Who is right? Child seeing animal die.

[Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses]

Interesting one maybe? This came up today and I'm not sure if my immediate reaction was correct.

DH and 2 year old DS were outside. We live on a farm and I can see the stock yard from the house.
Every morning DS goes with DH to help feed etc.

This morning they'd been out an hour or so and come back into the yard. Suddenly I heard a gunshot. I looked out and DH had shot a sick (dying) calf. DS was watching.

When they came in I said that I didn't think it had been appropriate for DS to watch the calf being shot and could he not do it again.
DH said that he disagreed, it's better for DS to learn about this kind of thing from an early age, rather than be sheltered until he's 10 and then get a shock.
I can see his point, but wondered what others thought?

I still don't know what I think. DS was spectacularly un-bothered btw.

Agree with you - he's far too young and won't understand why his dad killed an animal.

I would be more concerned at my 2 year old being near or seeing guns used. I hope they are locked up after use?

I don't know who is 'right' and personally I'd rather not watch such a thing, but I wouldn't stop my kids from watching if they were curious.

I'm with your DH really but I would have expected him to let me know in case I wanted to object IYKWIM.

I think dh is right, especially as ds wasn't bothered

I'm only surprised that he's got to 2 without seeing an animal killed if you farm??

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest, my grandparents had a small holding and my grandad was a butcher with his own shop. Cycle of life. Also, my dad kept guns and target shot for sport, I was allowed to have a go when I was 13. I was very respectful of his guns as weapons and they were securely stored etc. Neither thing made me a sociopath. I agree with your DH.

Hhmm it depends to what extent your son understands life on a working farm, is he aware of animals sent to slaughter?

Pretty harsh introduction given most parents won't entertain this being shown on a television screen - but its impossible for anyone to judge as we don't know your son and circumstances fully.

I'm with your DH sorry...

To clarify - guns are all fully legal and locked away securely when not in use. DS was not in danger from the gun.

I asked DH how he explained it to him and he said he hadn't, he'd just gotten on with it then they'd gone to feed somewhere else. I actually think this is ok? As how would you explain it at that age? You can't say 'the calf was ill so we shot it' as DS will be terrified of illness.

Gosh, what a can of worms I've unearthed......

Agree with your dh.

Part and parcel of life on a farm, and far better for it to be "one if those things" than be sheltered and him to be upset in 8 years time.

It's a different life on a farm, and the responses you get on here aren't necessarily going to appreciate that.

I didn't grow up on a farm, but did spend a lot of time on one as a child as my uncle is a farmer, and we'd go there during school holidays.

For what it's worth, I agree with your DH.

My DB and I, aged a bit older than your DC (c. 5 and 7), saw a sheep being slaughtered by having its throat cut. What happens after the throat is cut is pretty graphic. We had no warning, and if I'd seen it now as an adult I actually think I'd be pretty traumatised, but we took it in our stride as kids.

For regular city kids, I'd say there was probably no need for them to see it, but for DC growing up on a farm, it probably is better to see it sooner rather than later, and accept it as part of the cycle of life.

I'm with your dh.

Shooting/euthanasia is a part of humane animal care and I don't think. Your ever to young to see that.

I suspect your DS didn't understand what happened. If you don't feel like explaining death right now, just don't.

I just feel that children and guns don't mix. Not ever. I feel that even when the handler is very experienced there is a tiny percentage of risk on the table which isn't worth taking. What if something went wrong?

In your position that would be my concern not my son seeing the death of an animal.

I think your DH was right and the fact your DS wasn't bothered proves him right.

Im not sure I think Im with your husband on this but I can really see your point about him not understanding the why and whatfors I guess its farm life and animals will die or be killed occasionally and your son will need to get used to it.

I think it is fine - grew up with farming.

The 'don't let a child see a gun, is it legal, is it locked up, etc., etc., is ridiculous - shows a huge lack of understanding. It is a farm.

Anyway, I moved away from home after uni but remember taking one of our cats to be pts. Took my four year old with me - when we got home she ran to my husband "Dad, Dad, mummy took lavendercat to the vets and now she is dead, do you think she is a skeleton yet?, can we check?"

I think it is part of life living on a farm. At 2 your DS probably didn't register what was happening properly anyway but he will grow up understanding that is how things work.

There is little point trying to 'cover up' how things like that work IMO especially if it is something he will be exposed to as he grows up

What sirzy said I don't think you r son understood that gun means dead

mrswinnabago your post made me laugh. Of course, farmers are well renowned for their illegal gun ownership and the fact that they leave them laying around for children to play with. Of course, OP wouldn't be worried about that but more worried about her DS seeing an animal die. . More children are killed in cities by blind cords, you know that yes?

OP, I'm with your DH although understand your view. My parents are farmers (not cattle) and this was part and parcel although rare so probably unlikely to happen again soon

I agree with your DH too, sorry! I was brought up on a farm in Oz and being the precocious little bugger I was, can remember at that age understanding.

Mrs Winnebago-agree totally but also agree that kids shouldn't be sheltered from animals dying. Kids and guns though? No way.

I grew up on a farm, and agree that for children who grow up on farms it's something best handled as early as possible. There's no avoiding it, so normalise it.

I agree with your DH. My DD is 3 and would be fine with that - just with a lot of questions.

Slightly different, but both my DDs (3 and 5yo) wanted to be there when our cat was put to sleep a couple of months ago. We told them that he wasn't going to get better and it was kinder to do this than let him die in pain. They were fine with it, apart from missing him now that he's gone.