To think when you're fat you can't just 'chuck' clothes on?

[mumukahoney]

In the last year I have gained 3 1/2 stone, mainly due to a chronic health condition, bereavement and the resulting emotional eating.
I am desperately trying to lose it and also be kind to myself as to the reasons why I've gained it. So far I've lost half a stone through better eating (exercise is limited due to health condition.)
My DS is unwell so this morning so I had to take him for an early morning appointment. I quickly threw some clothes on (thinking I looked ok) but then caught sight of myself in the doctors window and I looked AWFUL.
Now I don't have huge self-esteem issues, I have a pretty face and a DH who isn't bothered by my side but I just looked terrible. I can make myself look nice with good clothes, make up, hair etc but when I was slim I could still look nice just throwing some clothes on.
Maybe it's just me but now I'm fat (and I am fat 3 1/2 stone on a 5ft 1 frame is a lot) I have to have time to look even good.
So AIBU to think you can look nice being fat but you have to have time to put yourself together well?!

mymum It's nice - quite creamy. I have a problem with dairy and lactose so consultant advised cutting out. If you're trying it just make sure it's not one with lots of crap added.

stripy I don't eat wholewheat pasta as I can't eat wheat but I eat brown rice, quinoa etc
Have been using a lot of recipes from www.deliciouslyella.com. She is vegan and although I'm not, she has lots of healthy and tasty recipes to cook.
I'm very interested in food for health at the moment, having been so unwell for the last few years. Whilst I know I can't be cured eating less crap can only be a good thing!

I will add it's taking a bit of getting used too as I'm not a natural vegetable eater!

used to

Totally reasonable. Same as you - 4 stones on in a year - new, very stressful job plus close family bereavement 6 months ago and now I look like crap. Can just about look a bit less like crap but mainly not. I've lost 5 stone twice with weight watchers but cannot get my dieting head back on so am stuck looking like this. And then eating to make up for it (logical huh?!!)

My biggest issue is how unprofessional I look. I'm in a job where I have to inspire confidence in those I advise. Not so much at the moment.

I think it is hard if you have been thin/ thinner before hand, I have a style that I feel comfortable in that does not translate to a size 16(I am a shortie). I just do not know what to wear when larger added with being self conscious. I have larger friends who dress beautifully so I know it can be done. The other problem I have is the reluctance to spend on larger size as in my mind it is a temporary blip and by Monday I will be miraculously a size 12!

Just to throw in actually buying the clothes in the first place is a PITA!

No chance of just running in and choosing between tops/jeans/dresses. First you've got to hope that there's at least one in your size - whether you like it or not is secondary!

That said, I'm loathe to complain because it is my own fault. Yes, I have a back issue that rules out a lot of impact exercise (i.e. the stuff that burns fat!) but I also eat too many biscuits. and crisps and chocolate

Thanks mumu. Tbh if it's too creamy I probably wouldn't like it.

bigspotty It's so easy to let it creep on when things are tough and I agree with you about the 'professional' part.
If you've done it before you know that you can do it again though. I also eat to make up for being fat which is stupid and makes no sense in my logical brain. I often think of 'Fat Bastard' in Austin Powers stuffing his face and crying, 'I'm fat because I eat and I eat because I'm fat.' Would be funny if it wasn't so true...
I'm really trying to break the cycle but isn't easy!

thomyorke That's how I feel at the moment I've been eating well for a couple of weeks and have lost half a stone but feel like I should automatically be fitting in to my size 10 jeans. I am trying not to get disheartened and go back to bad eating but I have been tempted a few times! It seems like such a distance place to go back to.
I also agree about the style thing BF (before fat) I liked to dress in an indie/effortless way but I just can't do that now!

So sorry for your loss and health issues. Being kind to yourself is a good thing to keep in mind .

I agree. I dress far more quickly now I'm 6 stones lighter. When I was bigger I dressed more to hide bulges and that took time. Shopping is quicker too now.

Very much liking the Austin Powers reference - very true!

It just happens overnight almost - it's like watching that I don't get too fat.....some bad stuff happens.....oh shit! How'd that happen? I'm now massively overweight.

Good luck with it - and try to be kind to yourself. It is hugely difficult to manage and knackering dealing with the internal dialogue every minute of every day.

Thank you bssh Congrats on losing 6 stone - tell us your secrets!

Good luck to you too bigspotty I'm sure when you are ready you can lose it again too

Mumu. Well done on the half stone lost with clean eating! A great start.

It's hard when your normal/old clothes don't fit. I had the same thing with jeans. But I kept trying them on every two weeks or so and as I lost weight they went up higher and higher until the day they were on and zipped up

You can combine clean eating with either Low Carb or 5:2. That will help. Worth looking at the MN threads for it.

I'm not saying its easy to lose weight. But it can be done. And it will be much faster than you think.

As you've not got as far to go as I had, you will quite quickly get to the point where you do look much slimmer which is motivating.

Fwiw I still wear jeans etc i am not dressing like my gran just yet.

I just find that I can't really leave the house (or my bathroom for that matter) without a little foundation/bronzer/mascara and lip balm and hair done.

