To let ds walk to/from school by himself?

[extremepie]

Ds is going into yr3 very soon and we live about 5 minutes away from the school, can practically see it from our house although there is a road to cross on the way.

He is desperate to have a bit more independence and says he doesn't want me to treat him 'like a baby' but I'm unsure as to how safe it would be and how I would be perceived by others if I said yes :/

According to HT children are allowed to walk home from yr3 so they officially don't have a problem with it but I'm still worried people would think of me as slightly neglectful if I said yes. I've already said no to him going to the park on his own (which is right by the school) but is the walk to or from school ok?

My son is Year 4 and really wants to too. It's a 10-15 minute walk and lots of others on the same walk.

There is one hideous junction I won't let him cross alone. Also, I have to walk DS2 anyway so there really is no need for him to go alone.

Since moving to junior school he has never wanted me to come onto the playground with him, I just see him off at the gate. Now if he meets a friend along the way, near school, he says goodbye and goes off without me. The point at which I allow that has got further from the school over the past year.

My paranoia about letting him go the whole way on his own is that I'd never know if anything happened. Coming home almost feels a bit safer as at least I'm the end point iyswim.

I used to get a bus to school 2 miles across London with my little sister when I was 8! (An ordinary passenger bus, not a school bus). And get on intercity trains on my own to my grandparents' (2 hours away) when I was 9.

Not that that's a reason for you to do it however. And FWIW there were no roads to cross on our route.

The issue in my mind is the road, and how well you think your own child will manage it. Is there a safe crossing (e.g. zebra / traffic lights) on the road? Do you think your son is able to cope with it?

If my DS wanted to do this I think I'd walk him across the busy road and let him go on from there. Would that work?

In context, he is allowed to go to the shop by himself (100 yards from our house and no roads) and there are a couple of friends houses I would be happy for him to walk to if I crossed him over the road.

I impress on him that it's not that I don't think he's responsible enough, but that other drivers can be careless and it's my job to keep him safe.

Sounds fine to me. Most yr 3 Kids walk to school by theirself here. My yr 2 dc keeps asking when he can do it, I've told him probably when he's 8. We have a small catchment area though so most are walking with friends, max 10 min walk, quietish roads.
Plenty younger one's allowed out to play here usually with slightly older siblings.

Way too young in my opinion. Many schools won't let children leave school without an adult until year 6 and I think that is the right policy.

Roads near school are notoriously dangerous so really not a good place to start being independent.

Also, as others have said, at that age you really need to be at school at the end of the day to make sure they've remembered coats, bags, lunchboxes etc.

newrecruit does your school not call if you're dc don't turn up? Most do.

When I spoke to the head he said the main concern was that they had someone to meet them at home.
I honestly thing with the distance involved most year three would be fine.

Black wings, yes they would call - but about 9:45/10am. If anything had happened I would want to know WAY before then

I found my children generally got better at remembering stuff when it was up to them to do it rather than me reminding them.

I let my dd start walking herself when she was in yr 4. About 10 min walk, 1 busy road.

For me it's not so much the distance but the road crossings. Where we are, there is a zebra crossing and also lots of other pedestrians also crossing. Where we used to live we had to cross a very busy road. There was a pedestrian crossing, but it was next to a T junction in the road which filtered traffic for left and right turns whilst straight on was red so the pedestrian crossing had the green man to go. The number of times I saw drivers either just get confused, or just plain jump them was ridiculous. I would never have let my dc cross that road on their own.

If you're confident that there is a safe place to cross the road, and that you trust you ds to cross there safely then I would.

Why do people feel it is too young?

Because it used to be considered (and I don't know if it's changed) that 7 is the earliest that children have any road sense - judgement about speed of traffic etc. So just Year 3 is too soon.
And just crossing the residential street outside our school is a minefield!

Is he okay with older children or could they encourage him to mess about?
He's still quite little, what if he falls over? (my youngest did that a lot)

My ds is year 2 but the very oldest in the year, already 7. If could see the school, I'd cross him over the road and watch him walk by himself, if I could see him enter the gate. Otherwise could you compromise and walk him to the point where you can see the school, as a starting point? I'd still want to pick him up after school though.

There are lots of other children and adults who walk to school the same route so there potentially could be plenty of people to look out for him but there is no road crossing at all, just a road :/

Going there I feel better about because I could watch him cross thd road it's coming back that I worry about but my plan if I said yes was to stand at the door at letting out time and just watch for him to come back so I could see him safely over the road.

I do have ds2 to pick up from the same day so the only times he would walk to/from school alone would be if he had a club before/after school but if it's practical and safe I would like to give him bit more freedom.

Dd's school wouldn't allow a year three child to walk home unaccompanied and so would raise concerns about a year three child being sent to school unaccompanied.
I really wouldn't in your position considering SS involvement and their insistence that the dc never so much as be in a different room to you.
My eldest two (now 27 and 26) went unaccompanied from year four and it was commonplace then but I sense would be frowned on more now.

I think it depends on your opinion on how grown up and responsible he is. Most importantly how's his perception of traffic and his time-keeping skills. I would walk him for a week or so but let him make all the decisions about when to cross the road etc so you can access whether he's ready. Then maybe start walking him to the crossing and meeting him there after school for a bit.

I wouldn't rely on the fact there are lots of other people in that route to watch out for him. I'd only let him go alone if I was 100% confident in his ability to negotiate traffic, route etc with no input from anybody.

Its only the road I'd be worried about so if you plan to see him across that safely then I think he'll be fine.

Mum's let all of us start walking to the school bus and back on our own from year 3, which is about 10 minutes walk but up a straight hill so mum could see us from the kitchen window. (my youngest sister is in year 6, before someone points out things were different when I was a child)

I'd let him walk home from school I his own as there will be plenty of parents and other kids around.

The walk to school is different as there tends to be less people around. I'd wait till year 4/5 to walk to school when mine are old enough.

That's what I'm worrying about insanity but when I asked the HT about it last year (just as a casual end of school thing, not in a meeting) he didn't seem worried about it, just mentioned the yr3 minimum thing. He knows where I live too so knows how close it is but I am still unsure :/

I would adopt the attitude of being whiter than white in your shoes. If SS have said they mustn't be in a different room then imagine what they will say to you allowing your 7 year old ds out on the street alone. I would say in most people's eyes seven would be on the young side of allowing a child to walk to school alone tbh. I would say that in SS eyes they would thing you irresponsible considering their already given directives.
There are other ways to allow independence, allow him to make his own sandwiches, choose what he wants to wear, make rice crispie cakes, organise his bedroom etc and none of them would bring you to the attention of SS.

I let ds walk home after easter in yr3. Same as you5 mins 1 Road no cruising. Always been fine. I will do the same with dd when she us in yr 3 too.

Depends on the context. I think I would, in your shoes.. If he's 7 and you want an excuse to not let him, just say " you can do it when you're 8". I'm all for kids being as independent as possible as soon as possible, as I think it builds resourcefulness. And the school is happy to release him, which is a good sign.

Just recognised the OP from another thread. Won't this contravene the instructions from SS that you must be with your children at all times?

Given your circumstances, I wouldn't even consider it at the moment.

seems a bit of a no-brainer if ss are already concerned. easy enough to say no if necessary to a 7 year old surely?

Daisy, I think the being with them at all times is specifically because of ds2 and his disability as he is at more risk of injuring himself when he is unsupervised. Not saying I should definitely let him or anything and my gut feeling would be that they would frown on it I was just trying to gather opinions :)