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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you allow your 3yo to go to the loo alone out and about?

121 replies

chaosisawayoflife · 30/08/2014 21:21

Say if you were in a restaurant, cafe, pub, or similar public space, would you allow your 3 yo to go to the loo alone? Trying to work out if my attitudes to this are 'normal'.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 30/08/2014 21:31

of course not. DS is 4.9 and I still go in with him and will do for a while yet. He goes into the cubicle alone but with me holding the door shut

Boysclothes · 30/08/2014 21:31

No. Absolutely not.

Holdthepage · 30/08/2014 21:31

No it's too young.

Moreisnnogedag · 30/08/2014 21:31

Definitely not. I can't imagine any scenario where that would end well. If he goes to the toilet alone at home, he comes back naked.

MyLifeIsFictional · 30/08/2014 21:32

No. Even friend's children 7, 9, 11 are escorted.

comedycentral · 30/08/2014 21:32

No.

Why are you asking?

grillembakeemfryemeatem · 30/08/2014 21:33

No way. DS (11) only goes alone if DH isn't with us. If we are all out, DH takes him. Children can be vulnerable in toilets.

justwondering72 · 30/08/2014 21:33

Generally no, but we do let our three year old go for a pee on his own when camping,,as long as we can see the toilet block.

Original poster
chaosisawayoflife · 30/08/2014 21:34

Fairly unanimous then! I wondered if I was being a bit precious about it. Went to lunch the other day friends who have a 3&5 yo dds and they allowed both to go to the loo alone, I insisted on accompanying both my dds (3&6) every time (and there were a lot of loo trips, every time one wanted to go they all did). Every time I went and their dds were in there they had to be reminded and helped to wash their hands (3yo couldn't reach taps and neither could reach soap or hand dryers). I'm one of those people who always worries about what other's think and I felt they were judging me as being too protective/helicoptering, but I really don't think it's on for either of my dds to go to the loo alone. Thanks all for backing up my feelings on this!

OP posts:
weebarra · 30/08/2014 21:34

Nope, he still needs help. DS1 is 6.5 and has been alone, in a soft play with me waiting outside. Normally we all go together. Such fun.

mummytowillow · 30/08/2014 21:34

I don't let my 7 year old go alone, so no way!

needaholidaynow · 30/08/2014 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissDuke · 30/08/2014 21:36

No!

SomeSunnySunday · 30/08/2014 21:37

I once did this Blush. He was desperate, I was exhausted and (literally, at the point where he was desperate for a wee) breastfeeding my new and horribly difficult to feed baby. We were at a table in a small bookshop café, and the toilet door was about 10ft from us - I could see it all of the time. He managed to lock himself in, the tap got stuck at the full "on" position, spurting water all over him and the room, and he was hysterical. Never again! He's 6 now and it's only very recently that I've let him go to the loo by himself again (and only if we are very close by and it is somewhere that seems "safe") when we are out and about.

MamaPain · 30/08/2014 21:37

Not at 3 I wouldn't.

I let 5 year old go alone as long as I can see the door, if not I may take 5 year old and wait outside.

EverythingCounts · 30/08/2014 21:38

No, definitely not. As you say, 3 yos can't reach hand dryers etc and are quite likely to need reminding to wash hands, flush and all the rest, before you even get to any safety concerns. I would accompany 3 and 6 yos as you do.

sanfairyanne · 30/08/2014 21:39

sometimes

places like toddler group, church, sure start centres, yes i think i did. possibly a very small cafe type place as well

i would prob go and check up for flushed toilets etc

all seems a long time ago now!

cardamomginger · 30/08/2014 21:39

No. For so many reasons. Her safety. In case she locked herself in. In case the toilet was in a mess and she got dirty. In case there was no loo roll. In case she left it in a mess. In case it turned into one of her 20 minute poo marathons and I needed to chivvy her along.

hmc · 30/08/2014 21:40

I don't actually like my 10 year old ds going in on his own in the gents (cue derision from other Mumsnetters) I let him obviously, but am on high alert...position myself outside the door and would have no qualms about barging in if he has been in there too long. Don't worry about dd going in on her own.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 30/08/2014 21:41

My 4yo does, but at 3 they were too small to reach the taps.

grillembakeemfryemeatem · 30/08/2014 21:43

I'm absolutely the same hmc with both DC. I know it's highly unlikely that something bad will happen to them but it's not a risk I'm willing to take.

crazykat · 30/08/2014 21:44

Not in a cafe/restaurant. My 4yo can't get on a full size toilet without help and can't usually reach the sink but is very good at washing her hands when she can reach.

In soft play where they have low toilets and sinks then I let my 4 year old go with dd1 who's 7.

JapaneseMargaret · 30/08/2014 21:45

I have a 4YO and a 5YO and no, I don't. But not, 'OMG, no WAY...!!!'. Not sure why it's a freak-out situation. The reason I don't is simply because they need assistance with various aspects.

Michonne · 30/08/2014 21:46

No way. I have only just started letting my nearly 6yo in the cubicle on her own with me right outside!

Summerdaydreams · 30/08/2014 21:49

NO WAY !! The thought would not even enter my mind. I have a 5 yr old and still no. A cubicle with me outside, yes, but nit with me sat at my table.