not to pick dd from london

[LEMmingaround]

Dd1 is 24 and going up to london to watch. a sports event. It finishes at 7.30 and she is nervous about travelling across London after dark. Ordinarily her dp would pick her up. She will be going up by train and event is apparentlt half hour "walk" from xanning town train station

She hasn't been to london on her own before. I have and i find it ok about dont like using buses alone. Its just because not used to it.

She has asked if dp can fetch her home. This is probably a four hour round trip as she luves in ramsgate kent. Half an hour further past us. That is assuming we dont hit traffic. Also petrol

Is it really mean to tell her to grow a pairand get the train? That is my gut feeling but i feel mean

To be fair to the OP's dd, the place is not an easy walk along high streets and residential streets. It's along the A13! This is basically a motorway.

I was living alone in Central London at 16! My daughter is now 23, but a few years ago she was walking in Manhattan at night on her own! Good grief.

Incidentally we live in East Sussex, as did my parents when I was living alone in London as a 16 yr old.

Sorry - meant a 5 minute walk from Canning Town to ExCeL.

Anyway - it's a very quick taxi ride from Stratford where her train arrives in London to her destination. There is no 'travelling across London' involved.

And tbh, Ramsgate on a Saturday night is a lot scarier than Canning Town :o

Sounds as though she's been spoiled and babied by her partner.

I'd tell her to plan her own route too.

DD goes to ExCel twice a year for Comicon. So not only is she walking the streets at ungodly hours, she's often dressed in an ungodly fashion.
No problems in the 8 years she's been doing it.

She's interested in doing roller derby but isn't tough enough to cope with London or plan her own route? Surely at that age she should be making the most of it and finding some London nightlife then either last train home or book a cheap hotel/hostel and head back in the morning. I was doing that at 18 with my 16 year old brother and it was 2 hour train journey each way so a 24 year old should be able to cope.

YANBU! She is 24!! FFS!

If i am honest london is quite daunting if you aren't used to it. but am surprised she feels unable to do it. I think whoever said up thread about her being babied by her dp is right. Do her good to find her own way.

I think if she were with friends she'd be fine and probably be the organiser. She had better not bottle it.

Daren't google roller derby

Roller derby will definitely toughen her up ! It does look fun

Dd said she would love to try roller derby but she said she was too wussy and would probably cry

Newham Leisure Centre is five minutes down the road from me. She could walk round there on her own at 2am without problem. At 7.30 the place will be heaving with people coming home from work etc. She has nothing at all to worry about.

Roller derby girls are fearless and gutsy; more than capable of travelling independently. She needs to toughen up.

I'm speechless! Of course YANBU. She can walk, train or cab back to her station and it will STILL be early. London is also teeming with people so while some areas aren't that great, it's easy to blend in with the crowd.

Gosh stop having a go at OP! She's gracefully listened to all the attacks on her DD, accepted the advice, and passed it on. I too would be daunted by the thought of walking around a strange place, though happy to be reassured by someone who knows it well.

She is 24 years old. Does she have learning difficulties? I wouldn't normally ask, but I am flabbergasted that you have even asked this question and it is the only explanation I can come up with for why either you or she would remotely consider this. If she doesn't, it sounds like she has had an incredibly sheltered life thus far, and really needs to learn a tiny bit of independence - which she'll only do if you stop doing everything for her as if she were a small child.

What every one else has said. We live in a little village in Buckinghamshire and 12yo DD would think nothing of travelling across London on her own early evening.

Cat -is that sort of comment really necessary?

My DD17 went to a prom this week and made it back across London and home by Midnight, this time she was with 1 friend but she is only 17. Another of her friends has to do this every weekend as she goes to a special college.
What do you think all the 24 year old commuters do?

Travelling to and around London gives me the heebie jeebies, but I'm sure there are things that I can do with ease that others, including all the brave London travellers, would find daunting. Just saying.

Claws back in there Cat . Totally unreasonable comment re. Learning difficulties.

As I said earlier... London can be scary if you're not used to it. I lived in East London for 16 years. My bit was as rough as a dog's arse and it hardly ever bothered me to totter round it at any time of day or night. We moved rurally recently and even now after a relatively short time away I find it a bit much when we go back to see friends.

Great coffee however!

DS2 has a friend who travels by train to Kings Cross, crosses London to go to see Crystal Palace play football. On his own and he's 13. I draw the line at DS2 going with him, as I feel he's far too young. DD has been to London with friends aged 16 and made it back home on a late train. I think OP's DC should be able to to this too.

She does indeed need to grow up. However, it's a shame so many people have to quote Jeremy Kyle. If it's not 'growing a pair' it's 'stepping up to the mark'.

There's no point all these posters saying how they trekked to timbuktoo on their own at the age of 24 and fought off lions single handedly blah blah blah. Everyone has different levels of self confidence and not everyone is confident to travel alone especially in london where public transport can be very confusing. Some right twatty comments aimed at op's daughter here.