To ask whether anyone has regretted having a third DC?

[Shardlakelover]

I keep wondering about having a third DC. My heart says yes; my head says absolutely no way due to not liking being pregnant, the sleep deprivation, the expense, fact we would need to move house, the exhaustion caused by small children etc. But I wonder if I will always regret not having a third DC. (The gap between my youngest and another DC would be around three years. We could afford it but would have to cut back on luxuries.) Can I ask whether anyone has had a third DC and regretted it? Or not had a third DC and regretted it?

Oh fuckwittery thats sad to hear you are struggling so much. I hope things get easier for you soon.

Fuckwittery - I really hope things improve for you. I'm sure it will once the sleep situation improves. However, your post sums up all my concerns about having a third DC.

i was ambivalent, dh really wanted no. 3 so i went with it. was very hard for the first 3 years. really, really hard. i did feel a lot of regret - not the child obviously, but the circumstances i regularly found myself in.

now however the fog is lifting. dd3 is finally sleeping through (well she has for the last 3 weeks bar 1 night) and is becoming a little more reasonable. she sort of speaks english for one.

you do have to be more organised, but at the same time the older one manages more herself.

i'm now very happy with my three. totally different dynamic, and i really love spending time with them. i wouldn't change it for the world.

it's just those first couple of awful years you have to get through.

I have there and I love it. But I had 3 under 4 and DC3 was a difficult baby (a terrible sleeper and a much trickier toddler than my other two) so though I honestly don't regret it now (they're 4, 6 and 8) there we're definitely times in the past few years when I did.

I'm the second of four. I have two. My experience growing up means I'm sticking at 2. There was never enough time with my DP and by the time I was 13, I was basically totally independent of the family. As was my older DB. The younger ones were (as I now appreciate) totally all consuming.

Interesting thread.

We always wanted 4 (I'm one of 4 and love it - and the big family when they're adults thing really resonates with me) but sadly IF robbed us of choice and we have 2 gorgeous kids for whom we're incredibly grateful.

I always feel like I have 2 missing though and regularly borrow my friends kids for days out ( which my friends don't complain about and my children love!) but anymore simply isn't an option for us.

That's interesting, fufulina. I'm the youngest of 4. My siblings have either two or less dc. I have 3 and wanted more. Maybe the youngest in a large family has the happiest childhood and wants to replicate it? I'll have to ask my sisters/brother their thoughts.

I desperately wanted a 3DC but he who shall be obeyed was having non of it and went for the snip without my knowledge. It's a gap I have never been able to fill.

Piccaras, that's awful!

I too found the first few years with each subsequent baby very, very hard. For me it's been/is a long game - as DS4 is now 4, I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. As soon as he decides that verbal communication is superior to the screaming heebie-jeebies we'll be fine. I hope. Sigh.

Interesting what your youngest/older of 4 say - food for thought.

fuckwittery i can really sympathise. I feel like that still. Dcs 1 and 2 are adults now and while still not fully independent in terms of homes and jobs, they do their own thing pretty much. And then there is dc3 who is 12! Still have the whole teen years thing to go through again, plus high school stuff plus all the rest of the I need/I want/taxi me here there and everywhere. Its boring third time round and yes, for all those rolling their eyes and calling me a selfish bitch, I probably am but I would like my life back now.

I love having 3, my DC are in their teens and 20's now so a lot of the hard work is over now. I love seeing them all together and have been lucky that so far they all get on.
I've never really thought of how life would have been like with one or two DC.

PacificDogwood: ?? I am very lucky, I have two lovely children so more fortunate than some. Interestingly my eldest wants a large family as does his lovely wife who is also from a two child family.

IMO, if you have the energy and the love go for it, everything else will fall into place.

God no, 3 is not the number I personally would like. It's so expensive and then I worry about over-population. One is my dream!

I was just thinking earlier about how our family didn't feel complete when my younger DC was a baby but now she is nearly two and able to properly interact and play with her older sibling, our family of four definitely feels more complete. However, I'd still love to know if there is anyone out there who has regretted NOT having another DC. (I should really have worded my thread title more effectively!)

Oh there was a thread on here with that title fairly recently. (Can you tell I've agonised over this??)

I think you can regret the children you don't have, and you never regret the children you do have.

That said I'm stopping at 2

Just need to tell my hormones that!

I don't regret having dc3 for a second. I love the dynamic between the 3 of them, the extra personality, the extra love and am looking forward to having a busy house full of young people for years to come. I sometimes wonder about dc4. It is more expensive to go on holiday etc but, I pretty much find I spend what I have anyway so I'm probably pretty much in the same position I would have been in with two.