To think that BIL and SIL are being irresponsible and reckless. RANT

[trufflehunterthebadger]

BIl and Sil live with us. They pay a low rent, this was to make a bit of money back for us but also to help them save for a deposit on a house and their wedding.

They have been with us a year. In that time they have not saved a single penny, although they have bought plenty of lego, toy trains, golf clubs, camping equipment and other tut that never sees the light of day. Bil spent £200 on golf clubs after one golf lesson about 9 months ago. He's not been since. They are always ordering shite off ebay. Sil confirmed the othe day that they haven't saved anything for their wedding in march - which they are paying for themselves fuck knows how now as they used sils savings oaying off bils debts

Anyway, while this annoyed me, i can put up with it, DH and i roll our eyes and let them get on with it.

Yesterday they decided they are going to get a new car. They have ordered and paid a deposit on the new car. DBIL earns about £25k a year, SIL about £8k.

The car they have ordered is a top of the range ford at a cost of £26k. They can only afford this because we let them live with us cheap so they can save money. The repayments alone are nearly £500 per month.

AIBU to think WTAF and actively considering telling them if they can afford a £26k car they can bloody well pay me more than £200 a month for all bills and food ? It doesn't happen often but i was absolutely speechless when dh told me

Your students aren't family. I'm not convinced your council is applying HMO rules correctly. You are running a B&B.

Three hundred quid a month between them for a suite of rooms for their sole use when a bedsit/"studio" costs 350 means they are getting a bloody bargain. They would have to pay C Tax and utilities on top of the rent as well.

I dunno why some posters appear to have an axe to grind and seem determined to paint the OP as some grasping ruddy Rigsby. The OP has said that she and her OH are well-aware of the HMO rules, so just bloody let it go! it's got fuck all to do with her issues with a couple of spongers.

£300 a month for a couple of rooms and a shared kitchen in a house with SEVEN other people is not a bargain.

And the OP said herself on her last thread that "The money from the students /bil means we basically live rent free as the income pays the rent."

That is a direct quote from her.

The OP is coming at this from the point of view that she is doing the BIL/SIL a massive favour - I would love to see the thread from the BIL/SIL point of view.

It's got nothing to do with the OP what the BIL/SIL are spending their money on. SHe has admitted herself that the reason they her DH doesn't want to boot them out is because they need the £300 from them. It doesn't exactly sound as though anyone else would be banging down their door to pay £300 for a couple of rooms and a shared kitchen while the OP lives rent free and pats herself on the back for doing them a massive favour.

Some people just seem to be far too aggressive truffle, if it works for you and it's legal no worries. But are family members taking the piss? Only you can decide and you must!!

morethan, what the rent is depends on where the house is, and what condition its in. 25 years ago (yes, that's right, TWENTY-FIVE years ago) I paid £220 a month for ONE single room in a shared house, plus a tenner a week to cover bills. It was a nice house, newly refitted, but the bathrooms were shared and so was the kitchen, and the occupants came and went at all hours. Back in those days, we all shared the one phone.

So from that perspective, £300 pcm NOW for a couple of rooms and a bathroom sounds a bloody bargain.

OP, your BIL and SIL don't know they're born.

And the OP said herself on her last thread that "The money from the students /bil means we basically live rent free as the income pays the rent."

So what. £500 a month for rent, all bills and food is a bloody bargain.

I was paying £650 ten years ago just for rent in a two bed flatshare.

I was disputing this point, mehsmum:

"Three hundred quid a month between them for a suite of rooms for their sole use when a bedsit/"studio" costs 350 means they are getting a bloody bargain"

It's not just about the space it's about the privacy. The OP seems to think that because they have more space than in a bedsit it is therefore a more 'expensive' set up.

Not if you've got 9 people crammed into a 5 bedroom house which is how the OP describes the set up on a previous thread.

Well if privacy is a concern they can move out. Of course their bills and food will be considerably more than £200

SO what Littlebear?

That comment was a direct response to this:

"you seem to be missing the point. OP is not using them as a cash cow, she only has them living with her to enable them to have nice cheap rent and save for their futures. They aren't doing this."

A poster said she only has them living to fulfil their needs. This is clearly not the case.

I don't know or actually much care the ins and outs of this situation, except to say that the OP is presenting a very one-sided account.

She has said herself that the situation was set up to benefit BOTH parties, and yet some people are determined to see it as a favour the OP is doing out of the goodness of her own heart when she has expained that this isn't the case

If the OP has an issue with the rent she is charging then she should deal with that - not poke her nose into what other grown adults in the house are spending their money on.

