To wish I was the girlfriend of a Russian oligarch?

[LoafersOrLouboutins]

Today I had to see my (now Ex) boss for the last time. He was a total power tripping wanker fairly unpleasant. The train was also delayed and I didn't get a seat because a selfish twat of a man insisted his laptop bag deserved a chair . My day was rubbish. I went for a walk around Knightsbridge/Mayfair and I saw lots of gorgeous Russian men leaving the restaurants and hotels sadly they didn't seem interested in me when I started drooling. Gorgeous women followed them too. AIBU to be totally jealous and wish I lived in Mayfair, didn't have to work and could have a man speak to me in Russian all day?

In my next life, when I'm not a size 14 with tits that sit around my waist and I'm 23 rather than 32, I just KNOW I'll be an oligarch's girlfriend.

Goes back to eating biscuits in dressing gown and picks nail varnish

OP, you should read Jackie Collins The Power Trip. Features an oligarch who does charity work, has a huge penis and a supermodel girlfriend.

OP be very wary of replacing an existing Russian girlfriend. They can be extremely scary. speaking from experience of DDs stage school auditions where there's a whole gang of very competitive Russian mums

Mr Serbia looks like a combination of the Krankies.

I have a friend who is UBER loaded, and very well known in his field. Married, 3 kids etc. All of the women in our social group envied his wife, as did I. He is good looking, charming, funny and always unfailingly kind. He is utterly devoted to his wife and family (her words not his).

Then I spent a week with them. Wow, that woman has the patience of a saint and it was no surprise when over a couple of bottles of rose and a sneaky fag it all came tumbling out. I cant say too much because it would out me (and them) but control freak perfectionist is the least of it.

He cannot see that not everyone sees the world in the same way as him.

After that week I no longer harboured secret fantasies of me "catching" him first! Rich men become rich because they are ambitious, driven and totally focussed on being successful. Any woman in their life will have to accept that she will never be the priority. Thankfully my friends wife is equally driven in her own career and is at the top of her game so she understands his devotion to work, but on a personal level I really dont know how she does it without putting a pair of scissors in his head! After a particularly fraught day where he was on real form we were having dinner and he said "Ah the way to my heart is through my stomach!" it was a joke after a conversation about something else, and she said "No it isnt. I am surgeon, trust me on this" with a look. I had to go out I was snorting so much :o

My husband is a rich Texan who dies in a terrible accident leaving me all his cash and house in Kensington.

Is this this him HRH? :o

Do you ummmm, know when this terrible accident will occur?

Assuming you are joking of course, if not then I am sorry and ignore me

I truly can't imagine many duller, more miserable existences than being the knightsbridge girlfriend of an oligarch. At least if you lvd in a mud hut the only way is up, but that life has so many material trappings and yet I bet it would be emotionally and spiritually dead. you don't get to be an oligarch by caring about other people's feelings.

Again, with having just left the office, I'll happily sign up to any Russian language classes going.

Not. A. Bother.

13 hour day before travel?
Or shag Mr Serbia once a month?

13 hour day before travel?
Or shag Me Serbia once a month?

Decisions decisions...

He's that texan's son bogey he has also left me his house in Barbados and a gaffe next to brad and ang in Provence.

My boys go to harrow so I rarely see them. I'm looking out for my future ex husband

SinglePringle stop snivelling and start listening to your Learn Serbian in 30 Days CD on the commute home. That fox won't wait forever!

Squoosh, 30 days you say?

This thread is seriously funny.
I haven't laughed this much in ages