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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be a it taken aback that one of dd's teachers has an apparent past in the adult film industry?

91 replies

saffronwblue · 02/09/2014 10:41

DD is 12 and this man is one of the English teachers. Everyone loves him. He is well known at the school for having an interest in film and running the film club. It is a widely held belief among the older girls that he directed a number of porn films. There is a director with his name and appropriate looking dates listed on the IMDB website with credits of dodgy looking movies. Private Anglican girls school.
If this is true and it is indeed him, WIBU to raise it with the principal? Or, as my DC insist, is it not relevant to his teaching ability? There is no whisper of anything untoward in his behaviour at school.

OP posts:

DownByTheRiverside · 02/09/2014 14:41

Considering new hobby of seeing how many interesting rumours I could secretly spread around about the surprising inner lives and hobbies of parents. Possibly there's a doctoral thesis in it...

wigglesrock · 02/09/2014 14:52

There were loads of rumours along these lines about teachers when I was in school, in the days before Google. I think one of our teachers was an ex Page 3 model, another had served time in jail, another had served in the Foreign Legion to avoid jail time, another had several affairs with parents, it was like a plot of Dynasty sometimes. None of them were true, well the Foreign Legion one had a sniff of truth. And as other posters have said the porn directors name is unlikely to be his real one.

Greengrow · 02/09/2014 15:09

Good for him.
None of our business
May not be him anyway
Leave well alone.

PiperRose · 02/09/2014 17:30

So you'd be happy to run the risk of him losing his job and reputation because of idle teenage gossips pondering the fact that he may/may not have worked in an entirely legal industry? It's people like you who make teaching such a horrible job to be in.

Sleepyhoglet · 02/09/2014 20:25

Possibly just the same name. Unfortunate for him but starts rumours

RedRoom · 02/09/2014 20:34

If he's directed adult films prior to teaching then surely that will have been on his CV. Anyway, it is all speculation, plus it is legal. Who is to say the head isn't a swinger at s&m sex parties? As long as he does his job as a teacher and everything is legal, you can't really object to him being allowed to change careers just because you find porn unpalatable.

Shahsham · 02/09/2014 20:41

Cos of this thread Ive just googled my name ( Im not on FB or twitter personally)

There are 36 'me' inthe UK apparently. Several FB accounts and twitter feeds. An artist. A couple of Americans and in 1802 a convict 'me' was shipped to Australia

As a child I went to the local GP who had the wrong file out. A little girl 2 years younger than me had the same first name (unusual) second name and surname as me! And lived minutes away from me.

Also, we have seen my (healthy and still alive) mum's obituary in the local newspaper: [my mum's name] wife of [my dad's name] from [our town] etc.

So to cut to the chase, its really not necessarily the same person!

Downamongtherednecks · 02/09/2014 21:44

If it IS the same person (and that's a big IF) then he has no place teaching children, let alone in an Anglican school which has a stricter moral code that teachers are expected to adhere to. The porn industry exploits and degrades women. Doesn't matter if it is legal. The attitudes to women exhibited by the porn industry are unacceptable and I wouldn't allow him near my children, neither would I be happy to sit down with him to discuss them. IF IT'S HIM! So the question is, how do you find out?

polkadotsrock · 02/09/2014 21:46

What if it's gay porn?

Beavie · 02/09/2014 21:51

I know teachers who have done or are still doing far worse than that!

afterthought · 02/09/2014 21:56

Just had a google of my name - really really really hope that neither students or parents think the top hit on Twitter for my name is actually me!

Downamongtherednecks · 02/09/2014 21:59

I'm not a fan of moral relativism. If a teacher is doing worse than contributing to an industry responsible for the degradation of women, human trafficking, and violent abuse, then they shouldn't be teaching either.

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 02/09/2014 22:05

According to google I am a lawyer, a ballet teacher, an accountant, a scientist and a politician in the USA and a few other things I forget now.

I am one of those - and even then, the one on google isn't me.

Find a grip and get it got.

LuluJakey1 · 02/09/2014 22:25

You should report it to the Headteacher. If there is any suspicion at all about any member of staff, schools staff are told to report it to the Head. It will be dealt with very discreetly and may well turn out to be silly rumour and gossip. If it is that is fine.

If it isn't, a school will then have a decision to make about whether it is a problem for them or if any rule has been broken or children put in a vulnerable position. He should have declared this to the Head on his application form- all past employment has to be declared. If he did not he has been dishonest.

