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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

year seven woes.worried sick as huge school

19 replies

mutternutter · 02/09/2014 09:49

D's starts tomorrow. Its a huge school with over 1500 kids. I have mh issues and worried sick whether I should walk him in or let him follow the crowd as close to dd infant school.cried when I saw kids going to his old primary this morning. Getting in a frenzy of worry and stress. Never felt this bad when he started infant or primary school.

OP posts:

MrsDavidBowie · 02/09/2014 09:51

Do not let him see you are worried or you will project your fears on to him.
Is he ok about tomorrow? Its normal for them to be apprehensive.
I don't know any parent who took child to school in yr 7....

ilovesooty · 02/09/2014 09:54

Let him walk and join in with his peers.
Don't let him be aware of your worries - they are yours, not his.

steppemum · 02/09/2014 10:03

ds started today.
I am more nervous for him than for any of mine starting primary, I think it is the size of the school, and knowing that they have to adjust to all the new teachers and subjects etc.

Let him walk. Is there anyone else he knows going? It helps to walk with someone.

It is a big step, but the schools are very good at supporting the new year 7s and help them make the change. hey have a gentle start, and they are well looked after.

Fiddlerontheroof · 02/09/2014 10:08

I took my child to school in year 7....this morning. I was very laid back, and kissed her goodbye at the gate. She was more than happy about that, no-one laughed or took the piss, or probably even noticed. She's never walked to school before, and has Cerebral Palsy...but can walk well. Tomorrow, she'll probably walk on her own, or I'll go to a certain point and then say bye. I'm not worried about her, well I am a bit, but I've not shown it to her.

If you want to walk him, do...but hang back at the gate, and say a breezy goodbye. If you can do that. I did see a couple of parents massively over fussing this morning, so whatever you do, don't do that!

Have you asked him what he wants?If he wants to walk alone, or with friends. I would let him, or just go part way. xx

ChippyMinton · 02/09/2014 10:21

Although the school is big, remember that he will be in a form of about 30, who will be doing everything together for the first few days. And in a Year group, and possibly a House, so at no point will he be one of 1500 fending for himself. The school will be trying to ensure the new intake find their feet :-)

What does he want to do about going to school tomorrow? Meet up with a mate to walk themselves, or have you go with him and leave at an ageed point? Let him guide you. And arrange something nice for yourself tomorrow so you don't spend the day fretting.

Alisvolatpropiis · 02/09/2014 10:33

I joined a massive high school. For the first week or so the year 7's went to lunch slightly earlier and finish classes slightly earlier so it was less of shock to the system.

It's surprising how long a week is when you're new to high school.

He will be fine, let him walk with friends.

I understand why you're nervous but be confident for him, outwardly at least, he will pick up on that and be confident in turn.

needanew · 02/09/2014 10:55

you will worry all day , he will come home , you will ask twenty odd questions he will reply it was ok , and for the next 5 years thats probably the only answer you will get about everything to do with school .

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 02/09/2014 11:00

^This^

Schools work very hard to make transition as smooth as possible. They know it's scary for pupils (&parents!) and will look after him.

Stinkle · 02/09/2014 11:17

I was really worried when my DD started year 7 last year (of course, I never let her know that) but she was actually fine.

Mine goes to a huge 1500 pupil school too, but, as others have said, it's divided up into 4 'houses', then into years, then each year is split into 4 forms.

It took a while to find her feet and she was utterly knackered but by Christmas she was an old pro.

Stinkle · 02/09/2014 11:18

As for getting there - she walks with friends. Gets up at the crack of dawn, leaves the house half an hour before she needs to and walks further than necessary, but she loves all the chatting with mates and walking in together

FernMitten · 02/09/2014 11:23

Ds's school is huge, I think 200+ in his year, divided into two sections. It's fine! I nearly didn't choose it because of the size but the school arrange everything brilliantly.

I think your ds will really like the difference of how grown up it all is and enjoy all the group moans about rules etc. Good luck tomorrow

(Any tips on how to get a 12yo now used to waking at midday, up at 6:30am tomorrow greatly appreciated )

Almostfifty · 02/09/2014 11:26

Does he not have a pal he can walk in with? Ask him what he wants you to do, not what you want to do.

He's starting to grow up now, you'll find things a lot different now he's at secondary school.

Original poster

mutternutter · 02/09/2014 21:28

Thanks for all advice.
Feeling much better now. D's will meet a group of mates at dd school and walk in with them with another parent keeping a discrete distance

OP posts:

BrianButterfield · 02/09/2014 21:31

I teach at a big school and y7s basically don't do anything on their own for the first week. A TA stays with the class and takes them to lessons, they go to lunch early on their own, they have buddies from further up the school and so on. They don't get in trouble for being late and people always stop to see if lost looking souls need help! We don't just shove them out of the tutor room door and say "off you go!"

Scholes34 · 02/09/2014 22:33

It's once your DC reach year 11 and beyond that you realise how well looked after the year 7s are by the school.

pointythings · 02/09/2014 22:37

Our secondary has vertical tutor groups so the Yr7s are in a form group with older kids who have been in the school for years - they 'buddy' the younger ones. It works well.

DD2 stars secondary on Friday, similar sized school - but one of her form group (starting Yr9) is DD1's best friend, whom DD2 knows very well. DD2, DD1 and friend will all walk to school together - she's a bit anxious about finding somewhere to refill her water bottles and getting lost, but there's no way the school will penalise a new Yr7 for getting lost at first ands he knows that.

Your DS will also be absolutely fine. And you're allowed to be a wreck about it, by the way. Chocolate helps.

ChippyMinton · 03/09/2014 20:28

mutternutter how did you both get on today?

TooOldForGlitter · 03/09/2014 21:39

It doesn't seem to be like this at my DDs new school. The form is a mix of kids from year 7 through to year 11 with only her and 3 other year 7's. They haven't been given a map of the school so are getting lost, they were sent to lunch with year 11 today so none of them could get a seat to eat their lunch and she's on her own every breaktime. I feel so sorry for her

HolgerDanske · 04/09/2014 13:38

He will be just fine. They are much more capable than we generally think and it's very important to give them opportunities to start building skills for independence.

((Hugs))

Hope it went well and that you can feel quietly confident on his behalf.

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