Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I be annoyed about this letter from DDs teacher?

156 replies

MrsWinnibago · 12/09/2014 22:11

DD is in year 2...she's been having extra help for reading since year 1. we discovered she needed glasses at the start of year one and so had lost most of reception due to not seeing well at all.

So the extra help has been great and she's making progress.

I got a letter tonight, typed something like this

"Dear parent, SmallWinni is going to be having some extra reading practice with a volunteer named Tanya. She will cover x and y and z and the books will be different to the ones she fetches home. We hope that Elizabeth enjoys her extra reading time."

Confused

"Elizabeth" is actually a friend of my DDs so I assume she is also benefiting from the kind volunteer's time. But....isn't it a bit crap to make mistakes like this? For all the teacher knows, I don't want other parents knowing my DD has/needs extra help...and Elizabeth's mum might feel that way too.

As it happens I'm not ashamed of DD needing extra help so if the other child's letter includes my DDs name I don't mind but the letter COULD have had very personal info in it!

Shall I say something and what?

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 12/09/2014 22:27

Nicky it's hardly the same as calling someone the wrong name at work.

It's more like writing a report on a colleagues progress and adding in two names so that speculation about the other person can occur.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 12/09/2014 22:27

She made a mistake in something not very important. You can't extrapolate from that that she's in danger of telling medically sensitive information to all and sundry. If it was important, she might take more care without you sticking your oar in.

May09Bump · 12/09/2014 22:28

I think the teacher has been unsuccessfully multitasking - not great, but errors do occur. I would mention to her that the error has occurred and double check you should have received this letter too.

The fred talk is from the reading scheme read, write, inc - there are some really good videos of it being used on you tube. I have found they are better than when it is explained as a presentation.

Nicknacky · 12/09/2014 22:28

It is, I interview suspects for a living and have occasionally called them the wrong name during interview. It's easily done and mine are recorded and later played in court.

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 12/09/2014 22:29

It's my child noble so I think I'll "stick my oar in" as much as I want!

I never moan, hassle or complain to teachers...but in her shoes, I'd like to be told.

OP posts:
PickledPorcupine · 12/09/2014 22:29

I hope you don't mind me pointing out that I have worked 80+ hours this week, I'm so tired I can't think, haven't had a break all week and I am a primary teacher??

Please be gentle, the first few weeks back are horrendous and the teacher has made a simple mistake. Easily done.

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 12/09/2014 22:30

May that was another thing...I did think I should check the letter WAS meant for me.

Nicky but do you use a full name or anything? Or is it "Mr Smith...I mean Mr Jones...you were blah de blah"

And they don't even know one another! they're not exactly hanging out in the playground together are they!

OP posts:
Notacs · 12/09/2014 22:30

Why do people think it's acceptable because of this, or that?

Mistakes do sometimes happen, but being a teacher isn't a catch-all excuse. The OP isn't saying she's going to go mad or anything!

Teachers don't get paid a fortune but they get paid a professional salary. Enough, I would have thought, to take time and care over this sort of thing (I am a teacher myself.)

It HAPPENS - that doesn't mean 'it's acceptable or unavoidable"

PickledPorcupine · 12/09/2014 22:30

As you can see I'm so tired I can't form a sentence. Apologies for the random question marks! Hmm

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 12/09/2014 22:31

Pickle "please be gentle"? Confused Please don't mix up children's names then!

Obviously it wasn't you making this error....but don't moan about your hours to me! I work hideous hours too. Nothing to do with anything.

OP posts:
ILovePud · 12/09/2014 22:33

Sorry that this has upset you, I can see why you're a bit miffed but I think this is just a mistake, this kind of human error will inevitably happen from time to time. Flag it if you want but I wouldn't make too big a fuss as I think you'll come across unreasonable. I also think that this is sloppy letter writing rather than a breach of confidentiality, it's not as though you were sent Elizabeth's letter in error. It could be that they were using a template and have left Elizabeth's name in in error but as others have suggested they could have just got muddled and typed the wrong name, the fact that you know the other child is also receiving this support doesn't prove anything. It's important to maintain good relationships with those who are educating your daughter and to pick your battles, not sure this is all that important in the grand scheme of things, but perhaps this is part of a wider pattern of problems with the school.

Bakeoffcakes · 12/09/2014 22:34

She shouldn't have mixed up the names but she did. I personally wouldn't have given it more than a moments thought.

What do you hope to achieve by saying anything?

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 12/09/2014 22:35

Well I will have to say something to make sure we were meant to get the letter won't I? They will need to double check all the children who should have got one did get one!

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 12/09/2014 22:35

mrs I have called the suspects by the victims name, usually then first name. Also heard others do it.

It's very easily done after a very long stressful day, thinking on your feet and a lot running through your mind in a short space of time.

Like I said, speak to the school but don't over react. It's a child's first name (I believe) on a letter. Your daughter has given you the rest of the infra action so it's you putting two and two together.

Nydj · 12/09/2014 22:36

That's a pretty harsh response to pickled's polite request!

Nicknacky · 12/09/2014 22:36

But surely the letter was addressed to you and by the sounds of it you were expecting it?

PickledPorcupine · 12/09/2014 22:37

Woah! I was only trying to help you understand why it might have happened. No need to bite my head off! Feel for the teacher on Monday if you're like that to her Sad

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 12/09/2014 22:37

Pud I think we're very lucky to have schools like ours but that doesn't mean I have to tiptoe around the teachers for fear of not being on good terms with them. I should be free to point out things of concern without fear of reprisal.

OP posts:
PickledPorcupine · 12/09/2014 22:37

Thank you nydj. I really wasn't trying to be rude to op, was just trying to help.

itsmeitscathy · 12/09/2014 22:37

OP - you've said your child is getting. Help with reading. Clearly you know you were meant to get the letter.

Is there more to this? Has the teacher upset you in some other way?

noblegiraffe · 12/09/2014 22:38

It was obviously a mistake, not great but not anything particularly important.

What will happen if you tell the teacher? 'Whoops, sorry about that'. Worth the effort? Probably not. But smug mode engaged, eh?

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 12/09/2014 22:38

Nicky no it said "Dear Parent"

Pickle WOAH yourself dear! I don't need "help to understand". I have teachers who are friends...I know what they do. I never bit anything off. And I am always polite and well mannered so you needn't "feel for the teacher" thanks. Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 12/09/2014 22:39

Cathy she has help from another teacher...this is new...how do I know how they share their resources? They may not have time for all the children to be with ALL the available help.

OP posts:
Notacs · 12/09/2014 22:40

I can understand why mrs was snappish with pickle, to be honest. The hours teachers do, the work put in, is commendable, but is equally matched in many other roles.

How many of you have seen the thread in here about the lady who's husband is a nurse doing 14 hour plus days, yet if a nurse made a mistake with confidentiality - arguably more excusable than a teacher who is spending a much shorter day actually at work - everyone would be annoyed and upset.

Care assistants get even worse pay - less than minimum wage - and yet are expected to observe confidentiality policies.

So it is grating when teachers complain.

I say that as an erstwhile teacher.

fromparistoberlin73 · 12/09/2014 22:40

Op I think your reaction is misplaced and inappropriate. But go in all guns blazing but I don't think it will do you any favours

People make mistakes and this in the grand scheme of things is very minor

Swipe left for the next trending thread