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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let ds walk to/from school by himself?

73 replies

extremepie · 07/09/2014 10:54

Ds is going into yr3 very soon and we live about 5 minutes away from the school, can practically see it from our house although there is a road to cross on the way.

He is desperate to have a bit more independence and says he doesn't want me to treat him 'like a baby' but I'm unsure as to how safe it would be and how I would be perceived by others if I said yes :/

According to HT children are allowed to walk home from yr3 so they officially don't have a problem with it but I'm still worried people would think of me as slightly neglectful if I said yes. I've already said no to him going to the park on his own (which is right by the school) but is the walk to or from school ok?

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 07/09/2014 15:05

I also don't think it's fair because there 'potentially could be plenty of people to look out for him'.

Not anyone else's responsibility.

Flossiex2 · 07/09/2014 15:12

If you've got to take your other son anyway, not sure why you're asking. Cross the road with them both, then let him go on ahead.

EatingMyWords · 07/09/2014 15:25

If he's OK with crossing the road why not?

Everyone did (me included) in the 70's and I can't remember us all forgetting bags etc. Surely children are capable of remembering what to take home with them? I pick my 6 year old up but never have to send him back to the classroom to get stuff.

Eva50 · 07/09/2014 15:44

Ds3 is in P4 so year 3 equivalent. I take him across the road in the morning and he walks the rest of the way himself. I still collect him to bring him back across the road but plan that he will come home alone in the Spring. His brothers did at that age. I am only 1 of 2 parents still collecting a child in his year and lots of the younger children walk home unacompanied.

Nanny0gg · 07/09/2014 19:13

Everyone did (me included) in the 70's

That was 40 years ago. I think you'll find the volume of traffic has increased a little since then.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 07/09/2014 19:15

Is it you with the SS involvement? I wouldn't and doubt SS would look on it favourably

MehsMum · 07/09/2014 19:23

My youngest DC went to and from school alone from towards the end of Y5 and all through Y6 - it was 1.25m. Very confident and competent about it, and loved the independence.

You have to judge the situation - how sensible you DC is, how busy the road is and so on. My DC could cross the one main road with the lollipop, and did: otherwise I might not have been so sanguine.

When all's said and done, when I went to primary school, children aged 5-11 were going to and fro in huge groups and little huddles and ones and twos without an adult in sight. This is still the case in many places in Europe, so I understand.

Mim78 · 07/09/2014 19:26

I would at least walk him across the road, probably to the gate. But I don't have a 7 year old yet!

TeenAndTween · 07/09/2014 19:33

I don't think it is fair to rely on other people being around. Either he can do it or he can't.

Also, he may be sensible when on his own, but what if a friend is chatting to him etc? Does he currently always check the traffic himself, or does he rely on you/others.

My DD2 age 9 is pretty good at checking roads on her own, but when chatting, it all goes out the window.

BarbaraPalmer · 07/09/2014 19:45

depends on both the kid and the road

is he a daydreamer? easily distracted? how is the visibility on the road - round our school the nearest streets are so clogged with badly parked cars that it can be hard to see.

I send my 7yo to the corner shop for me. It's a 5 minute walk a couple of streets away, but there are no proper roads to cross, just the entrance of a small and very quiet car park to get across.

However, I agree that if you've had social services involvement this is probably an area in which you want to be following whatever the norm is for YR3 kids at your school, and so I would wait to see if a good proportion of other kids are walking home alone before suggesting this.

redexpat · 07/09/2014 20:32

When I went into y3 I remember my Mum met me at the gate on the first day, then at the library (just next to the school) for a little while, then she would always meet me at the traffic lights which was the only road to cross and was halfway betweem school and home.

I think if you build up it will be fine.

bellybuttonfairy · 07/09/2014 20:46

It depends on the child dd1 is 7 (8 at xmas). We walk to school every day - its 2 miles each way across many busy roads and she and her sister take turns at each crossing to tell the rest of us when its safe to cross.

I think she is very mature for sensible so if I lived that close to the school. I would let her.

bellybuttonfairy · 07/09/2014 20:46

*and sensible

Iggi999 · 07/09/2014 20:55

I have a 7 year old. All the children in how class are taken to school.

hollie84 · 07/09/2014 21:04

I'd cross him over the road and let him go alone from there.

At our school they are allowed to go home alone from Yr 4.

CromerSutra · 07/09/2014 21:08

Unsure about this really but disagree it's a no no till year 6. Many children have a short walk to school and back that they could easily manage in year 5. My Dd began at the end of year 4 walking part of the way. We gradually increased it till part way through year 5 she did it on her own. I think year 3 is a little too soon (even though I walked 2.5 miles to school in year 3...many years ago!).

Having said that dd has been telling me about 2 of her friends whose parents have been walking them to and from secondary school this week, much to their children's embarrassment. I think that is really taking it too far.

EatingMyWords · 07/09/2014 21:12

That was 40 years ago. I think you'll find the volume of traffic has increased a little since then.

Which is why I said if he's OK crossing the road.

fcukip · 07/09/2014 21:14

I think its fine. It depends on how mature your DC is.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 07/09/2014 21:15

Our school would let Yr 5 walk alone.
My DD would sometimes walk home with DS (who is 2 years ahead) if I was unable to (only 2-3 times IIRC)
She was terrified of dogs , DS is fine but it was too big a responsibilty for him on a regular basis.
She started walking home alone late Yr6 (her choice)

MyFairyKing · 07/09/2014 21:15

I'd ask your SWer what she thinks and if she would support you in your decision. It's not easy to say without us knowing the layout of the road and how safe your area may be.

backbystealth · 07/09/2014 21:22

I'd say from reading your previous threads, no. Don't do anything that could raise eyebrows with social workers.

Generally - it depends on the child.

I find it depressing that posters on here say a blanket 'not til year 6'. My dds and their friends have walked home alone from year 4 and 5 and a majority are more than capable.

ThatBloodyWoman · 08/09/2014 08:21

It depends on where you live as to whether a child can walk, even at year 6, though,back.

For example, if you live on winding country lanes with no footpaths, lights, other houses.

Blu · 08/09/2014 08:25

Once he is 8 I would see him across road and then let him go alone.

But I would still meet him out.

Presumably there are many other families walking to school on that route at school run time? DS used to walk to school 'alone' but in reality there were many families he knew / adults who knew him on the same pavement at the same time.

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