Admittedly I wash my hair daily (v short bob - not a Mumsy one!). And I comb it and let it dry until it's almost there (while I dress DC and give them breakfast and feed guinea pigs pack school bags etc etc) and then blast it with my Babyliss Big Hair which takes less than a minute.

And the minimal makeup (ultra natural look) takes less than 5 mins.

But without the hair and minimal makeup I literally look old scruffy blotchy tramp-like and feel minging.

Unlike when I was young and looking "undone" was sexy and cute.

As you're only 32, you will still look fresh so you've got time on your side.

And hello Bssh. How are you?? Not seen you for a while.

Hope you're doing well.

I am the same, 4 stone over 8 months at 5' 2" = horrid.

At my 'normal' size, I could bung on a pair of jeans or cargo pants and a t-shirt and feel fine - now I am just a round, shapeless blob.

High dose steroids, stopping smoking, anti-d's and going from being v v active to bedridden did it for me!
Am well now though (7 months after an op) and ready to get back to my old self - I don't care if it takes a while, but I don't like being like I am now as it's not me iyswim.

OP - this is interesting, I saw this just after making a point on the 'frumpy' thread - it sounds more like you are just buying bigger sizes without buying clothes that suit your new body shape.

I was larger last year after having DC2, and I bought a dress that I could just throw on with thick tights and my flat ankle boots or ballet pumps and look good. A great 'low effort' look - that dress was a real 'work horse' and worn probably about once a week. I lost weight by Christmas and saw the exact same dress in the January sales in my new smaller size. Bought it and have hardly worn it, it's a dress that suits a larger body shape, it wasn't the slightest bit flattering on a smaller frame. (I looked like I had no boobs, didn't sit right round my hips, it just needs more of a curve).

Look at the clothes you have bought in your new body shape, have you just got the same styles but bigger? Are you trying to just 'throw on' an outfit that suits a small body? Perhaps an assessment of why you have clothes in your wardobe that aren't 'good clothes'.

However, I've had 2 DCs and am now in my 'late 30s' - I can't do "throw clothes on and look good" without at least also tinted moisturiser, mascara and a brush through my hair. Age means looking 'alright' requires some effort, 'good' requires a lot of effort - this is true for fat or thin.

I'm the same - 3 1/2 stone over two years due to having the DC's with SPD through both pregnancies. I did a lot of dancing beforehand and I had to give it all up so my body just went boom.

I've managed to shift 12lbs since Christmas, but it's so much more difficult than before I had the boys! I can't just go to a class or pop to the swimming pool. I have to wait until DH gets home and by then it's so late I'm either knackered or everywhere's shut!

Clothes wise it's a flaming nightmare. Clothes manufacturers seem to think that tall people can't also be fat people Honestly, at 5'11'' it was hard enough trying to find clothes that fitted (let alone actually looked half decent) before I got fat - now it's almost impossible! I spend most of my life in trousers that are at least two inches too short because I can't wear skirts at work, and all the lovely tea dress things in the shops, which actually flatter my enormous fuller figure are so bloody short on me they're obscene!

I've lost two stone since March and have another 7-10lbs to go, yet already there's a whole new world of fashions and styles that I can access on the high street now, that I simply couldn't contemplate this time last year. I'm no fashion slave, but even just being able to buy a summer dress from Dotty P's was something I couldn't do before, tucking tops into jeans was a no-no, and I wouldn't have gone within ten miles of a skirt no matter how the style. I was fat, no getting round it, and it was entirely my own issue, no one 'made' me do it. Losing weight has been a similar experience. I finally reached that mental point where you go 'nope, not doing this any more' and I just stopped. Stopped over eating, stopped eating the wrong things, started exercising both physically and mentally - read better newspapers, watched more challenging things, tried to fill my life with a little bit more than food. I've no idea if I'll be able to maintain this time (did I say I'velost the same two stone about three times in the past decade?!) but I feel in a better place mentally than previously at any rate.

I don't know. I am thinner than average and can look bloody awful, esp on school run!

mines a no time to exercise thing i would lose my wobbles if i could exercise unfortunately its not happening

plus my clothing does not flatter me i buy jeans in my size and they are a snug fit but then they creep down and my wobbles come out to play and hey presto im hitching them up and looking like shit on a shingle

i really need to tone up and lose some but mostly TONE UP!

plus my hair is falling out in huge clumps so im doubly looking like shit now!

Yanbu

Anti. I'm also 5'11". And I know exactly what you mean!!

If it helps. Uniqlo trousers are strangely long in leg and very generous sizes. I'm now a 10/12 most shops but an 8 in Uniqlo and the legs are still plenty long. Ditto for their tops and jumpers.

And prices are not too bad so good for in between clothes. Iyswim.

I agree with pp who says this is not just a 'fat' thing but a getting older one. It's been a long time since I have looked passable in casual clothes and I can't leave my hair unwashed for even one day. Everything just takes more effort.

Yanbu. I've lost 5 stone since April, still have just short of 2 stone left to go though. Definitely true. When I was my heaviest I actively avoided glancing in windows/mirrors because I looked fucking HUGE. Even if I didn't think I looked quite that big in the mirror at home... You definitely can't get away with a tshirt and jeans when you're bigger. One of the things I'm looking forward to most is being able to not over think my outfit choices because just about anything looks good.

Well done on losing the half stone though! You'll get there.