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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to "Just put her in a taxi and send her home" DSD, aged 11

149 replies

SilenceOfTheSAHMs · 13/09/2014 19:17

Is DP being unreasonable to not allow his DD, aged 11 to travel home from weekend contact in a taxi? DP's XP wanted him to, but he refused and safer transport was arranged. We currently have no car.

It just didn't feel "right" to put her in a taxi alone. Are we being unreasonable?

OP posts:
maddening · 13/09/2014 20:29

We used to get picked up by taxi from primary school so it should be fine - use a reputable firm, make sure you know the id of the driver. How long a journey is it?

VeraGrant · 13/09/2014 21:13

Ds (7) has autism and has been going to and from school (hour long drive) in a taxi since he was 4.

However I wouldn't let dd (10) in a taxi on her own. No way. Ds has an escort and that makes all the difference.

And despite what someone else said, a female driver does significantly reduce (not eliminate!) the risk of any sexual abuse, pretty hugely. Bit silly to claim otherwise

deakymom · 13/09/2014 21:22

depends my neighbour is a taxi driver so i would say yes if it was him i know a few others personally again yes i would trust them but most drivers in my town rarely let you get your seatbelt on before setting off at a fast pace so in my town no

Viviennemary · 13/09/2014 21:24

It doesn't seem quite right to me to put an 11 year old in a taxi. Can't really see why not but I just wouldn't do it or approve of anyone else doing it.

Aeroflotgirl · 13/09/2014 21:27

I wouldent let a child of 11, on her own in a taxi. Chikdren with SN often travel to schools by taxi, but always have an escort.

scaevola · 13/09/2014 21:27

Is this an 11 year old still at primary and not usually travelling by themself?

Or one at secondary who commutes alone and is starting to free range with friends?

The latter should certainly be fine for a straightforward journey by a properly licenced carrier.

Anotherchapter · 13/09/2014 21:29

YANBU

Floggingmolly · 13/09/2014 21:33

I'm intrigued as to what was the "safer" option; given that neither of you have a car at the moment...

Whatsthatnoise · 13/09/2014 21:37

yanbu My dad is a taxi driver and I got taxis from my grandparents regularly when I was young however a driver did behave inappropriately once when I was about 13, my parents complained and his licence was revoked but it did make me nervous about travelling in taxis for a while.

SauvignonBlanche · 13/09/2014 21:39

My DS has SEN, he got a taxi without an escort.

Hakluyt · 13/09/2014 21:40

We live in the back of beyond. Our children have been using taxis on occasion since they were about 9 or 10. I honestly can't see the problem.

Hakluyt · 13/09/2014 21:41

So long as the child concerned was happy with the arrangement, obviously. That's the key point.

poolomoomon · 13/09/2014 21:42

Does she have a phone to use as entertainment and to call for help if the driver does try anything? How long is the journey?

Also intrigued by what the "safer" option is.

The chances of that particular taxi driver from that licensed taxi firm that comes to collect dsd being a paedophile is pretty much zilch, let's face it. She's also eleven, not a baby.

Aeroflotgirl · 13/09/2014 22:31

Sauvignon is this private or through local authority. How old is your ds. My dd7 has ASD and has a taxi with escort to her ss.

grocklebox · 13/09/2014 22:34

What is unsafe about a taxi?

SauvignonBlanche · 13/09/2014 22:35

My DS is now 17, he got a private taxi from his primary school to his CM from the age of 7.
From 11- 16 he got an LA taxi from High school to home without an escort.

Hakluyt · 13/09/2014 22:36

Grockle- it's "them peedos"

God, it make me cross.

SpaceInvaders · 13/09/2014 22:38

I've got a just turned 11 year old. I wouldn't be happy with him getting a taxi by himself.

BruthasTortoise · 13/09/2014 22:40

I had a bad experience in a (licensed) taxi when I was 16 - the driver said lots of inappropriate things and made me feel incredibly uncomfortable. I would be disinclined from putting a 11 year old girl in a car with a unknown male unless absolutely necessary. If there was no other option then I'd put her in the back seat and tell her to keep her phone in her hand.

hollie84 · 13/09/2014 22:41

I don't think the chance the taxi driver is a paedo is zilch. But the chances of a taxi driver whose name and address is known, in his work vehicle, driving an 11 year old from one parent to another, doing something inappropriate is so small I wouldn't worry about it.

Aeroflotgirl · 13/09/2014 22:42

Oh right, so young in a taxi on his own at 7! Your call but there is always a chance something could happen, locked vehicle, limited escape, I really would not take the risk tbh.

Aeroflotgirl · 13/09/2014 22:48

I personally woukd not be happy if dd did not have an escort. Adults working with children have to be crb checked, but people are happy sending their children in a taxi with a person they don't know who might not be crb checked is madness tbh.

Aeroflotgirl · 13/09/2014 22:50

In our local paper in the past year, there have been a few who have assaulted their passengers.

Aeroflotgirl · 13/09/2014 22:52

These are employers of licensed taxies, not fake drivers who target women waiting for a taxi after a night out.

Anotherchapter · 13/09/2014 23:03

I was assaulted by a taxi driver in my very early teens - so no I wouldn't let a child in one on there own