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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think when you're fat you can't just 'chuck' clothes on?

81 replies

mumukahoney · 09/09/2014 11:57

In the last year I have gained 3 1/2 stone, mainly due to a chronic health condition, bereavement and the resulting emotional eating.
I am desperately trying to lose it and also be kind to myself as to the reasons why I've gained it. So far I've lost half a stone through better eating (exercise is limited due to health condition.)
My DS is unwell so this morning so I had to take him for an early morning appointment. I quickly threw some clothes on (thinking I looked ok) but then caught sight of myself in the doctors window and I looked AWFUL.
Now I don't have huge self-esteem issues, I have a pretty face and a DH who isn't bothered by my side but I just looked terrible. I can make myself look nice with good clothes, make up, hair etc but when I was slim I could still look nice just throwing some clothes on.
Maybe it's just me but now I'm fat (and I am fat 3 1/2 stone on a 5ft 1 frame is a lot) I have to have time to look even good.
So AIBU to think you can look nice being fat but you have to have time to put yourself together well?!

OP posts:
Original poster
mumukahoney · 09/09/2014 11:58

size not side!

OP posts:
StripyBanana · 09/09/2014 12:01

I agree. I also find I dont really know what you can just throw together even when I do have time. Things don't quite hang the same. Like you I put on a lot of weiggt in the space of a year or two and im struggling with it now. Similarly im half a stone in!

I keep seeing dresses that I thibk would "suit me" I the style colour etc and then remember they don't hang well on my fat lump!

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 09/09/2014 12:01

I do agree, I've lost 2 stone in the past few months and getting dressed is getting much quicker, I now take half the time. Can't really exercise much either due to health condition and I'm 2 inches taller than you.

Hope you start feeling better soon.

DialsMavis · 09/09/2014 12:09

Agree, I'm only a bit overweight but can look ok or enormous depending on careful outfit choice... Jeans and a t shirt are not an option

Pootles2010 · 09/09/2014 12:11

Yes sadly true! I'm not great at putting outfits together - add in being overweight and broke... well!

Some women do it wonderfully, but like you say, takes time & effort. Very easy to look sloppy.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 09/09/2014 12:14

Slim people can look like shite if they don't make an effort too

cherrybombxo · 09/09/2014 12:17

Yup, I'm a chubber (albeit a smaller chubber than I was a year ago) and I can't just throw on leggings and a sweater or jeans and a tshirt. I can look pretty good (I like to think!) but I have to do hair, make-up and wear a dress with tights every day or else I look like a big fat bag lady. I'd love to be one of these skinny waifs who looked great with a messy bun and an oversized sweater but I just look like the back end of a cow.

Original poster
mumukahoney · 09/09/2014 12:18

Glad it's not just me :) I feel like I have to be a little bit overdressed to look nice so whilst the slimmer Mum's at toddlers are in jeans and a t shirt I'm in a nice dress, belt and cardi. I'd rather be wearing jeans and t shirt but I look awful in them at the moment!

Stripy Well done on half a stone - don't know about you but even that seems to make clothes a bit looser!

schro Thank you -congrats on the two stone weight loss - that is a real achievement with limited exercise. Hoping I can do the same!

Noarmani Of course but for me being over weight means I look like shite AND fat rather than just looking shite if that make sense?!

OP posts:
MrsWinnibago · 09/09/2014 12:20

YANBU. If you've got bits you don't want to show off then every outfit needs to be carefully thought out. Which limits all kinds of combinations..."can't wear that top with skinny jeans...my stomach will show, can't wear skinny jeans if I want to wear this coat....what about the fact the only bra that looks good will show with that dress?"

It is hard.

PenisesAreNotPink · 09/09/2014 12:22

Yep, agree.

I've had to stop caring or I'd never get out the house. I wear 'gardening' clothes all the time to avoid it with my allotment wellies.

If I don't wear gardening clothes it takes me 40 minutes to look ok enough to go shopping etc.

Curlyweasel · 09/09/2014 12:26

YANBU - I am same height as you and have gained around the same amount (i.e. 3 and a half stone over my ideal). I tend to wear maxi dresses with cardigans all the time to just look "okay".

Haven't got/won't buy any new clothes at the moment because I'm determined to lose weight, so everything looks tired and worn.

Rubbish innit? Sad

MrsCurrent · 09/09/2014 12:27

I completely understand, already a stone over my upper acceptable limit in January I've put a stone on since with not being so well. I have a limited selection of items I can leave the house in and even then it's a careful mission to try and hide the lumps. I
want to be able to chuck on jeans and a vest again!

