To think that having multiple sequel partners (across your lifetime, not at the same time) is not immoral...

[Jewels234]

This stems from a conversation I had recently. The more I think about it, the more angry I get.

The person that I was speaking to was arguing that having more than 1 sexual partner in a life time was immoral. I think that as long as no-one gets hurt, no-one should be judged for having as many sexual partners as they want.

It particularly annoyed me as the implication was that I am immoral, when I consider myself to be an extremely moral person.

So...tell me they were BU please!

I met my future DH at 21 (and been monogamous since then) and I'm still in double figures.

What an eejit this person sounds.

I have had three husbands and was faithful to each of them. My first husband was my first sexual partner. Between 1&2 I had two lovers and two one night stands but thats my lot so7 in all. I am 70 now and that will do me :)

Men don't always use condoms so why should it have to be the woman on the pill all the time?
They do if you say they won't he getting any until they've wrapped up! Of course, if you don't insist on a condom of course there's a heightened risk of STIs.

Bollocks, too many "of courses"

So, if my DD who married the man who took her virginity (freely given, within a loving relationship) subsequently gets cheated on by him, then leaves him, she would be immoral if she then met someone else?

I have only had 2 partners - including DH (20 years, 16 married) but I just happen to have met a great guy when I was 11, ignored him for 7 years, and then realised how great he was after sleeping with a complete douchebag!!!

BUT, if I hadn't got together with DH BEFORE going to Uni, I'd have been keeping Durex profitable all on my own.

However, it would have been important to me to be faithful to the one I was with, and that had remained the same throughout my life.

Each to their own but I feel that truth and openness is best in a relationship and I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone that judged me on how many partners I'd been with previously. And no, I wouldn't lie

I don't care about numbers, but I would be wary if someone had a pattern of relationships that seemed to be serious but only lasted a couple of years each.

Lots if casual flings and a few more serious relationships that didn't work out is one thing, but a pattern of backing out before commitment would give me pause for thought.

I've led such a 'sheltered' life so to speak that I didn't even understand the terms used in the OP.

Multiple sequel partners?

It took a few reads but I understand now.

One cock for all your life??? Fuck that & a few more
How odd to think it immoral... They are of course VVU.

I couldn't imagine only having one sexual partner but then again, as a teen I had no morals

DH and I have never discussed numbers but I think it's been implied that I've had waaaay more than him. It's really not an issue and I don't think I'm immoral

Even the bible doesn't say it's immoral, where is she getting her ideas from?

Unless you live a....ahem...full life, you don't know what you like, what you need and what makes you happy. Without that knowledge you are prone to making mistakes. The happiest couples I know are ones that have been round the block. They have seen the grass isn't greener or if it is, it's been fertilzed with bullshit. Other clichés may apply but it's true as far as I can see. Just one!!!

Completely agree, Dinnae

I've slept with many more than the apparent average and while they've all almost all been good and fun experiences, I've only had that amazing OH MY GOD WOW click with two or three. Where you feel absolutely comfortable in yourself and not at all self conscious; where you know the other person feels exactly the same; where you can talk absolutely openly about the things you do and feel comfortable trying and suggesting new things; where you just lie there afterwards looking at each other thinking "bloody HELL!"

It just makes me realise that actually I wouldn't be willing to settle with a partner where we didn't have that, so if that means another ten years of singledom, so be it.

One? An ex (very short term!) implied the whole universe would move. It didn't; I barely saw his "erection" well I had taken my glasses off.

I finished with him that night. Well, stopped taking his calls.

If my entire sex life was meant to be like that,I would have considered other options!

The person who has this opinion is my mum. It came up because my sister has been a bit more...prolific recently. My mum's reaction is that she is a complete hussy (couldn't think of a better word!) after my sister decided to share a bit too much. I am glad my sister is having fun!

I can't imagine taking someone who thinks more than 1 sexual partner in a lifetime is immoral seriously...?!

Right there and then, I'd be privately writing them off as some sort of bizarre fundamentalist.

Disclaimer: I am not saying there is anything wrong with having only 1 sexual partner, but there is definitely something wrong with projecting that preference onto everyone else, and judging people for doing things differently.

Ohhh, massive cross-post.

OP, I presume you've done the "what if a person's partner dies when they're 29 - are they meant to be single forever?!?!" line?

What is/was her response? Has she said this to your sister? Does your sister know that others don't agree with her OR alternatively, is she confident enough to not be bothered?

How old is your sister, out of interest?

Well I'm actually pretty grateful to DHs ex girlfriend that long term relationship was really positive for him, he matured from teenager to man, learnt to reallyappreciate and understand women and is very domesticated...lovely girl she just wasn't 'the one'.For me I don't regret my car crash relationship history either, I appreciate how good DH is because of it. I think part of the reason we fell in love is that our life history shaped us into the people we are......and with that I might exit before I make myself vomit with the mushiness!!

You need to try various options before deciding on the one that suits you best . Sometimes it's best just to go with the flow, as it were

Well crumbs. I'm into double figs. Always been careful, always been consensual, always had fun.

I separated from my husband in January. I'm 34. Sex is definitely in my present and future!

DP is my second and I started a relationship with him at 18. Well kind of only had 2 1/2 a bloke took advantage when I was too drunk about 6 weeks after we got together.

I wish I lost my virginity to my partner - I lost it at 17 to my partner at the time who frightened me.

I was DPs first aged 21.

I asked him if he felt he was missing out and wanted a year break to see if he wanted to experience intimacy with someone else and know if I was the one but he said he didn't need to.

If at 21 he had 1 or 2 previous partners I wouldn't have cared less as long as he was willing to have an sti check (as well as me).

I don't think there is a magic number but if he told me he'd slept with 21 women by 21 I think I'd feel he was a bit of a serial dater/charmer and unlikely to settle.

I think the attitude one and one only is ridiculous.

If the one hurts you it's the end is it?

Bollocks.

Is it bollocks immoral. Morality is all based on opinion anyway. It's within my morals not to eat meat but most people in the world do that. It's her morals not to sleep with more than one person, most will sleep with more and that's FINE.

Both are fine. Polygamy is fine if it's all consensual and everyone involved is happy. Swinging is fine. Nudism is fine. Just live and let live. Fuck 'morals' .