2/5 of the bedrooms is 2/5 of the rent surely

So it should be £500 plus bills but she should only charge the students £250 per room

maddening Fri 05-Sep-14 22:11:28
2/5 of the bedrooms is 2/5 of the rent surely

Yes it probably should be, but the OP isn't paying anything for her 2 rooms it seems?

So in fact the students are coughing up the vast majority of the rent living in a...can't be arsed to search but did you say a dining room converted into a triple bedroom?

I wanna see the thread from the students!

And the OP said herself on her last thread that "The money from the students /bil means we basically live rent free as the income pays the rent.

For me that puts a different view on it tbh

I haven't read the thread properly. But I get the gist.

OP it's nothing to do with you how they spend their money. They are adults ok.

If you think they are not contributing enough financially then have a normal grownup talk with them as to where you believe the shortfall lies.

Work out the food thing. If it's unfair, separate the two families. They have a different lifestyle to you. That's all.

Stop complaining about everyone around you. It all brings bad feeling for everyone.

Its pretty common for families to be host families for. foreign language student in south coast towns. They are secondary school ageand are out at lessons, trips and have activities in the eve. They are really only there for meals and sleeping. Its not like a house share. The families get paid per night.

But like the op said, they only have students in the summer

I wanna see the thread from the students!

Thank you really so much for yours ospitation. Yours family it's the best in the World , you're really beautiful people. I loved Hastings because it was a nice city , but i had love my learn holiday also to you. I and my family thank you

^i am yi, the short hair one.sorry for the lating mail.thank for your care.it's the best journey of my life.
in the last day,my leader even cried because of us,it reminds her about her journey.the another leader also think that is touching.haha
whatever,i am glad of i can meet you.i am so happy of that i met you^

We got evaluated by our students out of a possible 65 (exceptional hosts). We have been given an award for the best new host family. Four of the students are coming back next year to stay. Every single one of them said their friends were very jealous of their packed lunches and the nice house they were staying in. o i suspect a student thread would be very positive

I'm sure our local council would be enthralled to hear that someone on mumsnet doesn't think they understand the HMO regulations very well. Especially as it is a student town with plenty of deprivation and a very high volume of HMOs so the planning office deals with plenty of applications. For your information, hosting shortterm language students classifies you as a "homestay" as long as certain conditions apply, which they do for us.

We do not have 9 people in the house, we had 9 people for 2 months in the summer. Our students were all under the age of 16 and out from 9am until 10pm apart from a break in the afternoon. So not really too much of an impact on BIL and SIL actually.

We live in a very large edwardian house, our dining room is about 22 by 15 so accomodating 3 students in 1 bunk bed and 1 single really no hardship for them

We do not have 9 people in the house, we had 9 people for 2 months in the summer.

So you did have 9 people in the house and will again.

Only on MN would a thread about lazy arse relatives freeloading off the OP turn into a debate about the tax implications of hosting foreign language students.

We so need a facepalm smiley

People not from Hastings / Bexhill are a bit ignorant about what constitutes a HMO. We know the rules as students are the main industry!

(grew up with 4 students in the house every summer)

Ffs language students are not like normal tenants, they get breakfast at a set time, they are out all day then they go to bed. When I was a kid I was usually sharing a bathroom with 2 of them and still never saw them except at dinner! So poor, poor bil and sil are not really being put out. I am in part of a similar property. - If ops house is anything like where I live 9 people would be rattling around in there!! Hastings has loads of massive old houses, they are not your modern shoebox... they have huge windows, high ceilings, and loads of floor space.

They are getting a bit of a deal on the rent!!

A decent 1 bed flat would be 450, for one with a separate kitchen and living room up to 475. Can't get a decent room in a house for less than 400pcm - that's for ONE person with bills but no food.

Op you are very tolerant I would have probably slapped someone by now.

Language students aren't tenants. They come under a completely different set of rules to tenants or sub tenants. They receive food, laundry services, in many cases, transport. They are paying guests, not tenants.
I don't think that the amount the bil and SIL are paying is that terrible, if they were decent, respectful sharers. Sadly they are lazy gits and that's the point. The benefit gained by them living there is outweighed by the inconvenience of them being terrible housemates so time to say goodbye maybe. Or rewrite the house rules. I doubt the OP would be bothered about them buying a new car if they were nice housemates and everything ticked along nicely.

wonky : Op you are very tolerant I would have probably slapped someone by now.
I second that.

trufflehunter sod the lunatics, here and in your house.

Is BIL really still using your lounge... and bringing his guests too? I suspect you are going to have to do it at some point - have that conversation that tells them how disappointed you are that they cannot respect your boundaries.

And stop cooking for them, let them spend the new car money on take aways again