Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

to feel a bit upset about how much easier life would be with good looks

82 replies

sarahighseas · 14/09/2014 13:12

Im pretty average looking, but can't help but feel life would be so much easier if I was stunning. It seems like even if you are a rough Geordie convicted of assault and saying racist things you can easily get forgiven and make millions flogging shampoo to insecure people. Seems double standards as plenty of ugly men are on TV, but apart from a few comedians no ugly woman.

OP posts:

LoafersOrLouboutins · 14/09/2014 18:16

She also got her job based on her looks! She works for a hedgefund an the usual requirement was a 2:1 from an 'elite' university as a minimum. Let's just say she didn't have the best academic record and at the age of 23 didn't have the necessary experience to back it up. We're friends, I'm not being nasty!

ScarlettDarling · 14/09/2014 18:42

Yep, said Geordie was convicted of something unpleasant...when she was a silly young girl with v little life experience. Totally agree with you that her singing voice is average. Don't know if Id agree that she's the nation's sweetheart, but yes, she is very popular. Undoubtedly this is partly down to being very pretty...which just makes me think good for her! She's used what she's got to make a good life for herself. I think that's to be applauded actually!

mooth · 14/09/2014 19:01

Lots of silly young girls with very little life experience don't give cloakroom attendants black eyes and call them 'a black bitch', then never utter a single word of apology or regret (in public).

Original poster

sarahighseas · 14/09/2014 19:06

Sorry wasn't she 20? I've never punched and kicked someone onto the floor while calling them a fing n word and then just ignore it and don't apologise.

Then she's called a sweetheart and constantly put on magazine covers as an aspirational person, just cause she scrubs up very well.

OP posts:

ouryve · 14/09/2014 19:13

Really?

Brightbutchilly · 14/09/2014 19:24

Ah but 'pretty' and 'attractive' aren't the same thing.

I know several very attractive people who aren't (on reflection) that good looking objectively. They are however very positive, friendly, confident people. Also usually nicely presented (whatever their personal style choices).

Work to make the most of what you've got, put a big smile in your face and walk with confidence.

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 14/09/2014 19:25

Yanbu. However being very beautiful would mean so much male attention both wanted and unwanted. And it would be hard for some people to see past your looks and therefore be taken seriously.
Moderately above average would do me

SevenZarkSeven · 14/09/2014 19:30

Bright, YY agree with that. Charisma is a biggy too.

Which most famous types have, whether people "like" them or not. I don't think you get to be famous if you haven't got "something" IYSWIM.

Original poster

sarahighseas · 14/09/2014 19:32

Seven that's why I'm talking about the Geordie girl,she's pretty vapid and simple. Hollywood stars often have something, but said Geordie is dull and can't imagine she ever has anything interesting to say.

OP posts:

bakingaddict · 14/09/2014 19:34

There are very few truly ugly people in my opinion.....making sure you have a good haircut and colour, wearing make-up and clothes that fit well and flatter your figure and avoiding sloppy, shapeless clothes all help to disguise imperfections. Present a groomed look and confidence and people will respond better to you, now i'll get to work taking my own advice!

SevenZarkSeven · 14/09/2014 19:34

Have you ever met her?

I don't know much about her if I'm honest but that seems very strong about someone you presumably know nothing about other than her public persona and what the press say.

mooth · 14/09/2014 19:38

The violent crime for which she was convicted is a fact, regardless of her public persona and the media representation.

Sicaq · 14/09/2014 19:40

Agree with PP that attractive is very different to pretty, although they often co-occur.

Halle Berry said something once ... Hang on ...

Googles

"Let me tell you something - being thought of as a beautiful woman has spared me nothing in life. No heartache, no trouble. Love has been difficult. Beauty is essentially meaningless and it is always transitory."

SevenZarkSeven · 14/09/2014 19:42

Well sure but OP is using words like "vapid" and "simple".

If OP had said something which related to her conviction then it'd be a different matter.

I just think it's a bit off really.

concernedaboutheboy · 14/09/2014 19:43

My DH always refers to said Gordie as "that racist WAG". Not everyone is worshipping at the altar of her beauty

I think being attractive is a major advantage in life. Law of nature, innit?

mooth · 14/09/2014 19:47

I do take your point Seven. I have mixed feelings in response to your point, firstly, it's hard to imagine anyone of any real intellect and sensitivity committing that particular crime, and secondly, being vapid and simple has rarely been a barrier to success in her chosen arena! However, you are right, we only know what the papers say or what she says on TV, so it's unfair to judge her personality on that alone.

SacreBlue · 14/09/2014 20:01

Surely the gripe would be with society placing the value on a 'look' rather than the person having that 'look'.

SevenZarkSeven · 14/09/2014 20:03

mooth no I take your point too in light of what she's done why defend her at all!

kiki0202 · 14/09/2014 20:04

I'm very good looking not to blow my own horn but there it is I am i've been told so my whole life when people make any comment about me it's always I'm stunning but it's not opened any doors for me I live a normal life it's being a nice person that's brought me good friends and happiness not my face.

mooth · 14/09/2014 20:08

Well said, Sacre, that's it in a nutshell.
My eldest DS is a professional model, has been for a few years, and I am often told that I must be very proud of him. Well, yes I am, proud of his confidence, delighted that he's seen so much of Europe and now knows London inside out, and he's had a fantastic time. But his looks are an accident of birth (he says the same thing!) and I would be just as proud of him if he wasn't physically attractive (alright, stunning)...

Hoppinggreen · 14/09/2014 20:09

It's not all wonderful being beautiful. Luckily? It's not an issue I face myself but my DD is stunning - I realise I am biased but we get people stop us in the street to tell us and when I introduce her to people they often comment on her looks. She is only 10 at the moment so it's not sleazy or anything but a she gets older it might be.
She is also very intelliegent kind, polite and generally lovely( ok I AM biased) but the majority of comments she gets, at least before people get to know her are about her looks.
It's just annoying that the biggest compliments are about something that's a genetic quirk ( DH and I are Ok but not stunning) rather than anything she has actually achieved through effort.
Maybe when she gets older her looks will help her but I worry she won't be taken seriously

morerogermore · 14/09/2014 20:09

YABU - I'm quite pretty/slim and life is still tough.

Brightbutchilly · 14/09/2014 20:15

There are lots of examples of gorgeous movie starts/pop starts/models with unhappy marriages, cheating spouses, failing careers, problems with addictions etc

Good looks, talent, fame and riches don't automatically lead to better lives.

concernedaboutheboy · 14/09/2014 20:17

Part of it is society placing value on beauty but mostly it's innate. How 'beautiful/handsome' is defined is remarkably similar in different cultures - it basically boils down to symmetry and facial geometry.

WitchWay · 14/09/2014 20:20

It depends on circumstances I think.

I'm a GP in my late 40s, not bad looking, pretty hot in my 20s As a junior doctor on the wards my life was made a misery by jealous nurses, all trying to cop off with the male junior doctors & we female docs were "on their patch". The plainer-looking doctors were left in peace. Didn't stop me shagging the male doctors though

Flip

1 2 3 4