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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let ds walk to/from school by himself?

73 replies

extremepie · 07/09/2014 10:54

Ds is going into yr3 very soon and we live about 5 minutes away from the school, can practically see it from our house although there is a road to cross on the way.

He is desperate to have a bit more independence and says he doesn't want me to treat him 'like a baby' but I'm unsure as to how safe it would be and how I would be perceived by others if I said yes :/

According to HT children are allowed to walk home from yr3 so they officially don't have a problem with it but I'm still worried people would think of me as slightly neglectful if I said yes. I've already said no to him going to the park on his own (which is right by the school) but is the walk to or from school ok?

OP posts:
Whooshtheyweregone · 07/09/2014 10:57

How busy is the road? Could you see him across the road and then let him walk the rest of the way?

seasavage · 07/09/2014 10:58

Only you can decide. Is he sensible enough? As you say there are no roads / you vould watch to start with. Then the risks are pretty low.
Personally I'd be keen to support that wish.
The park is different to the school, but once he's got used to the wslk to school the pressure will increase :-)

MrsWinnibago · 07/09/2014 10:58

No. I wouldn't. There's plenty of time to not treat him like a baby. If he's year three then he's what? 8?

seasavage · 07/09/2014 10:58

Sorry *is a road. How busy? Is it lollipopped?

Original poster
extremepie · 07/09/2014 10:58

It is quite a busy road but he is usually sensible - yes I could watch him cross the road, in fact I would insist on it!

OP posts:
Branleuse · 07/09/2014 10:59

walk him to the road and watch him cross by himself

Original poster
extremepie · 07/09/2014 11:00

He's 7 and no it's not lollipoped :/

OP posts:
seasavage · 07/09/2014 11:01

Perhaps build it up start walking him to gate, then across road, then to road edge. Then observe road crossing (no involvement).
A child of that age does need to start developing a sense of road awareness and passively following an adult

WaffleWiffle · 07/09/2014 11:03

Mine eldest two started walking to/home from school alone (but walked together) when eldest was on Yr4 an other was in Yr3.

We live about 10 minutes away with several suburban roads to cross.

I think Yr3 is fine to walk home alone without an adult.

flossieflower · 07/09/2014 11:06

I wouldn't until year 5 at the very earliest.

Nanny0gg · 07/09/2014 11:11

No I wouldn't. Year 3 is too young imo.

LIZS · 07/09/2014 11:12

Think he's too young and given the ongoing issues you have with school not wise. Many schools will not release a child other than to an adult without specific written permission.

sanfairyanne · 07/09/2014 11:15

compromise? he crosses the road with you?
children have no clue about judging speed til secondary generally, and imo 7 is too young, unless of course road is tiny

KatieKaye · 07/09/2014 11:16

As long as you are there for the road crossing, then yes. He is old enough to start being given some small degree of independence. Your solution sounds safe and sensible.

Notso · 07/09/2014 11:20

I live similar distance and let mine at the same age but some parents complained to the head Hmm

Mrsjonesmith · 07/09/2014 11:21

He's way too young. One school had a not before year 6 policy which I agree with.

DaisyFlowerChain · 07/09/2014 11:23

Way too young, local primary will only release year 6 without an adult.

Notso · 07/09/2014 11:24

Why do people feel it is too young?

LEMmingaround · 07/09/2014 11:26

I think its too young. The issues i see are what if he forgets something? Might he get in a tizz? Then come out of school and cross the road? It will be a busy time.

My dd is 9 and wouldn't want to walk to or from school yet. My friends little boy quite happy to but can't as too many busy roads. All children are different.

Maybe start with letting him walk home?

amyhamster · 07/09/2014 11:27

they're not old enough to remember their coats, bags and jumpers at that age

you'll be forever going back to lost property

atticusclaw · 07/09/2014 11:28

I wouldn't but have let DS2 (also year 3) some home on the school bus this year to give him a little bit of extra independence (not that much since the teachers put them on to the bus and our house is the first stop, plus he's with his older brother!).

If you could see the school then maybe. Could you walk with him to the point where you can see the school and then watch him go in?

AppleAndMelon · 07/09/2014 11:28

Nope. It's not up to them whether they want to be treated as babies or not - seven is too young to negotiate things going wrong (lorry reversing, car pulling out suddenly, falling over).

amyhamster · 07/09/2014 11:28

my 7 year old dd would stay to play with her mates, skip after her best friend, etc etc

ThatBloodyWoman · 07/09/2014 11:29

I think its too soon regardless.

When the time is right depends on the set up.

My 10 year old goes nowhere alone yet.

AlpacaLypse · 07/09/2014 11:30

OP has stated that school's policy is to allow children to leave alone from year 3 onwards. So that aspect is not a problem.

I think if he's seen across the road in the morning it's fine. Return journey... OP says no lollipop, but is it a controlled crossing in any way? Zebra, pelican?