Overzealous border control

[fairlyliquid]

We came back from holiday last week and I went up to the border control counter with DS (4) and DN who is nearly 17 and has lived with us for 3 years. The agent asked me whether he was my child because he has a different surname, so I explained he was my nephew. She wanted to know whether he was traveling with his parents and I said no, he was traveling with us. So she asked where his parents where and I had to say, they are deceased, he lives with us. So then she asked for our legal guardianship documents, which we don't have. I was really embarrassed as was DN as we don't talk about his parents (don't blame me for this - it was all very deeply buried when I came into the picture 3 years ago). He is over 6 foot tall and quite able to stand up for himself.

She advised me to travel with proper documents next time. AIBU to think this is a bit strange, seeing as he could have gone through on his own without problem?

Amarena, imagine a child is being trafficked and they are told if you are asked who I am, say "She's my mummy" that child when asked "is she nice to you?" will look blankly.

I don't understand the pony about you ex and your new wife. If they travelled with the children, they have the same chance of randomly being asked as you do.

marco - she did actually look at him blankly. We all did. She answered when I nudged her and said 'well, am I nice to you then?'. If anything that looks more suspect in my view.

And wrt the ex - they are less likely to be stopped as they are travelling as the 'aspirational' family of 2 children, 2 adults all with the same surname. I don't know of anyone (in real life, not in my computer) who has been stopped and asked questions when they've been travelling in that set up. But as a single parent travelling with my children I have (and so have others I know) - and not in a pleasant fashion. It would appear that my ex and his wife - if either of them could muster up the energy - could travel freely with the children despite them not having parental responsibility for them. Immigration seem to be using a scattergun approach, following no particular process other than targeting travellers where both parents aren't present. It is wrong.

And my experience with them left me feeling quite shaken and close to tears so I am particularly bitter about it.

Surrey people being trafficked into this country aren't going to have legally verifiable British passports?

Why not... abducted children tend to go to the country where the abductor lives, has support networks etc. It's not particularly common, because the UK is quite rigorous at pursuing them.

If my DP took DD to her home country, DD would have a passport for that one, and she'd also have a passport for here if I brought her back to the UK - it's unlikely either of us will ever be abducting her, but having a passport of the country your going to is probably more likely rather than less in abduction cases.

I'd be quite interested to hear about cases of British passport holders being trafficked into Britain. It would help reduce my rage when I am questioned about travelling into my own country with my own children.

Firstly - I am embarrassed to admit I misread the thread title as overzealous bladder control

Oops.

We deliberately waited to renew DS's passport until after his 16th birthday so he could have an adult passport so I don't need to carry documentation from his father to travel with him (we live in a border town and his father is 500km away - very convenient to pop over without notice, royal pain to get approval for every jaunt from the ex).

If he was travelling on a minor's passport, then the border agent was within rights. On an adult's passport, it might have been a little OTT.

But surely the point is that 16 year olds can fly unaccompanied and get themselves through passport control, irrespective if what relatives or friends they may be on the same plane with?

16 year olds can get married! Do their parents / guardians have to accompany them on honeymoon ? With the paperwork proving guardianship ? I understand why you are puzzled / frustrated OP .

Who knows, maybe they were on a special alert for teens as terrorists or on false passports or being trafficked on passports showing an older age or something.

I agree it doesn't make sense asking British passport holders on the way in.

How can you traffic children into a county they have a passport for. And passports gave addresses. Can't they check first and ask second. I got stopped bringing DS and his friend back from holiday. I said he was a school friend and I was taking him home. How can that even be an issue?

DS also went away with a friend and they got stopped. Friend had my letter of consent and a copy of my passport. They were still questioned and told that my letter wasn't legal. My friend had a lengthy discussion with the guard about how there isn't any legal paperwork for this. Anyone can knock up a fake solid terms letter.

Solicitors

If my ex had custody of my daughter and I kidnapped her. I would bring her into the UK on a British passport. He could do the same taking her into his country.

revealall Of course you can abduct a child who has a UK passport, and try to bring them in to the UK.

I don't know of any UK cases, it's pretty rare anyway, here's an example of a US passport holder being reunited with the parent with custody by entering at an airport:

indianexpress.com/article/world/indians-abroad/indian-origin-woman-arrested-in-us-for-abducting-her-child/

You are more likely to have a passport of where you're being abducted to than less, as it's almost always a parent doing it.

I always get stopped with DD. It's because she is the same age as Madeleine McCann and looks very similar to some of the computer generated pictures. She is used to it now and understands. I would rather over-zealous border control than no-one bothering to check children traveling in and out of the UK.

Here's one, UK passport holder child (although the mother wasn't) picked up upon returning to Heathrow, now I do expect that she was on a watch list and not from random questioning, but the principle of showing picking up children at airports is a valid one.

www.incadat.com/index.cfm?act=search.detail&cid=580&lng=1&sl=2

It's normal and it wouldn't bother me. When ever my kids holidayed abroad as teens they always ended up with the 18 year old being the adult. The 16 or 17 year olds always took letters from their parents.

Anything that may stop trafficking etc is a good thing in my books even if it effects me.