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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send DS to school on Monday after he just vommed?

174 replies

MarmaladeShatkins · 06/09/2014 20:25

Hmm I expect I'll get flamed but hear me out, first...

DS just puked up, big time. Thing is, he's perfectly fine now. He said he had tummy ache, lay down looking peaky for half an hour, chucked, now he's fine. I suspect it may have been too much to eat earlier in the day combined with cycling in the park in the sun. I'm pretty much certain that there's no bug involved.

I am SO reluctant to keep him off on Monday, even though school has a 48 hour rule. DS's attendance went down to 98% by the end of last term, as he had a week off sick with D&V after the May half term, then another 4 days off with a weird bug where he lost his appetite/slept all day. The school sent me a note home with him on the last day of last term saying they were monitoring his attendance and they'd consider contacting the relevant authorities if his attendance was low again.

So what do I do? It's early in the new term to keep him off a day for no real reason and I am paranoid about the school. Stupid arses, what do they want; us to keep sick children home or send them in so they don't balls up their OFSTED report?

I'm pretty sure I'm sending him in, if he doesn't throw up again/show any signs of illness. AIBU?

Also, there is no-one with a compromised immune system at DS's school AFAIK.

OP posts:
ScarlettlovesRhett · 06/09/2014 22:42

YANBU.

plus3 · 06/09/2014 22:42

That is harsh.....we went back to school on Thursday, and 2 of our Governors and their children are still away on holiday! (Source: Facebook Smile ) here's hoping their attendance isn't an issue!

Original poster
MarmaladeShatkins · 06/09/2014 22:44

LOL! Shock

We get "the grey note" which is 99% and a friendly reminder. Then "the red note" which is for when you drop to 98% and under.

I thought 98% was good, but someone on here worked out that to miss 2% of school, you'd have to miss 3 weeks or summat?!

OP posts:
Peppa87 · 06/09/2014 22:45

How can they have a rule to keep children off for a set number of days after sickness, which you follow, then they threaten you authorities? Idiots.

Go with your gut, mum knows best! Smile

TheCunkOfPhilomena · 06/09/2014 22:45

That link is awful. What I don't get is why you received a letter, what is an unexplained absence? Surely if you call the school and tell them your DC is ill then it is explained Confused

I know your DS doesn't have a bug but if he did would you still be nervous about keeping him home? It's jeffing ridiculous that parents are made to feel like this

supergreenuk · 06/09/2014 22:47

I'm so fed up of people saying 'I'm sure it's not a bug' blah blah blah. How on earth do you know this. Please follow the rules as they are there for a reason and it's because of people ignoring them that the bugs effect so many people.

Original poster
MarmaladeShatkins · 06/09/2014 22:47

No idea?! He had two vomitting episodes last year so I kept him off (one was an actual bug, one was over-excitement/heat) but this is unacceptable.

I tore a strip off the liaison woman on the 'phone. Just what am I supposed to do?! She was at a loss to come up with a solution.

OP posts:
catsofa · 06/09/2014 22:47

In some cases you may have been told when someone's immune system was suppressed. That doesn't mean you will be told every time!

zzzzz · 06/09/2014 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eva50 · 06/09/2014 22:50

I would e-mail the school on Monday explaining the situation and ask if you should send him in or not. If they say not you have written evidence that it was their decision.

The mother of a child in ds3's class told me, at the school gate, that her daughter had been vomiting the day before but was fine now and she had sent her in so that she didn't miss the school trip Hmm. Ds was sick the following day so I had to keep him off for 48 hours.

Original poster
MarmaladeShatkins · 06/09/2014 22:51

Well, in that case, how do you know how far to toe the line?

I walked DS to school last year after a D&V bug, because I had no-one else to. And I had to queue with other parents. But this is an every day situation; I queue with sick people all the time. It's life.

OP posts:
hollie84 · 06/09/2014 22:53

Just because you have previously had a warning that a child was immuno compromised doesn't mean they will tell you the medical history of every child!

HaroldLloyd · 06/09/2014 22:55

If he is fine I would also send him in. DS2 was sick yesterday afternoon and he's been bouncing around all day, I think he just had a cob on.

If he is fine all day tomorrow, I would send him in.

LittleBearPad · 06/09/2014 22:57

Catsofa have you had chickenpox. If so you can't catch it again. I know you mentioned it ages ago but as an currently pg with a chickenpox-y 2 year old I thought I'd mention it. Your immunity to other things will be tested at your booking appointment eg rubella.

Original poster
MarmaladeShatkins · 06/09/2014 22:57

I'm not asking for the medical history of every child. Confused

OP posts:
CromerSutra · 06/09/2014 23:02

I think it's mad that you got a snotty letter when your DS had had some time off school because he was ill! This is ridiculous and I say that as a teacher. Dd had a difficult year health wise last year, thank god her school didn't respond like that.

