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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that BIL and SIL are being irresponsible and reckless. RANT

123 replies

trufflehunterthebadger · 05/09/2014 18:57

BIl and Sil live with us. They pay a low rent, this was to make a bit of money back for us but also to help them save for a deposit on a house and their wedding.

They have been with us a year. In that time they have not saved a single penny, although they have bought plenty of lego, toy trains, golf clubs, camping equipment and other tut that never sees the light of day. Bil spent £200 on golf clubs after one golf lesson about 9 months ago. He's not been since. They are always ordering shite off ebay. Sil confirmed the othe day that they haven't saved anything for their wedding in march - which they are paying for themselves fuck knows how now as they used sils savings oaying off bils debts

Anyway, while this annoyed me, i can put up with it, DH and i roll our eyes and let them get on with it.

Yesterday they decided they are going to get a new car. They have ordered and paid a deposit on the new car. DBIL earns about £25k a year, SIL about £8k.

The car they have ordered is a top of the range ford at a cost of £26k. They can only afford this because we let them live with us cheap so they can save money. The repayments alone are nearly £500 per month.

AIBU to think WTAF and actively considering telling them if they can afford a £26k car they can bloody well pay me more than £200 a month for all bills and food ? It doesn't happen often but i was absolutely speechless when dh told me

OP posts:
Original poster
trufflehunterthebadger · 05/09/2014 19:24

The financial situation is complicated. We rented a large house so we could have students, then bil and sil's rent was massively increased so it was mutually beneficial at the time.

However, we could now use their rooms for students and realise more than we do from them. Unfortunately DH is resolutely against getting involved as he doesn't want to lose the £300 a month.

OP posts:
StackladysMorphicResonator · 05/09/2014 19:25

Personally I'd ask for more money per month - what they're paying you can't be covering all their food and bills, there's no way I could feed two adults on £50 per week never mind council tax, electricity and gas. I suggest you ask them to buy their own food at least since I doubt you're actually making much, if any, money off this arrangement!

Original poster
trufflehunterthebadger · 05/09/2014 19:26

Fairylea i wish they paid £700. They pay £300 rent and £200 housekeeping. I have posted about the situation before as it pisses me off, they treat the house like a hotel. Bil moaned the other day when dh asked him to lay the table becuas he was "tired"

OP posts:
weatherall · 05/09/2014 19:26

Kick em out.

Original poster
trufflehunterthebadger · 05/09/2014 19:27

Yes, they were always planning on living with us for 2-3 years. I did mot realise how bone idle they were until they moved in. Should have done really because their bedsit was always a shitehole

OP posts:
everynameisbloodytaken · 05/09/2014 19:27

To be honest it sounds like you a teeny bit jealous of their new car...
especially as you're saving the money they give you...
don't cut off your nose to spite your face Wink Wink

henrysmate · 05/09/2014 19:27

So you're their parents now?

StackladysMorphicResonator · 05/09/2014 19:27

Oops, didn't refresh the page and realise you were getting more than £200.

taxi4ballet · 05/09/2014 19:28

You know that you should be paying Income Tax on rental income don't you??? When you take that into account, they are paying you even less than you think!

Where are they going to live after the wedding?

Fairylea · 05/09/2014 19:28

Deary me that's even worse.

Are they moody teens?! They sound it.

StackladysMorphicResonator · 05/09/2014 19:28

But still, £200 housekeeping is ridiculously low!

everynameisbloodytaken · 05/09/2014 19:29

sorry... x posted about making more money from students.

WooWooOwl · 05/09/2014 19:29

Up their rent.

Original poster
trufflehunterthebadger · 05/09/2014 19:30

Bil complained the other day that i was rude because i kicked them and the guest they were entertaining in our lounge out to their own ! BIL is a spoilt little mummy's boy who is used to getting his own way. At 30 it's a farce

He moaned oneday that the stairs were dirty, DH told him to hoover them. He then said he had only done half because the lead didnt go any further (3 storey house). It didn't occur to him to unplug it

OP posts:
Original poster
trufflehunterthebadger · 05/09/2014 19:31

To be honest it sounds like you a teeny bit jealous of their new car...

Ok

OP posts:
pootlebug · 05/09/2014 19:32

Taxi4ballet - you can rent out a room or rooms in your own house, tax-free, up to rental income of £4,250 per year. You're only taxed on anything above that.

Original poster
trufflehunterthebadger · 05/09/2014 19:32

It feels like it henrysmate. We refer to them as "the children"

OP posts:
Original poster
trufflehunterthebadger · 05/09/2014 19:33

They are family members contributing to the rent, we would not have to pay tax. They are part of the household

OP posts:
Fairylea · 05/09/2014 19:34

Tell them to go and sleep in the car.

There's taking the pee and there's attaching a catheter to multiple people and then attaching that to a henry hoover.

Their attitudes are awful, let alone the fact they pay such low living costs.

Original poster
trufflehunterthebadger · 05/09/2014 19:36

They are planning to move out in 3 years when sil has finished her degree (if she stays on the course) then start a family. They will have a fucking heart attack when they get their reality check

OP posts:
phantomnamechanger · 05/09/2014 19:37

she's not jealous of their new car! she thinks they are being completely reckless with their money and is worried she'll never get shot of them because they are not saving up like they should be. So many young couples would jump at a leg-up like this, and they don't even seem grateful!
Too tired to set the table indeed - ah diddums - I assume they are planning on saving enough for a cook, maid and butler too then?

FoodieToo · 05/09/2014 19:38

Is it bit a case that you are all renting the house together ? As opposed to that they rent from you?

You don't own the house do you?mso it's just like a group of people sharing a house.

Why aren't you all responsible for your own food?

RiverTam · 05/09/2014 19:38

chuck them out and get in students, if that was the original plan. Lay it clearly on the line: "we were happy to help you save for a deposit and wedding, but as you haven't saved a penny towards either we are now subsidising your lifestyle (don't say you think you are subsidising it, present it as a fact, which it is - harder for them to argue with) which we can't afford to do, therefore we are giving you a month's notice and we are now looking for proper paying tenants for your room. If you wish to pay the proper amount (tell them what it is) we're happy for you to stay, otherwise that's it." And don't allow them to weasel out of any of it.

morethanpotatoprints · 05/09/2014 19:38

I don't think the OP sounds jealous of the new car, I'm sure she could have one on finance as well if she wanted to.
The fact is bil and sil haven't a pot to piss in but want to live the life of Riley and that's bad form.

With 2 almost grown sons our house rule is when you can afford a better car, better clothes and lifestyle than we can its time to leave home Grin
Ds1 has a better car than us, but he left home first, just. Grin

Nerf · 05/09/2014 19:43

If the tenancy is in your name are you actually allowed to have other adults living there permanently?

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