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 09/09/2014 12:36

You'll get there. :) Ideally I want to lose another 2 stone to take me to where I feel comfortable, but that's at the lower end of my healthy weight range.

I couldn't shift it with diet before but found low carbing really excellent when you can't exercise. :)

Mutley77 · 09/09/2014 12:36

Yes I agree. Have just lost a stone (still more to go!) - but the difference is amazing, I can quickly get dressed or changed and seem to look sleeker and better groomed than I did before - when seriously the only difference is my weight.

Good luck with your weight loss. I have had some emotional issues too but losing weight has helped as I feel so much better about myself which is real motivation to carry on - hope it will be the same for you.

AbbieHoffmansAfro · 09/09/2014 12:36

Yep. The slim me throws on jeans and a sweater and looks reasonable, even chic. Chunky version faffs about finding clothes to hide the bulges. It's grim.

MrsFlorrick · 09/09/2014 12:48

It's not just a fat thing. It's also a getting older thing.

I gained 6+ stone when I had my first DC so I was very very fat. And tbh nothing made me look great.
Lost it and gained it all back with DC 2 and I've now lost all the weight again.
I'm back to a BMI of 21 and a size 10/12.
However I cannot just throw clothes on anymore like I used to.
I am now old (over 40) and frankly need quite a bit of polish to make me look civilised.
If I have to throw clothes on and run out without doing make up and hair, I would scare small children including my own Blush

I lost more than 6 stone twice in a short time. And I have a hip and back issue so exercise isn't something I can easily do.

I would recommend trying out a few diets/ways of eating to see h
What suits you and works for you.
I tried weight watchers (not for me). Juice diet (effective but yikes hard). Dukan (super effective but only sustainable for about 3 months at a time). Low Carb (easy to do but I didn't lose huge amounts). 5:2 (amazing. Totally sustainable, easy, no special food, books or anything needed. Not even much will power).
With 5:2 and support of the threads on here I got to my goal weight and have maintained it. No trouble at all.

I'm not suggesting you necessarily try any of the above. There are lots of others out there. Just find something which works for you. We are all different.

You can do it! And obv if you're still young (younger than me anyway) you will be able to throw any old thing in and look amazing.

Besides how many women with toddlers in tow generally look amazing? Not seen many. Once all the DC are at school things tend to improve.
ThanksFor you.

backbystealth · 09/09/2014 12:50

I agree too.

I'm 'only' a stone overweight but I was just thinking earlier how scruffy and rubbish I look due to a) only fitting into about 20% of my wardrobe so having to wear the same stuff over and over and b) nothing actually looking that great on me.

I know I need to buy new stuff a size bigger but I keep thinking I'll lose the weight. Then I don't. (Why????)

mymummademelistentoshitmusic · 09/09/2014 12:52

I totally agree. It's been a shocker since putting on weight. It is possible to look good, though, if you learn your new shape and dress for it. And avoid the bloody maxi dresses!

Original poster
mumukahoney · 09/09/2014 12:58

Thank you mrsflorrick your kindness and encouragement has bought tears to my eyes. Well done on your loss I'm 'clean' eating which does seem to have worked for the half a stone and is full of good food so I feel less tired.
I'm 32 so hopefully can still pull off jeans once I've lost the weight although I'll probably still need lots some make up to look good and of course will be still be covered in weetabix every now and again ;)

OP posts:
Original poster
mumukahoney · 09/09/2014 13:01

back I'm the same is so depressing to have so many clothes I just can't wear. I can only just get my 'thin' jeans over my knees which is very depressing! It seems to have crept on too - I didn't really notice how big I had got (even though nothing fits) until I got some scales and started really looking at myself.

OP posts:
MiscellaneousAssortment · 09/09/2014 13:06

Ooh what's clean eating?

Am in same position as you, bloody difficult isn't it, much sympathy.

StripyBanana · 09/09/2014 13:07

I went to a pilates class... sadly the wall to wall mirrors are not forgiving!

Original poster
mumukahoney · 09/09/2014 13:11

miscellaneous It's basically eating good food, so no processed junk, no refined pasta/rice, no refined sugars, lots of veg and lots of natural foods. I've also cut out wheat (due to digestion problems and as recommended by consultant) and also switched to almond milk rather than 'real' milk.
And the hardest I've limited wine!

OP posts:
mymummademelistentoshitmusic · 09/09/2014 13:17

What's almond milk like? Taste, Creaminess, etc? Why's it better? I only use skimmed and like it but will happily change if it tastes ok and helps.

StripyBanana · 09/09/2014 13:23

is all pasta/ rice refined or do you mean you eat wholemeal?

We're trying to stick to homemade and increase veg but not completely there yet.