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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if there is any poster on MN that lives a polygamy relationship.

62 replies

PiperIsOrange · 07/09/2014 19:41

I am getting addicted to watching sister wives also known as my 4 wives.

MN has thousands of users, there has to be 1.

I don't know how Kody does it, 4 wives and a lot of kids

OP posts:

Oodlives · 07/09/2014 21:00

Didn't Tilda Swinton have 2 partners?

Original poster

PiperIsOrange · 07/09/2014 21:01

I don't feel DH spend enough time together as it is with work, DC, housework, gardening and having me time.

Never mind throwing another wife in the mix.

OP posts:

AnnaLegovah · 07/09/2014 21:13

I'm SO glad you mentioned Big Love, Molly, it's one of my fave tv series of all time. A really interesting look into polygamy and written really well. Both the positives and negatives explored in depth. Not enough people have seen it wants more people to see it so has someone to discuss it with

I can see the benefits of polygamy in some ways. For example, I have no family within a 3 hr drive and few friends. I would love to have another grown woman in close quarters who I could talk to about all sorts. Life would be a lot less lonely. Couldn't do the sharing husband for sex thing though.

MollyHooper · 07/09/2014 21:48

It's brilliant, isn't it? I don't know anyone who has watched it either. I ended up forcing asking DH to watch it with me and he loved it too.

It's a hard one to recommend without sounding like you're recruiting some sister wives though. :o

'Oooh, it's all about polygamy and it's brilliant.

AnnaLegovah · 07/09/2014 23:07

Haha yeah I've had nothing but weird looks when I've recommended it. Nobody would watch it with me . It should have had more accolades to be honest but I think the subject material got in the way.

I love LOVE Margene. She's awesome.

Original poster

PiperIsOrange · 07/09/2014 23:12

Can't find it online looks like I will have to find it on DVD

OP posts:

MollyHooper · 07/09/2014 23:29

Nikki is my favourite, she is infuriatingly funny.

I just found this quote which made me laugh

Adaleen: [to 10-year-old girl] OK, here's how it goes; it's complicated, so try to follow along. I'm 32nd of 56 children, and when I married Roman I became my own step-grandma, because my father married Roman's daughter, Baylene. [conversation continues off screen] So, little Josie, that makes you my step-grandma, and I'm your stepmom. And when I had Alby he became my great-uncle and I became his great-great-grandmother. Which of course makes me my own grandmother :o

Is it not on Netflix or anything Piper?

AnnaLegovah · 07/09/2014 23:31

Watch it if you can find it Piper, if you're interested in polygamy you'll enjoy it. I got my set from Amazon.

look another sister wife for us Molly

Original poster

PiperIsOrange · 07/09/2014 23:34

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B006LMIM1U?pc_redir=1408085661&robot_redir=1

£50 odd will have to wait for payday

OP posts:

IntheYear2525 · 07/09/2014 23:34

Polyandry was common in Bhutan, I'm not sure if it still is. In order to avoid subdividing family land, one woman would marry all the brothers in a family.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 07/09/2014 23:38

I've just watched Sister Wives,I love it especially since finding out they all loathe each other!

MollyHooper · 07/09/2014 23:38

Yes Piper, join us... O_O

Honestly though, it is worth the money. You'll end up watch all five seasons more than once.

MollyHooper · 07/09/2014 23:39

Watching*

Itscurtainsforyou · 07/09/2014 23:47

Loved Big Love! Thought it was really well done

LadyIsabellaWrotham · 07/09/2014 23:55

Some mates of ours were in an openly polyamorous two-men-one-woman long term relationship (they also made veiled suggestions to DH and I - we weren't interested, but that was fine, nobody was offended). It seemed to work perfectly well as far as I know although they didn't have children and one of the chaps seems to have faded from the scene now. Another married (to a man) female acquaintance refers to herself as polyamorous and bi, but I don't know the details.

Original poster

PiperIsOrange · 07/09/2014 23:56

Found it on eBay £35 it's in my basket.

OP posts:

SailorEverRose · 07/09/2014 23:59

I would love for a polygamist to explain what the leftover women are meant to do, though. I have googled this endlessly and have not found an answer

I don't get what you mean, who are the left over women?

From what I can understand doesn't it work like a rota, Wife 1 has Monday, Wife 2 has Tuesday etc

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 08/09/2014 00:01

DH and I had a "husband" once upon a time. It was good while it lasted, and we would have been more than happy to make a long term life together, but it turned out he hadn't been honest with us about some pretty serious stuff so we split.
It was painful, like any major breakup, but it did bring DH and I even closer together so that's something, and now a few years have passed we can look back fondly and share happy memories, rather than it hurting any more.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 08/09/2014 00:10

That's interesting Intheyear, I know it sometimes worked like that in Tibet too. I think the logic was that if brothers had the same wife, they would only produce one set of heirs between them so property (herd animals) wouldn't be split down and down with the generations.

newhereappreciatehelp · 08/09/2014 00:22

Interesting. I wouldnt mind but i think id want a second wife to also be bi sexual. Then no one would feel left out!

chocolatemademefat · 08/09/2014 00:36

I think my DH having another wife would be fantastic. As long as she was the one doing the housework and providing the sex. Leaving me more time on mumsnet and my kindle.

Glastokitty · 08/09/2014 02:34

I have read loads of books about the FDLS, its a nasty cult full of spousal and child abuse. Most of them live in poverty, they are barely educated and the girls are often married off to old men when they are barely out of puberty. Teenage boys are often expelled from the church, family and community on trumped up offences. Warren Jeffs the church leader is n jail for life for sex abuse and marrying a child. So I can't really watch those programmes with an enjoyment

Glastokitty · 08/09/2014 02:41

Obviously all polygamists are not FLDS though, if grown ups want to live their life as polygamists then its no skin off my nose. Its when people are coerced in the name of god to live like this, often when they are still children then I think that's very wrong.

smellysocksandchickenpox · 08/09/2014 03:18

I knew a family 1 man 3 women. None of the women were in a relationship with each other. The impression I got was that the oldest and youngest wives were both madly in love with the man and that they saw "putting up" with the situation was better than being without him. The middle wife seemed most happy with it out of the 3 women, but she bullied the youngest/newest wife and seemed strangely to not have much interest in the man - she was head of the house and kinda his buisness partner. The oldest wife was like his emotional life partner, there seemed to be real love there. She was a lot older than the others, she never stood up for the youngest when the youngest was bullied by middle - she just sort of ignored it and did her own thing. Man seemed uninterested in youngest's unhappiness and the way she was bullied but there was lots of PDAs from him to her - it seemed he was just interested in her sexually, if anything he seemed to find it amusing that women were falling out, I presume he assumed over him. Middle wife and man had a child - child had no playmates as local children were not allowed to mix with him. It was all a bit sad, only winner was the man.

smellysocksandchickenpox · 08/09/2014 03:21

that family weren't religious as far as I know

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