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Original poster

To feel a bit of sadness to see looks gradually fading

356 replies

Maisyblue · 11/09/2014 16:11

Just that really, I wonder if we all take it for granted when we have young fresh faces. I can remember when looking in the mirror first thing in the morning before putting makeup on wasn't an unpleasant sight. Now it's a bit of a scary sight. Also it gets longer to get ready now to look half decent. Isn't it a bit sad to see the face that was once young and glowing slowly start to fade. Sad

OP posts:
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amigababy · 14/09/2014 12:33

The profit figures for Next are shooting up as, partly, they say 60 year olds are dressing like 40 year olds ie. less likely to change to "older fashion " as people did 30 or 40 years ago ( my dm has never ever worn jeans and never would)

Disclaimer, whenever I go to Next I don't find much I like, but I still see what they are getting at.

Soveryupset · 14/09/2014 13:20

I was thinking that the other day. I see myself in the mirror through the way other people look at me. They used to double take whilst now they don't. Bit sad sometimes.

However, it is also empowering in a sense as it makes me less bothered about the way I look. I am still a size 8, not because I do any exercise or dieting (I do neither) but because of genetics. That's lucky as the weight thing would bother me. I also a jeans ant t-shirt person, can't imagine ever not wearing something young.

However, the face hasn't had the same genetic luck and I do have lots of lines. I am also battling with facial hair - sigh. I hardly every wear make up, I hate the stuff. I have thought about botox at times, but can't put any energy into going ahead with it and then I think it would just be a spiral of wanting to continue looking younger rather than accepting the inevitable!!

Know lots of plastified women and I don't find it a particularly appealing look.

Floisme · 14/09/2014 14:48

MarthasVineyard thanks for linking to that Emma Thompson interview, I'm just a few years older than her and I like what she says about not downplaying your age. Yes, it's great that we can look and dress more youthfully than our parents did and I'm always on Style & Beauty, shouting at people who try and tell older women how to dress. But I'm still closer to 70 than I am to 40 and wearing a tube skirt isn't going to change that.

I agree when she says your 50s aren't the same as your 30s or even your 40s. Time is starting to run out and I think it's good to think about what you still want to do and draw up prioriities.

alleykitten · 14/09/2014 14:51

This is an excellent thread.

At 33 - so still young - my face looks better for thinning out a bit and I like most of my lines, they're generally happy ones. My mum has the deepest frown line ever which gives her Angry Resting Face so am quite careful to avoid frowning in bright light or when concentrating to avoid it. Frownies, if I can be arsed to remember, are excellent - weird little hard stickers that you wear at night to de-crease frown lines. I worked like a demon at the end of a grim relationship after DC2 born to lose the weight as a self-esteem thing, and have slim relatives, so still a size 8.

I will be absolutely gutted when it all goes. I'm no supermodel but better looking than average and you'd have to be a fool not to think it opens doors when you're young.

I have also noticed, though, that some friends I've known for a while who have strong features and weren't particularly pretty as young girls are now looking better and better as they grow into their look. I think this is true for my mum's friends too when they entered middle age - some really came into their own and looked fantastic.

Having always winged it without makeup in my twenties, I made a mum friend when I hit 30 who's a makeup artist and she said that it's OK to look like you're wearing makeup and that people who looked good without it when young are scared of it once they need it. This turned out to be great advice. If only psychologically, I love having a face of makeup on now and am so much better at it than I was ten years ago.

ElsieMc · 14/09/2014 14:55

I am in my early fifties and nature does try to compensate for fading looks. For example I am now blind as a bat and when I look in the mirror sans glasses, I have wondrously smooth, unlined skin without the help of any face cream.

My hair is also still brown. Unfortunately trying on a jacket in New Look yesterday under strong lighting revealed this to be completely untrue and I have chunky grey "highlights", wrinkles and bags. My unkind children cruelly tell me I have badger hair when I have noticed nothing at all untoward.

Suzannewithaplan · 14/09/2014 17:09

Emma T is either extremely lucky or she's had subtle work done Hmm

MarthasVineyard · 14/09/2014 17:47

Do you think so?

doesn't look like it to me

Although I'd agree that she is lucky to have exquisite bone structure.

