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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report friend to FB for photo of her blacked up?

960 replies

Greyhound · 31/08/2014 11:48

I'm really shocked - cousin of mine has pic of herself on Facebook blacked up. She is white. The picture is of her at a fancy dress party - she has covered her face in dark brown stage make up and is wearing an "Afro" wig and Rastafarian style striped hat.

Her husband is also blacked up.

OP posts:
itsbetterthanabox · 01/09/2014 14:40

Lol at reporting snowing for calling you racist. Is that a joke?

ZuluInJozi · 01/09/2014 14:42

sorry 'brutal'

tazzle22 · 01/09/2014 14:48

I would like to just offer a thought form someone old enough to have played innocently with a golliwog / collected gollys from jam jars as a very young child and who then saw the minstrels on tv and did not actually know the singers were not black. I had never seen anyone in person not caucasion then ( don't worry, it did not scar me ... I grew up to regard all people no matter skintone as just people as long as they were nice lol and thought my mums suggestion I marry a bf from WI to annoy the racist neighbours almost as racist !)

Would it be disingenious / insulting to ignore skin tone when dressing in the manner of another culture ( caveat that its not a drunken party with people mocking other cultures !) if celebrating a culture not ones own. Could it be viewed that I for example was viewing my “superior” pink skin as not needing altered and was better than say a darker skinned person who wears traditionally a sari or African tribal dress.

Subtly altering ones skin tone is very different from blacking up aka the boot polish black with white lips / eyes as a parody ( no one has said how the cousin has altered skin tone) ….. or making fun of stereotypes at a drunken party. I am Scottish and the stereotype of my heritage is a drunken, whiskey swilling, string vested, kilted man with wild orange hairy body yelling “Och aye the noo” or singing Flower of Scotland. Some scots may indeed have some of those traits, its how stereotypes come into being……. but its racist to poke fun at or believe that all scots look like and behave like this. I would not put boot polish on my face to parody a Jamaican as the cousin in the post but one cannot escape the popular image of Jamaican musicians as having rasta hair and wearing those colourful hats and having great fun at parties ( probably not everyday life in Jamaica but relevant to a party night? ) and honouring a skin tone might be the intent.

As to the arising points about racism / repression / slavery and how this affects people with dark skins far more that those with white skin. I think that many are restricting their historical reference to the modern age and choosing to reference African American people as the main victims of this. Slavery, repression and predjudice according to colour is not and never has been one way. Statistics and historical references are available that show that African, Arabian and other darker skinned nations pillaged the European continent and even went as far north as Iceland to collect white slaves. White settlers entering Africa usually only had to go to the markets to get slaves, the peoples of Africa often enslaved / repressed other tribes so it was not just a colour thing. It was not just the white Americans that had slaves, mexicans did too. Irish and chinese people were also taken to America and were enslaved so its not just a colour thing.

People of all races have in history have repressed others and still do experience it, black people do not have the monopoly on it ….. just the loudest voice to proclaim actual, as well as perceived, racism or inequality because of modern media. This brings it much more to the forefront than any other race in history. That is not to say its acceptable or that is does not happen …… but to say that just because only certain can define what is racist or not and STATE IT AS FACT at a such a personal level is kinda taking us towards a state of Big Brother which makes for just as terrible a situation.

MagnificentMaleficent · 01/09/2014 14:48

Racist is as racist does Pistols

That's a comment not an attack btw.

Bambambini · 01/09/2014 14:50

I know white privilege is not about just my experiences. But people's personal experiences and situations are important. White privilege didn't really factor for my community or make a difference to us.

Who was in charge? White people were in charge when I was young, nothing wrong with that just as for my black and Asian friends - black and Asian people were in charge. It often happens when you come from a country that is predominately of one race.

"It's society seeing certain groups as lesser." - I don't think it is really. I think the concept of white privilege is more subtle and more unconscious than that. You can have it, have the advantage of it without even realising it exists (probably more common ) and not be racist. I always think a good way of explaining it is like the nude show or light skin bandaid examples.

Bambambini · 01/09/2014 14:52

Nude show? Nude shoes!

Fairywhitebear · 01/09/2014 14:55

Wow.The world has gone made.

