To wish I was the girlfriend of a Russian oligarch?

[LoafersOrLouboutins]

Today I had to see my (now Ex) boss for the last time. He was a total power tripping wanker fairly unpleasant. The train was also delayed and I didn't get a seat because a selfish twat of a man insisted his laptop bag deserved a chair . My day was rubbish. I went for a walk around Knightsbridge/Mayfair and I saw lots of gorgeous Russian men leaving the restaurants and hotels sadly they didn't seem interested in me when I started drooling. Gorgeous women followed them too. AIBU to be totally jealous and wish I lived in Mayfair, didn't have to work and could have a man speak to me in Russian all day?

In my next life, when I'm not a size 14 with tits that sit around my waist and I'm 23 rather than 32, I just KNOW I'll be an oligarch's girlfriend.

Goes back to eating biscuits in dressing gown and picks nail varnish

single Can I come to your wedding? Or will you be having a low key, get married at his home, type wedding? I got up at 6am and drove myself when I deserve a fecking driver to the shop. I might start Russian language classes today continues dreaming. Is it really being a 'whore' if you are in a relationship and find him reasonably, I'm thinking more on the Abromovich look than Mr Serbia attractive. I could accept being a shiksa. Shiksa and proud.

Nope, wouldn't swap my husband for anything, sorry! Do you think any of those men would wake up at our son's 3 am feed offering to help because the little cherub still won't burp for me (he will for daddy - it's a father/son conspiracy involving vomit).

Regarding the shit on the train who wouldn't move his precious laptop bag (I bet it didn't even contain a laptop) - when faced with such fucks I simply say 'excuse me' in a very loud voice until they move. No need for 'please' or 'thank you', ever!

You do know you are all talking about prostitution? Having sex for money, or so you can go shopping and to the spa instead of work, is just a form of well paid prostitution.

And no, prostitution however well paid is not my dream life.

Gee whizz people! I think the OP was being lighthearted. Relax with the lectures.

This is a light hearted thread! I'm not really going to dye my hair blonde, have surgery, learn Russian and start hanging around the hotel bars of Mayfair all in the hope I'll catch the eye of an Oligarch! although if I was young, exceptionally beautiful and slim I'd probably give it a go, I'd have to like him though. This isn't a moral debate!

Friend of mine is married to a wealthy Russian. Not oligarch territory but they have 3 houses and she doesn't work but still has a nanny housekeeper. Kind of nice.
BUT 3 weeks after her c section he booked her in for a personal training session. So she could start getting back in shape.

If you are ok with that I suppose, but it's not for me.

Holly Valance is something of an idol.

Okay, I will leave you to joke about how you could have been a well off prostitute.

femin please do try and get a grip.

I think i'm too lazy to be the girlfriend of a Russian oligarch. I only work 30hrs a week and I think i'd have to do so much more than 30hrs in the gym and beauty parlour to get up to scratch.

In my next life i'd like to be a Russian oligarch, female of course, and get to have my pick of buff young men. Always better to be the one in control!

Personally I think my wish list would skip the Botox gym bunny crap. In my next life I will be one of those women who live off chocolate and don't exercise but are effortlessly slim, toned and stylish. Naturally gorgeous with swishy hair and lovely skin.

Then I will focus my life on reading and going to museums. Sod the gym.

Yuck no, gilded cage etc.

it would be a gilded cage (but i think you know that really)

sorry you've had such a shit time. at least you have actually got away from horrible ex-boss

ThinkAboutItTomorrow wow, I kind of expected that would be the standard expected but that must have been difficult for your friend.

Oh my fuck! Im just recovering from squooshes post up thread. Jeeeez all that gold and twisty furniture with pale stuff - nah...

He looked very miserbale poor man.

I think it was a bit tough for her. But she mostly laughed it off. They generally have a fairly equal relationship but every once in a while he has these odd ideas!

thinkaboutit Ive been a member of a gym unsucesfully for a few years. Im always there with kids for their stuff or swimming.

What you realise is that the people who are slim and look fab is how much hard work they put into the fitness/shape/tone. Also how long they spend post shower doing a lot of grooming.

Its all nice but quite vacuous. There is one women who always looks stunning but has quite a sad personal life. A lot of them gym bunnies are loney too.

YABVU. Chances are you'd pay for it with your life. If not immediately then longterm. Not my idea of a good time, sorry.

I'm up for it. It between swanning around, I'd become a patron of the arts and would found my own charity (literacy and/or postnatal health) and have impossibly glamorous fundraising balls. To which you are all invited, of course! I'd be a bit like Dasha crossed with Nadia.

What theme should I have for my balls? (Nothing to do with the dead leprous dog upthread, please!)

Agreed Thumbwitch. These comments are as close to the reality as young kids imagining being a superhero.

There must be a Russian oligarch somewhere who has a partner with thick ankles, wide hips and a pleasant rosy face.

Yep squoosh, she is buried under the patio

God, I'm LOL'ing on the floor from squoosh's link from the previous page. Thank you for that.

I love the picture of him in front of his stove top. Look at this stove I have specially installed for beautiful lady!

Mr Serbia 2014 in his pink dressing gown looks like bagpuss!