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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send DS to school on Monday after he just vommed?

174 replies

MarmaladeShatkins · 06/09/2014 20:25

Hmm I expect I'll get flamed but hear me out, first...

DS just puked up, big time. Thing is, he's perfectly fine now. He said he had tummy ache, lay down looking peaky for half an hour, chucked, now he's fine. I suspect it may have been too much to eat earlier in the day combined with cycling in the park in the sun. I'm pretty much certain that there's no bug involved.

I am SO reluctant to keep him off on Monday, even though school has a 48 hour rule. DS's attendance went down to 98% by the end of last term, as he had a week off sick with D&V after the May half term, then another 4 days off with a weird bug where he lost his appetite/slept all day. The school sent me a note home with him on the last day of last term saying they were monitoring his attendance and they'd consider contacting the relevant authorities if his attendance was low again.

So what do I do? It's early in the new term to keep him off a day for no real reason and I am paranoid about the school. Stupid arses, what do they want; us to keep sick children home or send them in so they don't balls up their OFSTED report?

I'm pretty sure I'm sending him in, if he doesn't throw up again/show any signs of illness. AIBU?

Also, there is no-one with a compromised immune system at DS's school AFAIK.

OP posts:
Coolas · 07/09/2014 00:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheCunkOfPhilomena · 07/09/2014 00:53

Hope your DS is okay and fast asleep now Shatters

Coolas, I do get that some parents might keep their DC at home for a sniffle but surely, it is more to do with OFSTED and league tables? I still disagree with the awards for attendance when good health is down to good luck.

RedSoloCup · 07/09/2014 01:18

Our school is 24 hours sick and 48 diarrhoea so yes I would send him, hth...

HicDraconis · 07/09/2014 04:25

I'm so fed up of people saying 'I'm sure it's not a bug' blah blah blah. How on earth do you know this.

Because I know my child. I know what makes him sick and I know the difference between vomiting caused by infection and vomiting caused by a non infectious trigger. I'm also a doctor but that has nothing to do with it.

If I was at all unsure I would keep him off the 48h, but the OP scenario seems pretty clear cut. One off episode, identifiable trigger(s), right as rain later. I wouldn't keep myself off work for 48h following that, it would be ridiculous.

BeyoncesCat · 07/09/2014 04:36

They're concerned over a 98% attendance?Shock

If he's not well still tomorrow don't send him. Can you imagine going to work when you feel like crap it's awful and nothing gets done anyway!

differentnameforthis · 07/09/2014 06:38

Catsofa have you had chickenpox. If so you can't catch it again That's not true, I have had it twice.

redexpat · 07/09/2014 07:00

I got it twice too. No one ever believes me! Angry

NickNacks · 07/09/2014 07:02

98% attendance is 7.6 sessions so not even 4 days off. If your son had a full week plus another 4 days it would have dropped below 95% and that's why you got your letter from the EWO.

EveDallasRetd · 07/09/2014 07:05

I know a child that worked out he would vomit if he drank milk then orange juice and would do so whenever he wanted a day off. It took his mum months to work it out and by then his attendance was so bad that the EWO was involved, and he was known to everyone as the 'sickly child' that was always ill.

I think the 48hr rule is too heavy handed and doesn't take into account those kids that vom at the drop of a hat (I was one, even now get carsick if I have to sit in the back).

It's pretty obvious if a kid is sick rather than just pukey. Marms DS just sounds pukey.

londonrach · 07/09/2014 07:09

Off point her but answering cat sofa. Mil had chicken pox twice a fact confirmed by the gp who said it wasn't as uncommon as you think.....

RoseTheHat · 07/09/2014 07:12

I hope you all know that in the Hospitality industry there is absolutely no way that chefs take 48 hours off after they vomit/ have the runs Shock

plumnc · 07/09/2014 07:26

Our school follows the 48 hour rule, but they advise that it applies if the chile has more than one episode. Quite honestly by Monday morning you'll know.

My dd once got sent home from holiday camp for vomiting in the pool - they had sent them swimming immediately after eating lunch Confused. They did take her back next morning at least ( no further episodes - quelle surprise).

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 07/09/2014 07:57

DD had chicken pox twice as well. Try explaining THAT to your work supervisor who knew she'd already had them once. Hmm Had to get it confirmed by the GP.

But there are no epileptic children or diabetic children at school.

I do think people need to use a bit more common sense than is showing with this statement though. You cannot possibly know this to be fact. The school is not allowed to tell you this information as it is confidential. There are sometimes situations where a parent will authorise the school to let people know their children are immunocompromised, however children with epilepsy or diabetes are not technically immunocompromised. They CAN be much worse if they cannot hold down either medication or food due to catching a bug.

