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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people take marriage lightly nowadays?

125 replies

amotherfuckingquiche · 05/09/2014 23:23

When I was young(er), if you got married, you stayed married (pretty much). I see so many divorces now and people seem to treat marriage so lightly, "let's give it a go, if it doesn't work out then we can always get divorced...". I'm not suggesting that you stay with someone who cheats one you constantly or abuses you, please don't mistake me. I just think that it's sad.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 05/09/2014 23:24

I don't see a problem, personally. And I've never been divorced.

StampyIsMyBoyfriend · 05/09/2014 23:26

Yabu. It's having babies that people take lightly.

Mouthfulofquiz · 05/09/2014 23:26

It is sad but I think that the opportunity for people to be happy is more important in the long run. Whether that is remaining in a marriage or not. To err is human and all that...

Fairylea · 05/09/2014 23:27

I think most people still get married with the intention of it being forever, they are just less likely to stay unhappily married. Personally I think that's a good thing.

(Twice divorced).

gordyslovesheep · 05/09/2014 23:28

how old are you OP

I was raised by a divorcee in 1974 ...

Marriage is a commitment but it's not a life sentence - I am glad to be divorced

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 05/09/2014 23:28

Ive never heard anyone say that!

Personally im glad I married in this day and age when divorce is so much more socially acceptable. Its scary to think how many bad/violent marriages continued for decades purely to "save face".

Original poster
amotherfuckingquiche · 05/09/2014 23:28

I totally agree that too many people have sex without thought of the consequence. It's horrendous.

OP posts:
MrsWolowitz · 05/09/2014 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PacificDogwood · 05/09/2014 23:28

I think it's a symptom, not the disease.

SoonToBeSix · 05/09/2014 23:28

See that's the problem mouthful. People think their own happiness is paramount. It isn't.
Yanbu op.

basgetti · 05/09/2014 23:29

I feel the opposite. I am pleased that people, particularly women, have more freedom to leave bad marriages these days.

PenisesAreNotPink · 05/09/2014 23:29

I think people are more likely to have babies casually than get married casually.

Divorce is very difficult and adversarial the vast majority of the time. It's really traumatic too.

TinCanSally · 05/09/2014 23:29

I don't know anyone who has got married with the attitude you've just described, really I don't - and that includes those who are now divorced.

Original poster
amotherfuckingquiche · 05/09/2014 23:30

Not so long ago, marriage was (and in my book still is) a covenant between two people and God.

OP posts:
PinkSquash · 05/09/2014 23:30

It's about having choices.

PedlarsSpanner · 05/09/2014 23:31

I don't know of any one or any couple who have said "...we can always get divorced"

I think it's rather tip top that a married couple can divorce relatively easily. Not like them old days when you had to admit to a matrimonial offence for example

gordyslovesheep · 05/09/2014 23:32

I totally agree that too many people have sex without thought of the consequence. It's horrendous I can't see who you are agreeing with there but I disagree 100%

sex can be fucking wonderful without needing to be anything other than sex

I married the love of my life - for life - he left me when our youngest was 8mths old - his choice - not mine

so really STFU with your judgy attitude

PedlarsSpanner · 05/09/2014 23:32

Oh wait, you have an Agenda

Silly me

I'm offski

gordyslovesheep · 05/09/2014 23:33

oh and God had fuck all to do with my marriage - I was married by Elvis Grin

again HOW OLD ARE YOU op? because I am 44 and this 'not so long ago' bollox doesn't wash with me at all

WorraLiberty · 05/09/2014 23:33

I don't think it's sad unless there are children involved

And even then, parents split whether they got married or not.

I agree that people seem to have babies far more casually than they would enter into a marriage.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 05/09/2014 23:33

Errr....only to those who believe in a God.

Fairylea · 05/09/2014 23:33

Feel like I've stepped into some 1950s version of mumsnet.....

HauntedNoddyCar · 05/09/2014 23:34

Have you been reading sleb mags?

thereturnofshoesy · 05/09/2014 23:35

oh ffs

WorraLiberty · 05/09/2014 23:36

Also, when I look at the Golden/Diamond anniversary congratulations in my local paper...I often look at the photo and think "Yes, but were you really happy or was it that you dared not divorce because it wasn't the done thing?"

I probably think like that because I'm 45yrs old and come from a very large Irish Catholic family, where for the generations before me, divorce was an absolute NO...no matter what hell the couples (usually the women) were being put through.