Partner works away

[london13]

Hi ..regarding a partner working away ...I'm also finding it difficult to feel secure when I know that he is out in a big mixed crowd in bars etc .I know this is really down to trust , but how do other people cope and what do people think Thanks

The way I see it is that it doesn't matter whether he is away, or socialising or whatever because if someone is going to be unfaithful then they could do that at home...or if they were just walking down the street..they could meet and hook up with someone else wherever! You need to get more confident in yourself and focus on other things.

As you said it's all down to trust. It's not about what other people get up to, it's what your partner does about it.
Has anything happened to make you feel this way.

Thanks so much for your messages Nothing like that has happened to me before .I've been trying to figure out why I feel like this One of my close family had an affair over 10 years ago ....I was really upset when I found out ...I'm wondering if this could be one reason why I feel like this ....or maybe it's just the way I am and Ineed to find a way to sort it .....

How would you feel if he said he was worried what you got up when he is away?
I think you have to just decide do you trust each other or not.

Thanks so much for your messages .I've been trying to figure out why I feel like this
One of my close family had an affair over ten years ago ...I was really upset when I found out .So maybe thats why I feel this way .....or maybe it's just me and I need to find a way to sort it .....

Sorry posted that last message twice as I didn't realise it had posted .....

Are you happy in your day to day life? I have found that if I am not happy in work or whatever then I get insecure.

Ah...I have a stressful job sometimes ....that may contribute too ....

If he's going to be working away regularly, you'll find not that much socialising goes on anyway. Most people will eat dinner together/have a drink at most and then do their own thing (gym/TV in hotel room/etc). It gets very tedious after a while. The novelty of hanging out together wears off after the first couple of trips.

Both DH and I need to work away at various times, so I've experienced it from both sides.

I work away at times and a social life is the last thing on my mind. After a long drive, lots of meetings, catching up on e-mails, I find the nearest chinese take-away. I eat in my room, phone my son and then go to bed.

I had a relationship years ago where my DP worked away. I coped with it by not even thinking about it. What is there to be jealous about - he was working?

People are not more likely to have an affair because they work away. It's too bloody tiring.

Concentrate on thinking about him coming home, having a nice meal together and having quality time instead of thinking about the negatives - jealousy and not trusting someone - sure fire way to ruin what could be an amazing relationship.

Thanks ....that is so helpful...

Working away is pretty shit. I've done 2 weeks a month on average for 10 years. Three 6 months every week stints in there!
You don't always have colleagues there, you don't always like the ones you have, you tend to do long hours anyway because you only have a hotel room to go to.

I have had some lovely nights out - but few and far between.

In 10 years, I've been mildly propositioned once by a stranger and never by a colleague. I'm young and attractive and good company too.

And I've never flirted with anyone when away.

If you are worried then either:

• you have issues
• he has given you reason to have issyes

My husband did not work away. He was the one that cheated repeatedly though. And from before I worked away, too.

Thanks Cabrinha ..your post is really helpful...as are all the posts above ,much appreciated ....