Opinions sought on birthday for 9 year old

[kathryng90]

Daughter going to be 9. Has requested build a bear party. We have agreed a budget of £16.50 per child. This will give each child a choice of basic bear plus outfit or more expensive bear with no outfit. Job done or so I thought. Partner has just announced that daughter will be allowed what she wants ie voice recording outfits etc. I say no she has same budget but can return after to buys some extras? Who is bu?!

What's the point in her returning after to buy the extras?

She's the birthday girl. I doubt the other kids would think it bad that she got a better bear.

I can see both points of view and don't think either of you are being unreasonable as such. However, is there some kind of compromise, such as buying outfits as birthday presents so that they will be waiting for your daughter when the party is over? When you say she can return later, do you mean go back on the same day once the party is finished or at a later date?

We are taking them for pizza after so I was intending to go back after pizza when friends gone home and letting her chose.

That seems reasonable if all the extras are things that can be added afterwards rather than stuff that needs to be done at the time (no idea how it works, so forgive my lack of knowledge!). That way she can have the fun of making one with her friends and still have the whole kit and caboodle to take home with her afterwards. Does your partner have a reason why they think that it should all be done at the party?

I think DD should have the same as her mates.

How about she gets a voucher as a surprise gift for the bear factory to be spent on another day. I don't think I would say she can have whatever she wants if the others have a budget, I think it might be a bit embarrassing for her if she has a bigger, better bear.

Agree with OP. Should be same budget for each child. We did that for DD's 8th birthday and had no complaints. But we did give higher amount as the cheapest standard size bears are £13.50 and even the T shirts are usually £4 or more - at least they are in our local one. But even if you can't stretch to a bit more am sure they will all have a great time including your DD.

If you want to let her have more I would actually give her voucher for use on later date as don't want others to feel they are missing out if she is going back for more.

I reckon you're being really generous with that budget for each child, I think all the guests will be chuffed to be invited to that party and 9 is old enough to understand that it's reasonable the birthday girl gets a more deluxe version. I don't think either of you are BU though, it's not an issue to fall out over and other posters have suggested some good compromise ideas.