Am I being unreasonable to being hurt by other's reactions to my empty nest

[Baxterismyboo]

Hi. I would be grateful on other perspectives to my current dilemma. Brief background: I am in my mid 50s with 2 sons aged 24 and 26. I was a single parent for 23 years. My eldest left 7 years ago to go to Uni and my youngest moved out just over a week ago to live with a friend. I have tried to be supportive to both of them, helping them move, being stuff for the new flat etc etc.
I fully accept that this is the best thing for both of them. They are both young men and need to make their way in life. However, thus is a real end of a chapter for me and the future is slightly scary. I am now living alone, I don't have a partner as such. Both my parents are dead. I have friends but none of them are in the same position as me and they don't understand. I am getting comments like 'Treat it like a new adventure' (smug married friend). My youngest son has not been to see me once since he moved out or invited me round since I dropped off the last of his stuff. ( I know it has only been just over a week but he lives a mike away).
My eldest is almost verbally attacking me when he phones me by telling me that I knew this would happen one day so why am I bothered?Why did I get a dog when I knew that they would eventually move out. (Dog nearly 2) Why don't I move in with someone else? (Who???) Sell up and move nearer my brother? How dare I text him and mention that I am living alone because he knows that? Why should he keep in touch with his brother now?
I honestly feel that I have wasted the last 23 years devoting myself to them, working hard and making sacrifices if this is how I am treated, like some sort if weird pariah. I have never felt so alone. I will get used to the whole living alone thing, but all I am looking for is a little understanding, a little empathy. Am I over reacting as I don't seem to get this from family and so called friends? I am truly trying to put on a brave face to the rest if the world.

OP I understand how you feel.
But a word of advice:

The worst thing you can do is guilt trip them and whatever you do, don't sound 'needy' in your phone calls and texts - it will push them further away.

The best thing you can do is to try and be positive on the phone.
They might avoid you for a while (spreading their wings) but eventually they y will come back to you (mentally).

It's a wait it out game I'm afraid, but they will come around eventually, especially when they see that you're nice to be around, and not all naggy and clingy, which can push people away.

My plan is to spoil my son rotten when he comes to see me so that it will be a pleasure not a chore! My future DiL is going to hate me

My son is 4 months old btw

Felt sympathetic until I read the length of time: just over a week! You won't make them want to visit by loading on the guilt. I know what it is like; I am a divorced mother of two and it was horrible when they finally moved out. But, like you, I was working full time, and I valued the time alone at night: peace and quiet, supper on a tray, watching what I wanted to watch on TV, having friends round. They both come round regularly to see me, and the tumble drier/roast dinners and I am sure yours will too. Give them time.

No need to be so aggressive Latte with your giving out grips, and your FFS.

Bereavement to leave desolate or alone, especially in death ....so not exclusively about death.

I'm sure the OP is delighted by your charm and empathy.

I can only endorse what others have said OP. Please try not to overdo it. My DH's mum has driven him to distraction for the last 20 years since he left home. I actually have some sympathy with her - but he's totally fed up