fail, every Freshers' week they'd queue up to be given all the info they needed, timetable, book list etc. 90% of them appeared to be unable to read a map. It wasn't very difficult. I'd point out the Maths building, then point out the building where their first lecture was taking place. "And how do I get from here to there, Miss?"

Meant to add, these students needed 3 A grades to get a place on the course. I would have thought they'd be able to read a map!

beccajoh

Not that I knew everything when I went to uni but I was quite astonished as to how few students had any life skills at all when arriving. By that I mean they could not even heat a tin of beans without burning the pan, do a load of laundry without running the colours or know how to operate a bank account (write cheques, fill in a deposits form etc).

I look back with shame on my time (not just Fresher week), as i realise how awful we made life for our neighbours (noise-wise, nothing more). I just hope my kids behave better than I did if/when they get to that point.
Very excited about friends DD heading off to Uni though - I never experienced life in Halls (not enough places available). Social media side of it sounds horrendous though, with everyone knowing your business! Wish i'd see Secret Life of Students on C4 - not on 4OD anymore.

And regarding life skills, I could cook, wash up (under duress and only when there was nothing clean left so absolutely necessary), even run round with the hoover. But the laundrette flummoxed me.

Our old next door was rented out to medical students. They would party all night every night/morning, play cricket in the middle of the road - outside my bastard house at 3am and generally be tossers. One morning my ex had to be up for an early flight, 5am, and they'd blocked our drive - again. They wouldn't answer (comatose) the door so we had to get the police who towed their car away...later that year I had my baby, I was asked by MW whether I would let a student doctor watch. I had to demand his name and address so I knew it wasn't the next door arseholes! Fwiw the student cried all the way through my labour and went on about how beautiful it was and how brave I am. Haha! I had to ask the MW to shut him up when he nipped out.

I've just been to a freshers fair. It was terrifying and fascinating all at once.

One of our Freshers failed to turn up on the right day because he had forgotten he was going to university. I don't have high hopes (I have slightly changed this story to preserve some anonymity for both of us, but not by much.

Haha stupidhead that's ace

The student midwives at the birth of DD attend the same uni as I do. I've seen them on campus. One of them is the housemate of some of my friends

it seems I have spent my entire life misusing the word electrocute, I shall at once retire to the cake shop to consider my flaws and perhaps consult a dictionary...

LRD are you in the SW? If you're at the university I'm thinking of, I was utterly flummoxed when I went to visit a friend there and discovered that all the students shopped at Waitrose!

I look forward to the arrival of freshers every year, it always makes me giggle to see them standing in nervous groups round the entrance to the Asda looking as though they're trying to figure out how a supermarket works I like to think I wasn't that clueless when I first arrived a few years ago even if I did have to read all the instructions pinned up in the halls kitchen to learn how to use a microwave

(LRD here) I'm west-ish? It's Oxford Brookes I was thinking of, anyway. But I know that students at Harper Adams do it too - I used to see them in their wellies (they do lots of farm-type courses there and so the students tend to be quite into their outdoorsy stuff), cheerfully stocking up on posh ready meals.

It is bonkers.

One of our Freshers failed to turn up on the right day because he had forgotten he was going to university.

This is just wonderful.