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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report friend to FB for photo of her blacked up?

960 replies

Greyhound · 31/08/2014 11:48

I'm really shocked - cousin of mine has pic of herself on Facebook blacked up. She is white. The picture is of her at a fancy dress party - she has covered her face in dark brown stage make up and is wearing an "Afro" wig and Rastafarian style striped hat.

Her husband is also blacked up.

OP posts:
ArabellaTarantella · 31/08/2014 13:12

Now tell me, how would you "dress up like a British person"?

Suit? Bowler Hat? Briefcase? Twin Set? Pearls? Posh voice? Grin

PhaedraIsMyName · 31/08/2014 13:13

Rabbit are you replying to me? If so it wasn't terribly helpful. This thread has already covered one poster who dressed as Jimi Hendrix and that on the whole was seen as ok.

OwlCapone · 31/08/2014 13:16

I think some people need to learn the difference between racist and racially offensive.

chimichangas · 31/08/2014 13:17

Traditionally when Othello was staged as he is (as per the title of the play) a 'Moor', the actor playing him would wear dark make up. So can we now only have black/mixed race actors playing Othello now as per the oh so PC guidance of this thread?

I went to a cowboys and Indians party recently. Some of the guests (both Asian and not) came in saris. Some of the men wore face paint and dreadlocks (as West Indians). There were a mix of races there and no-one was offended.

In answer to the original question, if FB permit graphic videos of beheadings etc I really don't think they'll do much about a photo which may or may not be inferred to be in some way racist.

McBear · 31/08/2014 13:17

Captain sinker Grin

PhaedraIsMyName · 31/08/2014 13:17

A "Scottish" person would be a kilt and a see you Jimmy ginger wig.

The general blacking up for the Caribbean party definitely wrong. Specifically dressing as a person of different gender/race if one is a fan of that person , not wrong.

Pepperwitheverything · 31/08/2014 13:20

Lorrie, it doesn't matter that drag was part of the underground gay movement. Women are the most oppressed group in history and men, whether gay or straight, sending us up as some kind of comedic, laughable creatures, is not acceptable. Just because the men are gay is meaningless...they were still more powerful than women.

Serenitysutton · 31/08/2014 13:20

It is racist. However I don't understand why reporting it to FB is your only method of redress and you can't even decide whether to do that. It smacks of needing to feel like you are doing something even though you aren't.

If you really cared you'd confront her, not worrying about getting evidence of her racism deleted from her FB page

CaptainSinker · 31/08/2014 13:21

I think it was acknowledged early on owl that people may behave in offensive of prejudiced ways without being a dyed on the wool combat 18 member, but I suppose "racist" is being used as a catch all for racist/racially offensive/racially prejudiced. Hopefully it is clear that people aren't being condemned forever for one or two misguided and ill informed actions.

PhaedraIsMyName · 31/08/2014 13:21

I went to a cowboys and Indians party recently. Some of the guests (both Asian and not) came in saris. Some of the men wore face paint and dreadlocks (as West Indians). There were a mix of races there and no-one was offended

I would have been very uncomfortable with this. Not the clothes, I love clothes and dressing up but the face paint is unnecessary.

Purpleroxy · 31/08/2014 13:22

OP your post shows exactly why we can't tackle racism properly. A lot of time is spent being offended by stuff that isn't racist. And whilst we do that, we let actual racism continue because we are so obsessed with sniffing out racism where it isn't present.

I would think that if your friend is genuinely racist and actually really hates black people that she would not want to dress up as a black person.

CaptainSinker · 31/08/2014 13:22

Fucking iPad stop changing random words!

McBear · 31/08/2014 13:22

Going back... White chicks was 100 per cent not racist and very funny. Snoop dogg/lion/zilla did raise a little chuckle.

I think this is because I know being white does not mean I am that stereotype. Some white people are like that. Some are not. People do not think I am like white chicks because I am white with blonde hair from seeing white chicks. It would be nice if people didn't assume all black people were x y or z from seeing one black person. I think that's the difference between now and the 60s. People understand we are all unique.

