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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be fed up of little girls chasing my "hot teacher" dp?

64 replies

Giraffinalaugh · 11/09/2014 07:50

My dp is a secondary school teacher and we've just moved house. A lot of the kids here go to his school and they continuously hang around outside our front gate. You would think someone out of one direction lived here. It's like the novelty will never wear off. It's been months and he's like a local celebrity. As soon as we drive into the road the kids start shouting his name and going all giddy. I can't fucking wait for winter to come when kids no longer "play out".

Yesterday they were hanging around our front gate and harassing him when he was carrying our son inside. So my dp took him up to bed and put him down, and then about 8.30 pm there's a knock at the door asking for him and if we want our car washing. I mean I'm fed up of it to no end but it's driving him insane. The front garden got no attention all summer because the one day he tried to do it there was a gang of year 8 girls there within seconds harassing him so he came inside thinking they might get bored but they never seem to. Why are so many teenage girls obsessed with him? It's driving me crazy!

OP posts:
superstarheartbreaker · 11/09/2014 07:52

Aw ww bless.... I'd shrug it off! He's a teacher.... This kind of thing happens all the time although I must say I've never had the kids outside my door!
At least he's popular!

IAmAPaleontologist · 11/09/2014 07:53

in all honestly is be tempted to ring your local community support officer and get them to drop round and have words about harassment with them.

superstarheartbreaker · 11/09/2014 07:54

Maybe go and have a quiet chat with them and tell them their behaviour is inappropriate and you will have to tell school if they don't stop harassing him.

LumpenproletariatAndProud · 11/09/2014 07:54

I would be asking the HOY to discuss boundaries with the pupils.

That's absolutely not ok.

seasavage · 11/09/2014 07:55

Have you told them to move on / respect his home life?

NameChange30 · 11/09/2014 07:56

I think your husband needs to tell them politely but firmly to go away. He (and his family) have a right to privacy in his own home! If the girls still persist despite being told, could he have a word with their parents or write them a letter? I know they're young but they need to learn that it's not appropriate behaviour.

FrontForward · 11/09/2014 07:56

I agree with involving HOY. You need to stop this for a number of reasons

bearleftmonkeyright · 11/09/2014 07:58

Erm, cant your husband sort this out?

Original poster
Giraffinalaugh · 11/09/2014 07:59

Yes HOY is a good plan. He has told them politely many a time that this is his home and it's not ok but they are all just obsessed. I really thought the novelty would wear off.

OP posts:
FuzzyWizard · 11/09/2014 07:59

He really needs to speak to his Headteacher about this. That is not on at all. I know they probably mean no harm and have just all got a bit carried away but if this happened at my school (all girls school where all the male teachers under 40 and some over 40 have to put up with a lot of silly giggling) they would be called in by SLT and told in no uncertain terms that this was unacceptable and in future will result in a serious punishment. I live close to school and I accept that means a certain amount of awkward "Hi Miss!" encounters in the supermarket when my trolley has only gin and Doritos in it but I wouldn't accept kids hanging around outside my house.

Flangeshrub · 11/09/2014 08:06

Stealth boast about your hotty DP Grin

OwlCapone · 11/09/2014 08:08

I would be asking the HOY to discuss boundaries with the pupils.

This, definitely. It needs to be flagged up with the school.

WooWooOwl · 11/09/2014 08:12

This is why many teachers choose not to work in schools local to where they live. Not necessarily because they're all hot, but just because there's less chance of them being bothered by students and parents when they're using their own local facilities.

I agree that someone else at school with more authority needs to deal with this.

MyballsareSandy · 11/09/2014 08:13

Grin at gin and Doritos.

whois · 11/09/2014 08:16

Husband needs to man up and deal with this. 1. Tells the girls to go home and respect his private life. 2. Gets HOY involved.

Sounds to me like he quite likes being Mr rock star teacher and doesn't want to do anything about it.