You should report it. My MIL was Safeguarding Officer in a large secondary school and she said you should report it, definitely. People had concerns about Ian Huntley's past- they. knew he had used two names, someone had heard he had been in trouble with the police but they did not report it to the school because it seemed like nosiness and gossip and look at the outcomes. The policy in schools now is any concerns are reported- better they turn out to be nothing than no one reports them and they turn out to be something.

Pipbin · 02/09/2014 22:32

Yes, porn director's name is HIGHLY likely to be a stage name. In fact, if you were an adult film director with any thought of perhaps working with children in the future, would you really use your own name for the film directing?

Yes - I believe that when they told Mrs Dover she had a boy she decided to call him Ben. (did you know that Ben Dover is the father of Tyger Drew Honey from Outnumbered?)

So what if he did direct porn films, if he did at all. It is legal and grown people have been known to have sex before. It is a great worry that gossip and rumour could ruin someones career .

chilephilly · 02/09/2014 22:33

I'm a teacher.
If my head teacher had me in and told me they had been informed by a parent I was involved in porn I'd be taking legal advice, as the parent would have defamed my character.

Patsyandeddie · 02/09/2014 22:33

So what, he has done nothing wrong, it doesn't mean he's scouting for new stars does it!

Downamongtherednecks · 02/09/2014 22:43

Done nothing wrong? You are sadly misinformed about the impact of porn on human trafficking, abuse, and the channelling of drugs' money. IF it's him!

Pipbin · 02/09/2014 22:54

To be a teacher he must have had a clear CRB check. This doesn't prove much other than he's never been caught but it is a start.

ThatSmellsLikePoo · 02/09/2014 22:55

Rednecks - at this time he has done NOTHING wrong. If and when the rumour is established as fact then and only then need anyone start asking questions. Your views on the porn industry are utterly irrelevant at this time and in relation to this thread.

bluesbaby · 02/09/2014 23:05

Hah if that's who I think it is, he's fine, he's a great guy, you have nothing to worry about. Although he's actually English, mine. Is yours also from the UK?

On the other hand, if it isn't him (second initial K), then it is possible someone might have got mixed up. There's a porn star with the same name as me, and if you squint enough, we also bear a passing resemblance. It's not actually me though!

worridmum · 02/09/2014 23:25

why yes down lets also ban females that are/were strippers to fund their lifestyles at university as you will be damned sure there is atleast 1 female teacher in every school that has down such work and quite possibly you could even shock horror been friends with one (it is not as rare as you seem to think).

so your only doing the moral high ground because hes a man right you think that 100% of people in the porn industry were forced to be their right? there is countries in the world were prositution is actully legal and a damn good paying industry that is highly regulated to keep undeaserable elements out of it and allows for proper taxing of income (Austrilla if you think i am thinking of a third world nation which Austrilla certinly is not)

Downamongtherednecks · 02/09/2014 23:33

As I said each time, IF IF IF he is the same person. You may choose to believe the whole "happy hooker" myth if you like, along with the stripper phd student. It does not fit, sadly, with the published reports of the major NGOs and governmental institutions, for whom I work. Porn is a trade in human misery. So yes, that it something about which I will take the moral high ground because IF he has "directed films watched teens from the developing world being raped then he is not fit to be near children. IF it's him.

worridmum · 02/09/2014 23:42

I am sorry down but their are happy strippers you know and yes also PHD strippers I know 100% fact that their is as i am friends with several and experenced said PHD / undergrad strippers in university as I went to uni with several people studying medicne and law and teaching that worked 1 weekend every two weeks or so and made roughly £2000. (some worked more but I only really know the figures from 2 of my close uni friends that actully did it one was a pole dancer/ stripper and the other was a stripper/lap dancer.

You will be surpirsed just how many students actully are / were in that line of work down that are currently lawyers doctors / teachers people you wouldnt suspect in a million years that they were in that line of work (and majority used fake names to prevent people like you judging them

(sadly majorty are from poorer backgrounds that cannot afford to support them and the loans are rubbish amounts and with the higher work load courses nearly impossible to hold down a normal part time job)

Darkesteyes · 02/09/2014 23:49

Rumours like this must happen often at school Usually unfounded Tina Fey even wrote it into the plot of Mean Girls.

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