How on earth is this racist???!!!!!

Username12345 · 01/09/2014 14:58

How on earth is this racist???!!!!!

You don't think there's an answer to that in 21 pages? Hmm

itsbetterthanabox · 01/09/2014 14:59

But you knew black and asian people living here in the uk? But they weren't represented in parliament, in big business, the media. I wasn't saying have an all non white cabinet I mean that the chances for those people of colour becoming as successful as white people was severely limited.
I don't think you can speak for the black and asian people in your community.
The examples you used of white privilege are just what I said that society see non white people as lesser. If they are not even thought about when it comes to producing products then that shows they are seen as lesser, irrelevant.

itsbetterthanabox · 01/09/2014 15:00

Fairywhitebear can you explain why it isn't racist?

Bambambini · 01/09/2014 15:04

No I didn't know black or white people living in the UK. And of course I wouldn't have spoken for black and Asian people in my community - as far as I was aware - there weren't any.

Sabrinnnnnnnna · 01/09/2014 15:07

OFGS! Of course a white person 'blacking up' is offensive. I can't believe I'm reading this crap on MN, of all places. Poor Buffy! I agree with everything she says.

White privilege exists. Worldwide. People with social privilege always deny they have it, and don't want to relinquish it. How anyone can argue that a white, heterosexual, christian person in the UK is "oppressed" is beyond me Confused

ArabellaTarantella · 01/09/2014 15:09

Are black witch doctors who 'white up' being racist? Just a thought.

Bambamboom · 01/09/2014 15:11

buffy
I was you a couple of weeks ago, you won't win here. If just hide the thread and continue with your day. You'll only feel frustrated, misunderstood and bullied otherwise. Grin

ZuluInJozi · 01/09/2014 15:12

black witch doctors who 'white up' being racist? No, because they are not acting white, the white cream often used is a homemade sun protection solution that is thought to keep evil away

Bambamboom · 01/09/2014 15:12

Apparently it's only racist when a white person paints there face white. I didn't read about why, because just the concept is laughable

Bambamboom · 01/09/2014 15:13

white person paints their face black
Sorry

WishesAndStars · 01/09/2014 15:17

The whole, "Oh, my black neighbour/colleague/nephew/friend joined in with the blackface and thought it was hilarious" isn't actually any different to saying things like, "I'm not racist - loads of my friends are black!"

It uses your one interaction with a non-white person to legitimise behaviour which many non-white people find offensive, and have given the reasons why.

Therefore, you are using that one person as a spokesperson for a whole race. This is a problem which non-white people have identified in the past - the sense that they are never just another person, but are in fact representatives of whatever it is that makes them "other" to the default person in the society which they live in.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 01/09/2014 15:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

itsbetterthanabox · 01/09/2014 15:26

Banbini you just posted about your black and asian friends you had growing up.
My grandmother who is 92 knew people of colour in the uk so you definitely will have.

Bambamboom · 01/09/2014 15:31

The whole, "Oh, my black neighbour/colleague/nephew/friend joined in with the blackface and thought it was hilarious" isn't actually any different to saying things like, "I'm not racist - loads of my friends are black!"
No it's saying loads of my black friends don't find blackface racist and they are black.

7Days · 01/09/2014 15:36

Why so invested?

You've a significant chance of really offending/upsetting someone by dressing up in blackface, not withstanding the fact that many people won't be bothered. Why? No costume is that mazing

FreudiansSlipper · 01/09/2014 15:37

really Hmm

do any of them take offence or all are in agreement its just a laugh

Bambambini · 01/09/2014 15:39

"My grandmother who is 92 knew people of colour in the uk so you definitely will have."

You do understand that people in the UK have all different experiences - or maybe you don't.

Bambamboom · 01/09/2014 15:44

I'm not saying it doesn't mean someone might take offence. It's always going to be a bit of a risky thing to do but I know plenty of black people included some who are related to me and so long as you're dressing up as someone (bob Marley for example) and not just painting your face black for no apparent reason and/or displaying racist behaviour they don't mind.
That's not to say another black person doesn't find it offensive though, probably just easier not to paint your face black, not dress up etc. you'll always offend someone, but to be caused of racism is a whole different thing

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