SBGA · 14/09/2014 18:12

I knew I was looking old when teenagers go quiet as I approach them, and respectfully part to let the old lady through.

I think being tired and sleep deprived has a lot to answer for though. I've never looked good when overtired, and I live that way permanently since having kids.

Wouldn't put them back though. I'm just hoping trying to convince myself that the impossible might happen that I might get sufficient rest as they get older.

Suzannewithaplan · 14/09/2014 18:13

it's impossible to say for sure, but surely one could have work ranging from full on 'look 25 when you're 60' to 'very subtle but just a bit to good for your actual age' ?

funnyperson · 14/09/2014 18:33

Well what pisses me off is not the loss of my looks but the junior staff assuming I never looked as young and beautiful as they, and that because they look young and beautiful they are somehow better at their jobs, sadly often encouraged in this view by male staff.

CateBlanket · 14/09/2014 19:08

Did you look at my link, Suzanne? Can't see much evidence of work. Not that it matters ...

Suzannewithaplan · 14/09/2014 19:16

yes I did look Cate
what constitutes evidence of work?
just because a person had some lines doesnt mean they've had no cosmetic enhancements.
I think she looks too good for 55, yes she has lines but no sagging and a very firm jawline

AyMamita · 14/09/2014 19:37

I can accept everything about ageing except facial whiskers. Nobody told me that would happen!

HoobleDooble · 14/09/2014 19:38

Another 40 pluser who's just renewed her passport here. I thought I was ageing last time I did it 10 years ago, but this time was truly horrific!

Before I had DS at 35 people always used to be surprised about my age and say they thought I was 10 years younger, now I tell people I'm 41 and get no reaction at all (but at least they're not saying "Really? I thought you were in your 50s!").

Also, a team of builders have started on a construction site which I have to walk past twice every working day, this made me realise that it has been a VERY long time since I got wolf whistled at. I so wish I could have my 19 year old face and figure back.

Original poster
Maisyblue · 14/09/2014 20:20

funnyperson.......are you ever tempted to take in old photos to show them that there was a time that not only were you just as beautiful as them but possibly even more so. I know it's a bit childish but when you lose a lot of your relevance because you're not young and gorgeous any more, isn't it tempting to just show them how you used to be......

OP posts:
Bonanzoid · 14/09/2014 20:28

It bothers me a tiny little bit and I felt quite guilty for recently noting a little smugly that my brother (who is 2 years my junior) is wrinklier than I am. Blush

JapaneseMargaret · 14/09/2014 20:40

I have to admit, I am glad that I get fewer wolf whistles these days. I hated that feeling of trepidation walking past a building site, or random group of men. The 'meercats', as I described them to DH once. One pops up from what he's doing to look, and then one-by-one, all the rest of them pop up, too. I found it intimidating, even frightening sometimes. I still do, but luckily it doesn't happen anywhere near as often. One of the blessings of hitting 40...

ithoughtofitfirst · 14/09/2014 20:47

Lmao meerkats. That's such a good analogy.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 14/09/2014 20:51

I expect I would feel a bit of sadness if I actually had any looks to start with. The only good thing I can think of is that because God and genetics gave me small norks they have dropped very little and are still looking pretty perky for a 60 year old.

mooth · 14/09/2014 21:30

Japanese, I'm right with you there. I'm not altogether sad not to be whistled at much any more. If it does happen I tend to think they're taking the piss.

noddyholder · 14/09/2014 22:11

A lot of facial structure is genetic

Floisme · 14/09/2014 23:02

I think she looks too good for 55 Shock
How very dare you Grin

sandgrown · 14/09/2014 23:16

Isn' t it funny that we all miss the wolf whistles and beeping horns when we become invisible despite being told it is sexist behaviour. Personally I love it though it rarely happens these days Sad

Suzannewithaplan · 14/09/2014 23:24

I'm just terribly terribly Envy
I mean how dare she have a firm jaw and no jowls and still look untouched by neurotoxins and the surgeons knife Shock Confused

CateBlanket · 14/09/2014 23:49

I've been Googling jowl lifts for a friend obviously and it just seems too risky to contemplate!