FickleByNurture · 11/09/2014 08:16

I think the less time they are spending near your DH the better. Lovesick schoolgirls can get carried away with their fantasies and I've known people's teaching reputations ruined by false insinuations of intimacy. The man in question was gay and therefore clearly wasn't interested but he had to leave his job.

mrsmaturin · 11/09/2014 08:18

There is a certain fascination with teacher's houses I think. I mean they live outside of school? What do they DO? What do they BUY? Grin

But this has gone beyond this and is harassment you're absolutely right. Get your dp to raise it with the senior team.

WildFlowersAttractBees · 11/09/2014 08:23

DH used to work in a secondary school and we purposely lived over 10miles away. However our children were also schooled in that area and it really put us off using the local town for events their friends were going to as inevitably there would always be a gaggle of eyelash fluttering teenage girls following us about.

He worked in FE too and that was even worse... imagine meeting said infatuated students when they are 18+ and in the pub. Hmm.

HOY needs to be involved and a swift discussion about boundaries and respecting others is essential.

Heels99 · 11/09/2014 08:25

I think the norm is not to live where your pupils live isn't it? That's why most teachers don't teach at their local school.

externalwallinsulation · 11/09/2014 08:45

Oh come on, it's not their fault for where they live! I'm sure we all know/can remember how silly teenage girls can get when they discover emotions and sexuality. I can remember it being somewhat like being stuck in the middle of a hurricane!

It sounds like there's a group with a crush on him. Good news is that these are pretty transient, and I'm sure it'll pass soon as they get fixated on a more available person. Bear in mind that your DH's authority and LACK of real availability is exactly why he appeals to these girls: too young for adult relationships, they tend to pick on pop stars/older males to test out some of those feelings before they are ready for a real relationship. One group will fix on a teacher, another might fix on Harry Styles, another on an older boy at the school.

In the meantime, definitely flag it up to the school - just to make sure that you are covered in the unlikely event of any problems arising. I think I would probably also head out to the gate as his DP and explain very nicely that you have a child and that their behaviour is a bit threatening/frightening for him and that he won't settle down to anything (even if this isn't strictly true) and ask them to move up the street. They'll be nice kids with their heads in a whirl and they will be prepped to obey your authority precisely because DP is a teacher.

MidniteScribbler · 11/09/2014 09:03

He needs to take this to the head immediately. Rumours can destroy a teacher career, and he needs a paper trail of what exactly has been done and said to put a stop to this situation. The girls need to be spoken to in an official capacity and told to stop disturbing their teacher at home, and their parents should be notified also. This is a very serious situation, and may seem cute and a just a bit of a teenage schoolgirl crush, but the implications for him could be very serious indeed.

CaptainFracasse · 11/09/2014 09:10

Yes I would agree about rumours or accusations. I know someone who ended up in that case (and before anyone says, he wasn't living close to the school etc). He had to stop teaching in the end :(

I also don't think that teachers HAVE to live outside the school area. I mean depending where you are living, eg rural area, you would end up living quite far away from the school and then being told that you aren't local enough and it's not right as it a local school Hmm
So yes very certainly involve the head and if that's not enough, ask for a community officer to come round.

jammyjamjam · 11/09/2014 09:14

Agree with Midnite...although it's all harmless, albeit annoying, it could damage his reputation. He needs to talk to the Head about this

CaptainFracasse · 11/09/2014 09:15

And btw they are not little girls anymore either...
They are all teenagers and should be treated as such.

I round also tell your DH to be extremely careful re what us happening at school and to follow all the safeguarding procedures to the letter, inc not being on his own with one of those girls (I suppose he us teaching them?).
But what they are doing is close to harassment and they need to be aware of that too.

Dukketeater · 11/09/2014 09:17

He deffo needs to talk to the head about it to protect himself! When I was at school the hot science teacher knocked a girl back so she said he pinched her bum! He was suspended pending investigation!

And I'd move further from the school...

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