So rather than a stunning display of ignorance by stating that there are no children with epilepsy or diabetes in the school, perhaps it would be best to realise that there are most likely a fair few people in the school that have medical conditions that could be worse if they contracted a bug.

If you send him back in Monday morning, it should be for the right reasons - meaning no further episodes of illness and no signs of any deterioration at all (such as fever, run down, pale, and so on). It should NOT be because "well he seems okay and there's nobody else at school that will REALLY be damaged if they catch something from him" which is kind of what it sounds like you're saying when you use that as an excuse.

IsItFridayYetPlease · 07/09/2014 08:11

Unfortunately schools need these rules because some parents aren't as sensible as most people here. They need to go to work/shopping/socialising and having an ill child at home is a pain, so despite knowing it is a bug they lie to the school and send them in. They hope the child won't be sick again or have diarrhoea, but know it is highly likely. Some even switch off their mobile phones so we can't contact them when their child has messed their pants and vomited all over their classmates. I'm all for common sense, but you would be surprised how many parents are not prepared to exercise it - hence blanket regulations.

OneInEight · 07/09/2014 08:46

Am vaguely amused by the idea that people can emphatically diagnose the cause of vomiting on the frequency of throwing up. Often when the ds's kindly shared their sick bugs with dh and I they might have been sick several times with varying degrees of unwellness but dh and I only once. It was highly likely to have been the same sick bug but I guess because our immune systems were more developed we were not as affected.

Unless your child invariably vomits in a given set of circumstances then I don't see how you can conclude it is not due to a bug. The OP doesn't mention that over-eating and exercise always causes a problem and if it does then surely she could prevent this scenario occurring by either reducing the amount of food ate or increasing the gap between eating and exercise.

If everyone follows the rules then it reduces the time off sick for all. Apart from anything else kids are more vulnerable to a second infection when they are fighting off another.

ProudAS · 07/09/2014 08:51

Send him in. If he worked in a food handling environment he'd be OK to go into work tomorrow.

The 48 hour "rule" should be a guideline used to inform common sense not a draconian substitute for it.

HaplessHousewife · 07/09/2014 09:11

Legally, schools are not allowed to insist on 48hrs apparently. I rang our school office to clarify the rules because a child in DDs class was sick on Sunday morning and was back at school Monday morning.

The lady in the office said that all they are legally allowed to say is that if the vomitting has stopped and they seem fine/are eating normally, then they can come back.

They sent letters out asking us to abide by the 48hrs when there was an outbreak of D&V but it was more of a polite request.

She said blame Michael Gove that they can't insist on it!

It's a hard one because on one hand you have children who have thrown up eating too many sweets, having to have two days off school for no reason but on the other hand you have an excuse for parents with childcare issues/wanting to go to the gym etc, sending ill children in just saying 'well they seemed OK to me'.

HaroldLloyd · 07/09/2014 09:17

I've had bugs where I have been sick only once or not at all even but the big difference is I have felt dreadful. If a child feels totally fine and is playing normally and hasn't been sick for well over a day, they are not ill are they?

Got to have common sense both ways, I've never sent mine anywhere with a bug, conjunctivitis etc etc but I would send in based on this senario.

Balaboosta · 07/09/2014 09:20

Hang on - if he was sick on Saturday morning and you want to send him in on Monday - doesn't that count as 48 hours?!

LittleBearPad · 07/09/2014 09:20

Well aren't you all so helpful saying 'you can get chicken pox twice'. Given I'm pregnant and have a two year old with it so have had my immunity checked by the doctor because I was worried and Catsofa is six weeks pregnant and worried about catching stuff. A little tact might not have gone amiss but no you have to shout about his you know someone who had it twice. FFS.

LittleBearPad · 07/09/2014 09:21

Sorry Marmalade for the sidebar. I was trying to be nice to someone who sounded worried.

Balaboosta · 07/09/2014 09:24

And totally don't get focussing on the attendance record rather than health of your DS, OP!

HaroldLloyd · 07/09/2014 09:24

chicken pox

Don't worry, look at this it says "rarely been proven" and may be because of misdiagnosis the first time around as a cause, if you've had your immunity checked you've had it.

HaroldLloyd · 07/09/2014 09:25

Sorry, VERY rarely been proven.

flippinada · 07/09/2014 09:27

If you're sure it isn't a bug, send him in.

My DS gets cluster migraines which make him vomit and he's fine and raring to go after a good sleep.