UrbaneLandlord · 31/08/2014 13:23

Is Eddie Murphy being racist in this scene?

(He's the old bloke with the hat on.)

ScarlettlovesRhett · 31/08/2014 13:23

Yes, report it to Facebook - they leave all sorts of other truly horrendous shit on there, but someone going to a fancy dress party is equal in all its racist glory to the current Rotherham stuff, beheading by fanatics, the historic racist atrocities throughout the US and UK against blacks etc etc

I, personally, think that 'blacking up' is unnecessary and I am aware that it has the power to make someone feel lesser or parodied - I wouldn't do it and I would explain to my children etc why I don't think they should either, but I would not report someone as racist purely for blacking up.

Was that really what you believed to be the best course of action op? Did it not occur to you that a PM to your friend, or a comment might be a more proportionate course of action?

jollygoose · 31/08/2014 13:24

yabu - gosh you really don`t like your cos do you? You have made yourself sound like a rather spiteful sneak.

lorriehearts · 31/08/2014 13:25

Pepper I agree - as I said, I'm not a fan of drag at all; I find it really problematic for the reasons you give. However, it's not seen as being on a par with blackface - when I've asked why not, the oppression of gay men has been one of the reasons I've been given. It's not a reason that fully convinces me, but I can't deny gay men are more of an oppressed group than white people.

lorriehearts · 31/08/2014 13:26

(obviously that being a simplistic view and not taking into account various intersections etc.)

StormCloudsGathering · 31/08/2014 13:36

I'm shocked at how many people are supporting this! Feel like I've fallen into some strange time warp and found myself in 1960s Alabama! I've always thought mumsnet was a fairly tolerant place, had no idea there were so many bigots.

Of course it's bloody racist, read the bloody wikipedia article, google it, read a book, educate yourself - there's no excuse for ignorance of the historical context. Here's an article to start you off, or here especially in the comments.

And to the poster saying how black Americans are now in the majority and a black president means racism is no longer an issue, again, do yourself a favour - look up the statistics of the prison populations in the US, or access to healthcare or google Ferguson/Michael Brown or any number of issues.

Even if after reading all this you STILL think blackface is appropriate (?!?!) you should at least have grasped that a lot (hopefully the majority) of people do so how about going as one of the 8 million other costume ideas instead rather than picking one that you know makes people uncomfortable? If you insist on doing it despite being aware of the historical context then I'm going to assume you do have a racist motive.

Original poster
Greyhound · 31/08/2014 13:37

OP here - what about Glastonbury banning Native American style feathered head dresses as they are offensive due to cultural appropriation!

OP posts:
Original poster
Greyhound · 31/08/2014 13:40

By the way, I contacted my cousin and told her that people might find the pic offensive... She hasn't replied, so either she hasn't got my message or I've really pissed her off Confused

I didn't report it, I think that would be unkind.

OP posts:
Owllady · 31/08/2014 13:42

You and me both storm, I'm quite aghast people do not understand or aren't aware of the historical racially motivated connotations to 'blacking up'
:(

It's has nothing at all to do with dressing up, dressing up is fine. Blacking up is incredibly emotive and symbolic

Username12345 · 31/08/2014 13:45

StormCloudsGathering

I was shocked too but now I've had time to reflect maybe I was wrong to be shocked.

Racist things I've seen some MN users defend:

Golliwogs - They're just toys.
Pakis - It's just an abbreviation for Pakistani.
Chinky and the paki shop - local colloquialism. It's ok because it's not directed at a person.

Owllady · 31/08/2014 13:46
Shock
Serenitysutton · 31/08/2014 13:50

I am also gobsmacked at how many people don't seem to know blacking up is racist. And it IS- it's not a matter of opinion. You wouldn't go around saying the N word isn't racist because you don't think it is would you?

And what's with the constant what about-itus?
What about Anjelica Jolie
What about dressing up as an Indian
What about Eddie Murphy
What about white chicks

Sure they all merit a discussion in their own way but they are not what this thread is about. Constant what about- itus doesn't prove your point OR add any weight to your argument