Can I ask those of you who would refuse a male nurse

[Thefishewife]

Just wanted to know really why those who would refuse a male nurse would at the same time accpect a male

Athisisitst
Surgon
Surb nurse
Jr doctor
Odp

Afte much chat about this on here I was telling oh about this who is a male nurse and he told me about a lady who didn't want a male nurse as which is her right but then went on to be examined by the male jr doctor and then the male consultant and operated on her and quite frankly saw more the oh ever would as he just wanted to take obs the scrub nurse was male saw also saw the lady half naked I would imagin

It wasn't a emergancy op btw

I just have always found this very very strange

You're ok with a male if they're not doing obgyn exams? Most obgyns are still male, and therefore will have more experience.

I had a male midwife who was amazing. I think he's known on here, he was based at Queen Charlottes. I was terrified and in pain and had been treated very roughly by an impatient midwife the night before so was very resistant to an examination. He promised he wouldn't hurt me and he didn't. He was so reassuring and wonderful. I have no problems at all with male medical staff at any level.

I have to say with the state of the NHS now, if you insist on a male or female doctor then you really need to be prepared to wait, if your life is in danager then surely you will want someone to treat you regardless.

If you really feel you cannot have a male doctor go private I am afaid. The NHS is not there is pander to all of this. If you have a strong religious belief about women's role (or even men,s role!) then again go privately.

Also my DM has had issues with certain cultures not wanting women in a supervisory place at school when she is teaching in London. The young boys (and I mean 6-7 yr olds have been told not to take direction from women outside of the home!)

The NHS has more to concern itself with this!

I couldn't disagree more with that sentiment Handcream I have worked in NHS Theatres for 16 years and patient safety and dignity have always been top priority on everyone's list. If a patient requests a same sex member of staff or a whole team (no reason is necessary) we would always try our best to accommodate, and explain before hand if this was not possible and give the patient the choice. Obviously emergencies are different. A patient should never be afraid to ask

No bloominnora male nurses do not find it difficult, we're talking about maybe ONE person refusing male carers on wards of about 30 - it's hardly hindering their professional experience. The reason they get promoted more is in my experience not because they try harder than the female applicants, but because FEMALE managers often treat the male nurses with preference so it is genuinely easier for them to move up - it's not that they want it more or because the ONE patient out of 30 odd asks for someone else

I wouldn't refuse any medical professional unless I felt they were incompetent. I understand people who do refuse, it is their right to do so, but for me personally; I couldn't give two hoots. The best medical professional I saw during my pregnancy and (traumatic) labour was a male midwife, who stayed by my side for the entire time, holding my hand and generally just being amazing.

respecting someone's dignity at some of the most vulnerable and frightening times of their life is hardly pandering handcream. And as discussed, it is entirely different from teaching in a school - schools don't, in my (admittedly rapidly fading) experience have processes and procedures which involve nudity, prodding of body parts, examination of bodily fluids.

And, as you will see from upthread and the posts of numerous HCPs, the NHS can and does concern itself with this

I am a gynae theatre nurse and as stated previously, we will try, where possible, to meet the patients requests regarding gender.
The vast majority of our gynaecologists and also obstetricians are still male though.

Bloody hell, Handcream , aren't you delightful - I sincerely hope you don't work in the health or caring professions. Why should a rape victim be treated as a nuisance or made to wait for months because she can't cope with a man treating her intimately?

poster smellysocksandchickenpox

What a crock of shit my husband has just been promoted

And he was one of two people that went for the job the other was a male the reason is because many of his female nurses don't want to work the extra hours he often will do 60 hours a month extra in overtime he's on call two weekends out of four and if any one is sick of can't deal with their on call he has to take over most women have families and don't want it

Its not just in promotions but also when it comes to rota requests too, OP most male nurses are the first to admit this themselves (and there is a flip side of being always asked to help with jobs that require "strength".

Give me a break with your "women don't want promotions cause they have families" nonsense - please!

Most student nurses (not all but most) train before they have families - yet by the time they have families (years later) they are still generally bellow the grade that the male nurses they trained with get to MUCH quicker - now by then you can imagine they might be feeling demoralised when it comes to ANOTHER promotion comming up that is likely to go to a male nurse, but don't kid yourselves that the female new grads don't start off ambitious and keen to do what it takes to progress! Or is nursing only a stop gap till finding a nice doctor and having babies still?

I worked for many years at a hospital where nurses were only allowed to catheterise patients of their own gender. This was to promote dignity and respect to our patients.

One day a man needed catheterising and 3 male doctors performed the procedure. Unfortunately it didn't occur to any of the Drs to replace his foreskin afterwards, until I reminded them. Patients have a right to request male or female staff, but dignity and respect is rarely a gender issue.

Smellysocks you are absolutely right and your comments chime with my own experiences.

Blooming I think you are trying to have your cake and eat it. You might say that you agree women have the right to choose the gender of their carer, but then you go on to blame that choice for wider gender inequality. By claiming that it's a choice with negative consequences you are blaming women for how they feel.

The patient's rights are paramount and male nurses fee-fees shouldn't come in to it.

Intimate personal care is an important part of patient care, but it's not the be all and end all, there are plenty of other things nurses do.

I don't think the comparison to women working in schools is helpful. This isn't the case of people wanting same-sex carers because they think people of the opposite are 'lesser' or incompetent. This is about preserving people's comfort and dignity in intimate situations. You might as well ask why don't the male PE teachers supervise the female students in the changing rooms and showers. How many people would go along with that?

This was my arms after three female nurses failed to get a needle into me during giving birth. The male nurse that did it was fantasic. Apparently I informed him he couldn't be female cause had a beard.

Being a man doesn't make you better at something though. If the fourth nurse who managed to treat you successfully was female you wouldn't be putting down to which genitalia they possess.

I don't think there is a male equivalent of this, at least not where women's health and childbirth is concerned. In general medicine, maybe there is, but women have been historically abused/repressed/not taken seriously in medicine and I totally understand why some women would prefer to be seen by women physicians.

I don't see why it is thought of as odd or unusual, or why it's cause for concern to anyone. No decent nurse or medic would take the request of a patient to see someone of their own gender personally, surely? So why is it an issue.

There's a sort of reverse psychology in some posters on this thread in that the male nurse is automatically better because he is, in this scenario, the minority - which is both bullshit and a bizarre way of thinking.

Just because some male nurses are fantastic doesn't mean they all are, and vice versa for the female practitioners.

I needed an operation in a delicate area - not GYN, but as near as dammit - I asked for a chaperone when the male junior dr wanted to examine me, and a district nurse in the community (on Xmas Day!) needed to change the dressing.

The male nurse was one of the best I saw (and I saw a lot with daily dressing changes), partly because he'd had the same problem a number of years previously.

I wouldn't mind a male midwife in labour (when I went to the labout ward for a post-birth debrief, the kindness of a male midwife on duty nearly had me in tears) - but if it was in the community or for an intimate exam, I would be very unwilling to see an unspecialised male practitioner.

It doesn't matter whatsoever if YOU saw a male nurse who was the new mother (or father?) Teresa! that's not the point! most people who refuse male carers don't do so thinking they won't be clinically able or generally nice people, they do so because they don't want a man, nice or otherwise, doing intimate care! Really the people posting about how they saw a male nurse and he was frickin awesome just don't get it at all which is sad

Male nurses aren't more likely to be better or worse, they have the same spectrum of personalities as female nurses. AND it's not even about that!