Am I unreasonable to not give up our (mine & DH's) bed for PILs when they visit next?

[Rainbunny]

Really just wondering if I'm alone in hating other people sleeping in my bed? I love my pils, they are great, kind and wonderful guests. We're currently renting a one bedroom flat while we save to buy a house. They have visited us before, and they slept on a queen size air mattress (which everyone who has ever slept on it including myself has thought to be a really comfortable mattress) and they had no problems on it last time. They'll be in our city again soon and there's a pretty good chance they'll stay with us again. Out of the blue DH said that he didn't like the idea of them sleeping on the air mattress again. I completely understand, his parents are in their mid sixties and I wonder if I am being a poor host by not offering them our bed and for me & DH to sleep on the air mattress next time?

Here's the thing. I really, really hate the thought of anyone else but me & DH sleeping on our bed. I was forced to give up my bed as a child to accommodate an elderly relative whenever she visited. I hated it, she smoked like a chimney and didn't smell good (clean) herself. It used to make me feel physically sick to have to use my bed again after she left each time. I'd sleep on the floor for ages after she'd leave. I clearly developed a germaphobic issue over this.

Does anyone else feel this way?

I know, DrudgeT, but ailments and the inability to cope with an airbed can affect people of any age, and OP says her PILs are in good shape. I just get annoyed at the assumption, common even on MN, that decrepitude sets in at 60 or even earlier.

My parents can be a bit like your PILs OP, they will put up with any amount of discomfort (or anyone elses) rather than spend any money they really can avoid doing, they can afford to pay out for stuff, but can't stand waste. They also wouldn't want to stay in a hotel if I paid.

However, I've said, we have no spare room, and only have airbed or sofas, or a very good B&B round the corner. So far, they will always drive the 1-2 hours home rather than stay. They are looking to rent out their house and move to their holiday home in France for good - when they come back, they are currently saying htey'll stay in hotels, but I'm sure what will happen is they will impose on family. I am holding hte line, airbed is all I'm offering, they can afford a travelodge, they are chosing to be uncomfortable rather than spend money they can easily afford.

You shouldn't put yourselves out massively to pander to wish to avoid spending any money (their own or yours).

All you people who can't bear the thought of anyone else sleeping in your bed - how on earth do you cope when and if you stay in hotels, holiday properties or as a guest in other peoples' houses?

Yes tricky -I do understand where you,re coming from.

I would definitely offer our bed - that might not want it but I'd offer it if the alternative was a mattress on the floor. But. I'm not fussy about my bed or bedroom etc.

hooby - that's a different issue, that's not your bed. That's staying in someone else's. It's not someone in your space, that's you going into a space that's not yours. Different issue.

My bed is mine.

Guests get to choose between the couch (which is actually comfy) or a hotel. I've never had problems with this.

Of course I also have parents that live an hour away who have a lovely guest room so, they normally defer to there.

So, your DH wants to rent a whole house for the 4 of you to stay together whilst they visit? Your 'thrifty' PiLs will be OK with that expense but will balk at the thought of your paying for a hotel room for them? Sounds to me more like he thinks they will be hurt or offended if he suggests they stay somewhere other than your home. That's a different problem.

As far as giving up your bed, how about if you buy a good quality mattress cover and completely new bedding for use only by guests. You could even buy one of those plastic waterproof mattress covers to start with then layer the cover on top of that. When they leave, strip it all off and put 'your' stuff back on.