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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if there is any poster on MN that lives a polygamy relationship.

62 replies

PiperIsOrange · 07/09/2014 19:41

I am getting addicted to watching sister wives also known as my 4 wives.

MN has thousands of users, there has to be 1.

I don't know how Kody does it, 4 wives and a lot of kids

OP posts:

Aherdofmims · 07/09/2014 19:49

Not me but sometimes I like the idea! Except the sex which would be icky to share your regular sexual partner with others.

But you could look after each other's kids and gang up on hubby when necessary!

Original poster

PiperIsOrange · 07/09/2014 19:51

I do find it fascinating, but couldn't get past sharing my husband especially for sex.

OP posts:

cherrybombxo · 07/09/2014 19:58

I couldn't, I'm a very jealous person (not an attractive trait, I know!) and I couldn't share him.

TheLovelyBoots · 07/09/2014 20:07

Not here. I would love for a polygamist to explain what the leftover women are meant to do, though. I have googled this endlessly and have not found an answer.

I have a Mormon babysitter but I gather this is a really prickly topic for Mormons (they have long since ex-communicated polygamists, but it persists) - I have always wanted to asked but thought better of it.

iamdivergent · 07/09/2014 20:07

I love this show but I couldn't do it in rl...I'm fairly jealous

blueemerald · 07/09/2014 20:11

I'm not but a close (female) friend is. She and her boyfriend have been together about 4 years now (we're 28/29) but don't live together or have children.

It's worked well for them up to now but she's just found out one of her boyfriend's new girlfriends is a sex worker and is having a hard time getting past that.

TheLovelyBoots · 07/09/2014 20:14

Seriously? There is no way I'd be having sex with someone who was having sex with a sex worker.

EverythingIsAwesome · 07/09/2014 20:14

Sister Wives and My Five Wives are different TV shows, about different Mormon polygamous families. Both Kody and Brady (the husbands) give me the creeps.

MollyHooper · 07/09/2014 20:16

You should watch Big Love Piper.

EverythingIsAwesome · 07/09/2014 20:16

Its not very likely to happen here, as its an off shoot of the Fundamentalist LatterDay Saints, which here arent many of over here.

seasavage · 07/09/2014 20:18

Not me but I am RL friend of a MNetter who is ..... (I know something you don't know of me. I do apologise).

ClashCityRocker · 07/09/2014 20:18

I'm sure there was a thread in relationships started by someone in a poly relationship.

Why is it always men that get to have more wives and girlfriends? Why not a woman with a group of men?

Mind you, all sounds like too much hard work for me, the dynamics of a relationship between two people and their respective families is tricky enough.

I mean, how do they decide whose parents to visit for christmas?!

TheBloodManCometh · 07/09/2014 20:19

Are there family groups with one wife and multiple husbands? (In RL not on the show). Or does it not work that way?

wantacatplease · 07/09/2014 20:22

I also find the men in these situations creepy. And exploitive, if I'm honest.

seasavage · 07/09/2014 20:23

Actually my mistake. Sorry her relationship is multiple male partners.
Ok. I take that back. So she doesn't meet the criteria.
I did have a student who moved here with her husband and other wife (their relationship wasn't recognised and immigration was fraught).

FishWithABicycle · 07/09/2014 20:24

I'm good friends with a polyamorous group but both the men and the women have two or more partners. It's been a stable and happy set of relationships for longer than some marriages that have come and gone within the wider friendship group over the years. I think it can work if you have a non-screwed-up attitude to sex, bodies etc - we would be shocked at the idea that the addition of a new child into a family would ever imply less love or commitment to the older child or children, so theoretically it should be equally possible to add a new adult into a family without anyone feeling less loved or valued. Never tried it myself but I can appreciate the rational basis for choosing to live with such an attitude.

mathsgsceresit · 07/09/2014 20:25

I have an acquaintance who is in a set of polyamorous relationships. Multiple men and women with multiple men and women.

Far too much like hard work for me.

Aherdofmims · 07/09/2014 20:26

Yes the men are always creepy.

I think maybe living with the sister wives but no husband could work! Or just monogamy families living together.

That might just be a commune I am thinking if in fact...

blueemerald · 07/09/2014 20:26

Well quite, TheLovelyBoots. The whole thing is a bit

To be fair in their relationship they both have other partners.

Original poster

PiperIsOrange · 07/09/2014 20:27

Is big love a film or TV program

OP posts:

rainbowinmyroom · 07/09/2014 20:29

That guy on Sister Wives is fucking rank. You'd have to be warped to give that thing the time of day, much less shag him. Eeewww.

littleducks · 07/09/2014 20:33

Big love is a TV series. They only showed one series on UK terrestial though. I really enjoyed it and found the multiple wives thing fascinating
m.imdb.com/title/tt0421030/

Bouttimeforwine · 07/09/2014 20:36

Isn't one woman with lots of husbands called polyandry and it does exist in some parts of the world thinks back to sociology lessons many years ago

I think Kody and Brady are quite nice.

Their wives are attractive.

Original poster

PiperIsOrange · 07/09/2014 20:39

I will hunt that down, another series to get my teeth into

OP posts:

ScrambledeggLDCcakeBOAK · 07/09/2014 20:50

It's more common than you think.

It is not just in offshoot of Mormon F.L.S either.

Both men and women can and are the solitary partner.

There are also family's who have the core ie one husband/wife and 3 wives/husbands but the multiple partners have boyfriends/girlfriends who do not take part in the core relationships.

On a personal note though I can only cope with the two of us, couldn't be bothered to add extras to the mix!

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