To wish I was the girlfriend of a Russian oligarch?

[LoafersOrLouboutins]

Today I had to see my (now Ex) boss for the last time. He was a total power tripping wanker fairly unpleasant. The train was also delayed and I didn't get a seat because a selfish twat of a man insisted his laptop bag deserved a chair . My day was rubbish. I went for a walk around Knightsbridge/Mayfair and I saw lots of gorgeous Russian men leaving the restaurants and hotels sadly they didn't seem interested in me when I started drooling. Gorgeous women followed them too. AIBU to be totally jealous and wish I lived in Mayfair, didn't have to work and could have a man speak to me in Russian all day?

In my next life, when I'm not a size 14 with tits that sit around my waist and I'm 23 rather than 32, I just KNOW I'll be an oligarch's girlfriend.

Goes back to eating biscuits in dressing gown and picks nail varnish

I can't imagine it's a very secure life. And having to be 110% on top of everything always with no off days/bad hair days/pissoffandleavemethefuckalone days - I'm not sure it would end up being a dream life! I'd probably have a bash though (size 16, spaniel's ears for tits, wrong side of 25 -verywrong side of 25!!)

Definitely BU. Why would you want to be the prize tit for a man who's likely shagging a dozen other fake blondes?

Yanbu sort of

Sometimes I look at my life and wish I'd bagged someone loaded when I was young and beautiful, I know it's awful to think it

Given the day I've had - which involved leaving for work at 6.30am and getting in from work at 9.30pm - I'd happily let my oligarch shag half of Moscow if it meant I could swan round the shops, restaurants, spas and bars all day.

No. Fuck it. ALL of Moscow.

The constant maintenance would be annoying. I wouldn't be able to take my make-up off when I got home: what if we were invited to an exclusive dinner?! I'd be very insecure about being cheated on so I 'spose I'd just spend more time on the yacht or buying Gucci shoes. I describe my tits as 'bottom heavy' rather saggy . I suppose 'watermelons' would be the 'tit shape' necessary for the 'girlfriend of Oligarch' role. Worth a try though!

I would let him shag every woman in every city in Europe if it meant I never had to answer to a wanker boss, use public transport or blow dry my own hair again. If only I could turn back time...

Yes yes. I want mine to hve a slightly dangerous air, and have trained in special forces so even though he has lots of bodyguards he could take down a dozen men single handedly. Sharp suits and stubble and eyes like lasers. And amazing bod but not from poncy gym work, from doing man shit.

Not that I've thought about it.

Sigh.

I believe that this handsome devil is still on the market OP. Wishing you a lifetime of happiness together

More details here.

Pringle have some

Squoosh, you've made your point very nicely

I think my vagina just closed up after reading squooshs post.

This may be the least horny I've ever been.

He is grotesque. I'd rather fuck a dead dog with scabies with a leprosed cock whose ball fell off as it entered me.

sp1rals we have the same taste! Mine would pace around our mansion sipping ice cold vodka straight because he had done yet another big business deal which was all a bit dodgy. He'd always come across as cold and aloof but I would know how passionate he is.

squoosh- I'm too old for him

URGH at the link

I mean, I would prefer a him to be more Abromovich then squoosh's find, but...

'He is grotesque. I'd rather fuck a dead dog with scabies with a leprosed cock whose ball fell off as it entered me.'

Tricky. I can't make out from that whether you fancy him or not.

It tells you the kind of day I've had that I look at Mr Serbia and think "well, I could give him a make over and get the interior designers in"...!

And I'd convince Mr Serbia that we should go on lots of holidays- separately. You're going to New York, darling? Oh, I'm going to Beijing!D'you think I should go blonde? Most of the women I saw were blonde. I'll add blonde hair dye to the list of botox, a facelift, a boob uplift, maybe another boob uplift, a tummy tuck, Russian language classes and a million other things I need. oh and a time machine so I can be 23! [grins].

I've just spat my tea on the keyboard at Pringle's comment.

YANBU OP. Of course you can be a whore.

It's not a career for me though thanks.

LOL Single I clicked on the link and thought, "Well, house wise, you'd just get in an interior decorator!" And I'm happily married and had a good day!!

I think girlfriend of a Russian oligarch is a wonderful ambition for any women. There'd be a lot of pickled fish though, I think.

ohbladee I think the OP is probably, you know, talking tongue in cheek?!

Shiksa.. That's all you'd be seen as. These men make me shudder but each to their own. It's outwardly glamorous.

I can see the appeal OP - I too am of a mind to have a boyfriend that lets me start collecting Lucian Freud's.

When, this morning at 6.30am, I found myself crushed on the tube with my face in someone's unsavoury armpit ahead of another 15hr day of hell, I took another look at Mr Serbia...

...and then checked out Skyskanner....