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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave my 10mo at home while i go on holiday?

91 replies

bedraggledmumoftwo · 29/08/2014 07:02

So it is our 5th wedding anniversary soon. Dh and I have been talking about going on a short break- would be three nights. My mum has volunteered to babysit for my 2yo and will be 10 mo when we go. Part of me is really excited and wants a break. But i also feel really anxious about leaving dd2 for that long. Dd1 loves my mum and will be excited to be with grandma, but dd2 is mummys girl and has separation anxiety- guess i do too! So wwyd, would you leave them?

OP posts:
HandMini · 29/08/2014 14:25

some parents see a bit of anxiety on their children's part as a natural and unavoidable part of life while others do everything they can to prevent it - this is so sensible, never thought of it like that before.

I also think how much time you spend with your children generally makes a difference. I work FT, so I already spend a lot of time away from my children. That makes me less keen to spend more time away from them when I'm not at work. I think I might feel differently if I spent all day with them or a larger part of each week day.

combust22 · 29/08/2014 14:35

handme- some interesting points.

Perhaps those who work ft are already used to leaving- and the child being left- so going on holiday without them. I was with my children 24/7 until they started school - and because of thet wouldn't have gone on holiday witout them.

Lots of different perspectives.

CromerSutra · 29/08/2014 14:50

Depends on your child and on you really. I reluctantly left dd with Mil when she was 11 mths, I was very unhappy, she was very unhappy. I wouldn't have done it if I 'd listened to my own instincts. Friends of mine have done this (sometimes for longer) and have been fine. It's your choice entirely.

ToriaPumpkin · 29/08/2014 15:12

I'm a SAHM and recently left my 2.10 yo and 3mo with my parents for a week to go away for our wedding anniversary. I missed them and my son asked for me a few times but it was all fine and they had a whale of a time with nana and grandad!

ChatEnOeuf · 29/08/2014 15:46

Do it! I went back to work when DD was 11m and she stayed with family (as they had olympics tickets, the lucky buggers) for a few days until I came back (for the events I had tickets for) :D

heraldgerald · 29/08/2014 18:32

Ds and dh went away for 4 nights when ds was 9 months old. I still look back on those lie ins with fondness Grin

Original poster
bedraggledmumoftwo · 29/08/2014 22:19

In the end we have decided not to go. Dh found an article online dying they are generally ok to be left for twice as many days as they are years old. So dd1 would be ok, but i just cant bring myself to do it to dd2 at this point. It was a nice fantasy though! Thanks for all the input.

OP posts:
Original poster
bedraggledmumoftwo · 29/08/2014 22:20

Saying, not dying, obviously...

OP posts:
NoodleOodle · 30/08/2014 00:51

I would go.

HaroldLloyd · 30/08/2014 00:55

Yes i would!

Katy1368 · 30/08/2014 09:34

Up to you of course, but I left DD for four nights when she was four months old with my mum to visit DP who was working abroad. It was really fine, she didn't care who was looking after her as long as she got her bottle and cuddles! Plus she was with my mum who I know 100 per cent would take the best care of her.

Was a great break, really rejuvenated me after the whole pregnancy, birth, night feeds business and set me up for the next few months. DD was fine!

WarblingOyster · 30/08/2014 11:51

I would still go. Don't listen to articles, every child isn't the same. I left my 9 month old for a couple of days during separation anxiety with my mum and it was me who was emotional! I don't think it was noticed that I'd left Grin

SaucyJack · 30/08/2014 12:06

I would've left DD1 with my mum at that age. I could've left DD2 with the woman from Tesco and she wouldn't have cared. DD3 is six months and she panics if I leave her with her dad while I have a bath so I highly doubt I'd leave her at that age unless my life depended on it.

All kids are different. You know your child and whether it would be fair or not.

HibiscusIsland · 30/08/2014 12:10

No I wouldn't if the 10 mo has separation anxiety as it will cause her...anxiety.

HibiscusIsland · 30/08/2014 12:11

Seen your latest response. I would have made the same decision

MintTeaForMe · 30/08/2014 16:22

'In the end we have decided not to go. Dh found an article online dying they are generally ok to be left for twice as many days as they are years old.'

Seriously? You know there's always going to be an article online that makes you feel guilty about the way you parent. And the 'twice as many days as they are years old' thing is ridiculous - YOU know your children better than anyone else, and if the author of the article can't see that, well, why are you going to listen to their advice about anything?

DH and I went to NYC when DS was 5 months old...for a week. No drama, no anxiety, everything was fine. If you want to go, and you think your children can handle it, don't change your mind because of something you read on the Internet!

Nonie241419 · 30/08/2014 19:41

I wouldn't, but mine were still bfing through the night, and nowhere near sleeping through at 10 months.

HibiscusIsland · 30/08/2014 20:00

The op doesn't think her 10 month old can handle it. She has separation anxiety. That's why she isn't going.

hollie84 · 30/08/2014 20:05

I'd make it two nights, and my mum does do childcare once a week while I work so the kids are used to her, but I would go.

carlywurly · 30/08/2014 20:35

I left ds at that age for 3 nights - with mil for dh's annual work conference abroad. All was fine. We did it again the following year Grin

kslatts · 30/08/2014 21:02

I would go. Your baby will be fine.

EarthWindFire · 30/08/2014 21:21

I'd do it. If we all took notice of everything we read we'd never walk out the front door or eat again Wink

Pusspuss1 · 30/08/2014 21:33

I wouldn't, I think the little one is too young, and I'm glad you've decided against it. Think you've made the right decision.

Btw, depending on where you live, do you know that they do night flights to see the northern lights, from Edinburgh I think? They just fly you out, you see them and you come home a few hours later!

ICanSeeTheSun · 30/08/2014 21:40

Just go, your baby will be fine.

Xmasbaby11 · 30/08/2014 21:40

I wouldn't because I would miss dc too much and would be too anxious about thatlength of time. Butit sounds like yours would be fine! The holiday sounds amazing!

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