To send DS to school on Monday after he just vommed?

[MarmaladeShatkins]

I expect I'll get flamed but hear me out, first...

DS just puked up, big time. Thing is, he's perfectly fine now. He said he had tummy ache, lay down looking peaky for half an hour, chucked, now he's fine. I suspect it may have been too much to eat earlier in the day combined with cycling in the park in the sun. I'm pretty much certain that there's no bug involved.

I am SO reluctant to keep him off on Monday, even though school has a 48 hour rule. DS's attendance went down to 98% by the end of last term, as he had a week off sick with D&V after the May half term, then another 4 days off with a weird bug where he lost his appetite/slept all day. The school sent me a note home with him on the last day of last term saying they were monitoring his attendance and they'd consider contacting the relevant authorities if his attendance was low again.

So what do I do? It's early in the new term to keep him off a day for no real reason and I am paranoid about the school. Stupid arses, what do they want; us to keep sick children home or send them in so they don't balls up their OFSTED report?

I'm pretty sure I'm sending him in, if he doesn't throw up again/show any signs of illness. AIBU?

Also, there is no-one with a compromised immune system at DS's school AFAIK.

Nearly 5% of people have diabetes! nearly 1% epilepsy. The school are not allowed to tell you without the parents permission.

Of course they are. They just can't give out the name.

Btw I'm really surprised 98% attendance is considered a cause for concern that needs intervention.

Is this standard practice?

I think I probably would - he'd be 36 hours clear and you don't think it's a bug anyway.

How old is he OP? If it is a bug they're spread by oral faecal transmission, is he old enough to also be very scrupulous about washing his hands? That would also swing my decision, I might be more cautious with a 4/5 year old than an older child.

Completely agree with zzzzz's posts.

By 9 am tomorrow it'll be around 37 hours from, if all goes well, one isolated vomiting episode. If he's been totally fine all that time with no diarrhoea, it really is safe to say it isn't a bug.

He was sick once, with no diarrhoea - so this doesn't fall under d&v guidelines. He's been fine since and you know why he was sick and that it isn't a bug.

Kids are sick for all sorts of reasons, not just bugs - over-exertion, over-eating, over-excitement, worry etc.

Our school has the 48 hour rule and they insisted we keep my eldest off for the full 48 hours every time he was sick, despite him being under investigation by a paediatrician for digestive problems as well as suffering anxiety induced vomiting. Parents at the school know how strict they are about it, so just don't tell the school when there has been vomiting or diarrhoea involved. As a result we seem to get several prolonged bouts of Noro-like viruses every single year, usually involving half the staff going down with it as well. I always made a point of saying in his absence letter that he was kept off for 48 hours, according to school policy.

Two of mine had attendance levels of below 90% last year. Fortunately the school has the common sense to look at each case individually and knew that both mine had been unlucky enough to catch both full on flu and Noro in the Autumn term, a really bad case of Chicken Pox (which for some reason took ages to dry up) just as they returned from the Christmas break and then another bout of Noro in the early spring.

We didn't get a rude letter about it, because they knew the illnesses were genuine and there was nothing we could do about it. I got more and more as the year went on listening to parents in the playground going on about how they sent their child in, even though they were sick last night etc, as if people didn't do things like that my two wouldn't have been ill so much.

Praying for a better year this year, as I barely had a week of the autumn term without at least one child off sick (I have 3 dcs but one is at a different school).

If mine are ill but have a poor attendance record, I don't send them in to keep the school happy. Their health and the health of the other children in their school comes first and they can send me a rude letter and 'monitor' me all they like. I don't keep my dcs home for the fun of it, they are only off if they're genuinely ill - I have nothing to apologise for.

Oh and a child in my ds's class developed epilepsy in the Juniors. The first time they had a seizure was when they came down with one of the many Noro type viruses that was being passed around the school like wildfire - the child in question needed an ambulance to stabilise them before being bluelighted to hospital. They had been in ds's class since Nursery and no-one could have known about the epilepsy. A sage reminder of exactly why we need to observe the 48 hour isolation rules - you simply can't know the medical details of every child in the school, far better to err on the side of caution.

Well aren't you all so helpful saying 'you can get chicken pox twice'. Given I'm pregnant and have a two year old with it so have had my immunity checked by the doctor because I was worried and Catsofa is six weeks pregnant and worried about catching stuff. A little tact might not have gone amiss but no you have to shout about his you know someone who had it twice. FFS.

Oh sorry. If you wanted people to lie to you, you should have said.

You can be exposed to chicken pox in the bloody supermarket for all you know. Breathe. Take intelligent precautions. That's about all you can do.

