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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I BU or was he? New bloke related

84 replies

Scarletohello · 08/09/2014 14:06

So I've been seeing a new guy for a couple of weeks. He stayed over at the weekend and during the night I was finding it very hard to sleep as he was snoring and wheezing and talking in his sleep. So I went to sleep in another room. He was a bit annoyed about it and said he almost went home but didn't. So he stayed on the Sunday but the same thing happened again. I was lying in bed wide awake in the middle of the night listening to him snore and eventually went to sleep in another room. I got up this morning and he had left without saying goodbye. I know he didn't have to get up early for work and he hasn't texted me since. I think his behaviour is quite childish and passive aggressive but was what I did rude...?

Need some advice as don't know how to play this now...

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 08/09/2014 14:46

More Red Flags than Tiananmen. Run,

penguinsaresmall · 08/09/2014 14:52

He's telling you who he is - listen.

latte that is one of my favourite MN quotes ever Smile

UncleT · 08/09/2014 18:08

YANBU. Run. Do not engage further with the burk.

lorriehearts · 08/09/2014 18:49

If you've not already got as far as the hills, get running - this guy sounds like an epic, epic tosser.

hormonalandneedingcheese · 08/09/2014 20:18

He sounds like a dream OP Hmm . This is supposed to be the new, exciting and fun stage yet so far he's acted like a child, told you to shut up and is playing the passive aggressive silent card.

Original poster
Scarletohello · 08/09/2014 20:24

Yes I'm not going to contact him, only thing is he's left some stuff here. Oh well if he wants it it's up to him. I don't want to be with someone who is so easily offended and (over ) reacts like this.

That's the problem sometimes with internet dating I find. You're so glad the guy you meet on a first date isn't a total loser that it's easy to get involved with people you don't really know at all too quickly.

OP posts:
hormonalandneedingcheese · 08/09/2014 21:27

Sounds like you're better moving on to funner pastures OP :)

It's easy to think someone is great if he ticks the right boxes on the first date but as time goes on that's the real teller. I once realised someone i was dating was a complete sexist, misogynist and racist but it took 5 weeks for that to come out. He seemed so nice at the time but getting to know him you see the bad along with good.

At least the bad coming sooner acts as a cut off for you :)

Original poster
Scarletohello · 08/09/2014 21:30

Indeed it does. Although I do wonder what he was trying to achieve by behaving like that. An apology from me?

OP posts:
LatteLoverLovesLattes · 08/09/2014 21:35

Well done you, good decision. Don't let him talk you around.

penguinsaresmall - yes, it is good. It's not mine (just to clarify), but it is one worth living your life by.

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 08/09/2014 21:37

Fuck only knows what he was trying to achieve - perhaps getting your 'in your place' quick sharp?! If he can't even 'play nice' this early on, I'm betting he's a very very nasty bastard once he gets comfortable :(

needaholidaynow · 08/09/2014 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SanityClause · 08/09/2014 21:46

It's not just a MN quote.

Was I BU or was he? New bloke related
rainbowinmyroom · 08/09/2014 21:59

Yeah, don't bother contacting him. He doesn't contact you in a month, throw his shit out.

hormonalandneedingcheese · 08/09/2014 22:30

Probably wanted you to apologise, most likely just to get his own way?

ThatSmellsLikePoo · 08/09/2014 22:36

Frontier - I can kind of see his point - 2 weeks in staying in bed with him should be more important to you than getting your full 8 hours

Seriously?? Staying in bed with a rutting water buffalo should be more important than sleep? On what planet?

Dwerf · 08/09/2014 22:48

He's being a knob. I've been known to either not sleep at all or get out of a lover's bed and go home so I don't disturb their sleep by snoring like a hog with a chest infection so unfair otherwise.

VanitasVanitatum · 08/09/2014 22:58

Absolutely agree with thatsmells why on earth should you have to lie awake all night while he sleeps?! Not exactly intimate..

He should have been apologetic not sulky!! Get rid before you get attached. If he does get in touch, just ignore him.

Seriouslyffs · 08/09/2014 22:59

Shut up and let me talk
ShockHmmAngry

Username12345 · 08/09/2014 23:28

Box his stuff up.

If he knocks on your door. Hand him the stuff and shut the door.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 09/09/2014 07:05

I think you should see him again just so you can tattoo "knob" on his forehead as a warning to others.

No really. Save yourself. Good on you for noticing.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 09/09/2014 07:07

Ah, no need to be mean though. I think it would be wise to not see him again.

WilburIsSomePig · 09/09/2014 07:27

Agree with boxing his stuff up. Get rid asap.

HannerHet · 09/09/2014 09:06

He sounds vile, get rid.

Shardlakelover · 09/09/2014 13:01

I would absolutely run for the hills. He sounds a total tosser.

ScrambledeggLDCcakeBOAK · 09/09/2014 13:18

You are right to get rid.

this early on your both should still be in the loved up faze and after his little outburst imagine how bad things could be once he's settled into comfy with each other rather than the former!