In this situation I'd see how he is tomorrow if he is absolutely fine I would send him in.

zzzzz · 06/09/2014 23:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScarlettlovesRhett · 06/09/2014 23:07

If you (or your children) have sickness & diarrhoea then clearly you have a bug - therefore invoke the self-imposed exile; if you/your child throws up due to eating too much chocolate, then there is no problem.

Original poster
MarmaladeShatkins · 06/09/2014 23:09

No, Cunk.I'd not be nervous of keeping him at home if he had a genuine illness. But I don't want his absence to build up needlessly. He could be actually I'll next term abands need time off. If I let him have days off here and there for nothing they build up, as I saw last year.

OP posts:
catsofa · 06/09/2014 23:22

Thanks LittleBearPad yes I think I did have chicken pox as a child but not rubella, and I can't remember what else. My mum is no longer with me so I can't find out for sure.

I think I might have to give up volunteering at the after school thing though, given that so many people just don't seem to think that the sickness rules apply to them Sad

OP I feel like the really stupid attitude that the school has to sickness and attendance is the real issue here. Is there any way of challenging it - asking school governors to review the policy, for example? I don't know how schools work but it's clearly a really stupid attitude and seems not to be in line with what is happening at other schools, going by other comments here.

Frikadellen · 06/09/2014 23:57

zzz using your link this is quoted from it]

Vomiting and diarrhoea. Children with these conditions should be kept off school. They can return 48 hours after their symptoms disappear. Most cases of vomiting or diarrhoea get better without treatment, but if symptoms persist, consult your GP. Learn more in Rotavirus gastroenteritis. (that is what your on about)

However also this

Is your child well enough to do the activities of the school day? If not, keep your child at home.

Does your child have a condition that could be passed on to other children or school staff? If so, keep your child at home.

Would you take a day off work if you had this condition? If so, keep your child at home.

If you have a single vomit episode you would answer negatively to all of these.. So you as many said use common sense. Mix them together

Everyone on this post who said to send in have repeatedly said that if op's son vomits again or gets diarrhoea even just the once then go for the 48 hours.. (and if that happens tomorrow that would be a further 2 days of school as Tuesday would be involved)

Hence I do not think there is any need to claim that OP is trying to place any in danger.

My close friends child gets terrible car sickness sometimes when we have driven to school. Thankfully the school is sensible about this or her attendance would have been low.. Last time they went on a school trip the head spent the last half hour on the bus home fanning said child with a paper to try to prevent her from throwing up (She was looking peaky) they got as far as 3 minutes drive from the school and she did (partially over said ht too)
The school for what it is worth has a child with Diabetes and one with epilepsy (neither announced by school simply passed on through parents talking and play dates - the child with epilepsy came to a party parents explained prior to ensure we as arrangers were aware - the child with diabetes was in my dd's class and his mother simply told me one day when we were talking) My dd2 throws up easilly in hot sunshine if she is out and has sports. When she was at the School they sent her home the first 2 times after that they had her in office for 1/2 hour if she was feeling better she went back if not she came home.

Sense has to be used for all of this. This includes Vomiting You do not see any say that the diarrhoea should be just not considered.

wobblyweebles · 06/09/2014 23:58

I'm so fed up of people saying 'I'm sure it's not a bug' blah blah blah. How on earth do you know this.

Because we know our children.

My child throws up sometimes in the morning from nerves. If I didn't send her to school for 48 hours after every time she throws up she would hardly ever go to school.

Sparkyduchess · 07/09/2014 00:09

I'm immunocompromised due to meds for crohns - a once off vomit with a likely not infectious cause wouldn't worry me (and I'm paranoid about picking up stomach bugs as I end up hospitalised).

Vomiting that's caused by a bug is very rarely a one off, and usually has diarrhea alongside it.

If he's ok tomorrow I'd send him in on Monday with a clear conscience.

Waltonswatcher · 07/09/2014 00:19

My Ds had tonnes of time off last year - poor bugger has tic syndrome and it was a rough ride for him . The bloody report stated his attendance as poor but failed to state why , or even mention the crap he'd been through and how well he'd performed academically despite it .
I was pretty fed up until I remembered its just a number . Attendance levels mean bugger all when you're twitching so bad you can't get dressed .
Not really relevant I know ! Just venting I guess...

Awakeagain · 07/09/2014 00:21

The school I work at has a 48 hr rule but think we would rather have the child in than not under the circumstances you have explained
I think its obvious when a child is ill - more than one lot of sick etc

Send him in if he is ok tomorrow, suprised school are concerned about 98% attendance!