Every other woman in the world that has been or is pregnant does it. I'm sure you can manage it.

Please care more for his fellow classmates than his attendance record. My dd aged 6 and always perfectly healthy previously, was hospitalised and nearly died after catching an unknown bug. She became ill over 12 hours and was then in ICU on life support for days, she nearly died. She's only just recovering. We were very unlucky, this is unusual but I am afraid it's utterly selfish to send in a child who may be carrying a bug. the 48 hour rule is such for very good reason.

The fact is it's very hard to know what has caused vomiting, you don't know, it may have been a mild bug, which to another child could be life threatening.
It may have been the food, but you can't know.

Thanks Harold. I was pretty certain I was immune but was good to have it checked.

Aren't you lovely Alice.

I was in your position because my mother apparently "couldn't remember" if I had had it useful.

It's AIBU. If you want people to agree with your every word, try another board. You're the one that went off and got snarky and all FFS about it. Not sure why you're being precious about getting a snarky response.

Nobody "shouted" about it. They simply pointed out it's possible. That's life. It's not a matter of tact. Nobody used any scare tactics. They just said it's happened. Again, we didn't realise it was supposed to be sugar coated.

It's far more likely that it didn't happen, but one if the illnesses wasn't in fact chicken pox.

It's not AIBU about chicken pox though is it. That was an aside because someone was worried.

Yes Harold mine couldn't remember either. Helpful

That's your opinion I suppose. I know of two different people that have had it twice, one being my dd. Verified by medical doctor. I can't say I'm worried about it. And I certainly don't need your approval over it.

Life. Goes. On.

If they're that worried about it, they check with their midwife or their GP. This isn't a medical advice line. I hardly think AIBU is a reasonable substitute for medical advice.

Well now you're just being funny in your indignation.

Marmalade if he's been ok over night and he's still fine then you're probably ok to send him.

The 48 hour rule is such for very good reason.

But it isn't a universal rule, is it? As people have pointed out, many schools have a 24 hour rule if it's only vomiting, and out in the big world there isn't really any rule at all.

"But there are no epileptic children or diabetic children at school."

I do think people need to use a bit more common sense than is showing with this statement though. You cannot possibly know this to be fact. The school is not allowed to tell you this information as it is confidential.

The school is perfectly entitled to tell parents that there is a child in the school for whom it would be very dangerous if they caught a d&v bug. They can also say that there is a child in the school with epilepsy or diabetes. They would only be breaking confidentiality if they publicised the name without permission.

Why do people have this misconception? Surely we've all had those letters home saying there have been cases of headlice in school? And many of us have had letters saying please don't send nuts in, we've got a child with a severe allergy? Surely we don't think the school is breaking any confidentiality in sending these?

ds1's second dose of chicken pox (diagnosed by very young GP) miraculously cleared up when we washed his sheets on very hot wash. The spots didn't blister and looked different to his first encounter so were suspicious chicken pox was the correct diagnosis so googled other causes of rashes and bed bugs came up as a strong contender. Having said this we did keep him off school until the rash cleared up just in case which was a pain as he was attendance was very low that year anyway. Just saying even if you go to a GP unless they do a blood test you don't necessarily get the right diagnosis.

There are milder bugs that just effect children. My two had one just before summer holiday, it spread around the school. DS, one vomit, small amount of D 12 hours later!, DD: 2 vomits (but only because she downed water after the first incident). So it could be this type of bug

It's selfish to send a child in (who doesn't have an underlying condition which causes D&V) even if you are sure it is not a bug. You can have a bug and only have one episode of vomiting; you cannot be 100% sure it is not.

I'm currently laid up after getting a bug from a girl who's mum sent her into school sick. She'd been sick once the night before. Took till the afternoon before she was sick again, and the mother didn't even want to pick her up then.

If he seems fine and their is no other symptoms it's not a bug

ds school has the 24h rule ds was terribly sick one Sunday evening perfectly fine the next day called the school to tell them he shall be back Wednesday they told me if he is fine he should come in on the Tuesday do he did

He caught it from his friend, his friend was at ours when his sister became ill, then he was that evening then ds the following day all were fine the following day after being ill

The madthings had a vomit bug over the summer holiday, just one puke with each of them but a few days apart with each child, so it was clearly a bug. They all presented like your son, tummy ache, queaziness then puked and then absolutely fine as soon as they had been sick.

Frustrating but the rule is what it is for a reason.

Schools that say 24hrs are wrong as the medical guidelines is 24hrs.

I just think it's not worth it, school attendance records are pointless. I have had the spotty letters and warnings re attendance officers etc but just explain the reason for absence. Nothing they can do about it.