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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not buy 'regulation' school uniform

237 replies

Edenviolet · 27/08/2014 15:10

Because firstly it is much more expensive (1 school logo polo top for £7.50 when I can get two plain ones for £5).
Secondly the list states "only shirts (l/s or s/s) with ties. NO open neck blouses for girls. Dd2 hates tight things near her neck or feeling restricted thread hated the shirt tie combo even with top button undone so I have got her blouses with an open neck as she will be comfier.

Db was horrified (his daughter is also starting school at the same time) and he said I am wrong to deliberately get the 'wrong' uniform

OP posts:
Original poster
Edenviolet · 27/08/2014 15:59

I didn't even know you could get long sleeved polo shirts

OP posts:
fairgame · 27/08/2014 15:59

Will she get away with the proper long sleeved shirt and just have the top 1 or 2 buttons open when it gets colder? You can hide it by doing up the tie loosely. I have a real phobia of things around my neck (i was strangled by another child at primary school) and i managed to do it that way at secondary.

BeerTricksPotter · 27/08/2014 15:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoctorDonnaNoble · 27/08/2014 16:00

Really fairgame! Wouldn't get away with that at ours! Although, as I've said if there's a known about medical reason then there is usually leeway.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/08/2014 16:01

I don't know if you can - but I bet a dressmaker could take the sleeves off a long sleeved jersey top and graft them onto the sleeves of a polo shirt - like one of those mock-two-layer efforts.

thegreylady · 27/08/2014 16:03

Fruit of the Loom have long sleeved polo shirts on Amazon from age 3-4 upwards. They are white, pale blue, red or navy and from £5.36 to £5.99 each.

BackforGood · 27/08/2014 16:03

YOu would have got a LOT of different replies if you'd put all the information in the OP.

Your title and OP just made you sound like you were being awkward, which is why you got the answers you did. If the information you put in your post at 15:49:33 had been there from the start, people would have responded differently.

fairgame · 27/08/2014 16:06

doctor it was 12 years ago and not the best school in the world. They were lucky if most kids turned up in shoes instead of trainers!!

It sounds like things are much stricter nowadays, however i would expect them maybe to get away with it in a primary school.

TheFairyCaravan · 27/08/2014 16:08

hedgehog take a deep breath. None of this is worth crying over. Brew Cake.

Take the blouses back, she doesn't need them and probably won't wear them. Shirts and ties are ridiculous uniforms for infant school aged children, they are uncomfortable and hot and make them fidgety.

Of course plain polos are okay for under jumpers and cardis and I really doubt that you will be the only one who has bought them. Perhaps buy one logo'ed one for school photo/ concert day.

Here's some long sleeved ones for Winter. Smile

Original poster
Edenviolet · 27/08/2014 16:08

I suppose so but then again dds diabetes and other medical problems are separate from her huge dislike of anything restrictive round her neck. Its just me that has linked them as It was something I could make better for her and something she didn't have to wear whereas she goes through all manner of invasive things on a daily basis that she doesn't like and has no choice about.

It was nice for it to just be about uniform and comfort that probably sounds odd but it felt like a problem I could deal with for her

OP posts:
DoctorDonnaNoble · 27/08/2014 16:09

To be fair, there are plenty of teachers who don't notice. I just have the eyes of a hawk and love the opportunity to teach the boys how to sew a button on, when a button 'falls off'!

Viviennemary · 27/08/2014 16:10

It will all depend upon how strict the school is about uniform. But if they specifically say no open collars then she could get into trouble in the first day or two for wearing the wrong shirt. Buying an almost identical but bit cheaper shirt is usually OK but wrong style could be a problem.

DoctorDonnaNoble · 27/08/2014 16:11

Hedgehog - she will get used to, I promise. Buy them big and they don't feel so constricting! She'll probably cope much better than you fear. Most children do. It must be a worrying time for you. Perhaps you could make it a nicer experience through things like her choice of pencil case etc if you haven't already done that.

Ilovexmastime · 27/08/2014 16:12

Tyyhg

Ilovexmastime · 27/08/2014 16:17

Whoops! Try again...
I can only speak for my kids primary, but there's no way she'd get bullied for wearing slightly different uniform here... no parents I know are that bothered about getting it exactly right, and I have been known to send them in in non-uniform when we've left stuff places. Although, as a side note, I never let them off their homework just because I'm not anal about uniform - as a rather snidey poster suggested you might do upthread!

SuburbanRhonda · 27/08/2014 16:18

honeysuckle, we aren't allowed to use pupil premium to buy a child's school uniform. Instead, we recycle donated uniform and ask parents to give what they can afford.

Also, PP is only allocated to children who are, or have been in the last six years, eligible for free school meals. Being on a low income is not always enough to qualify, sadly.

AWombWithoutARoof · 27/08/2014 16:26

My DD doesn't have any medical conditions, and also cried when she tried her uniform on. I'm not thrilled about having to make her wear it, I'm not a fan of uniform at all, but we have to.

This thread is going round in circles a bit now. It seems there are two options:

  1. Wear a polo shirt (surely if it's under a jumper or cardigan it will be hard to tell if it's branded or not).

  2. Wear a blouse and put a tie on.

Don't just ignore an explicit instruction, that makes you look like 'one of those parents'.

LightastheBreeze · 27/08/2014 16:28

All I can think is how ridiculous that a state primary school has a uniform that includes a shirt and tie for 4-5 year olds, however long does changing for PE take. They must look a motley bunch, some in shirts and ties and some in polo shirts. Open neck shirts would be a better alternative to shirts and ties.

neverputasockinatoaster · 27/08/2014 16:30

Hedgehog I totally understand how you are feeling.

DD and DS (who both have an ASC) are about to change schools. The uniform is a shirt and tie. Both of them hate the feeling of anything around their necks and wrists... Both of them over heat. The tie is an utter bone of contention with DS as he didn't wear one at his last school although DD was supposed to. (note the supposed bit there....)

As a parent I want my children to be comfortable. If they are comfortable physically they hvae more reserves to deal with the rest of the shit life throws at them. As a parent I also feel I have to teach them to follow the rules and conform as best they can.

As an ex teacher I really didn't have the time or the energy to clock whether little Jimmy or Flossie was wearing the correct Polo shirt. To me it really isn't a big deal. I know other teachers notice. I know other teachers comment and enforce.

So, take the shirts back. Polo shirts WILL be warm enough - primary classrooms are fecking boiling! If you feel she needs a shirt then buy one a few sizes too big so the neck is too big - my mum had to do that for me as the merest hint of a collar around my neck set me off heaving and gagging - and do the tie loosely.

(DD was supposed to wear a tie. I tried to enforce it but the morning battle of getting her to wear any clothes at all was all becoming a pile of shit so I took to putting it in her book bag. My reasoning was that if the tie was so important they could get her to wear it. Her class teacher tried once. The HT then puled me up on it so I explained how hellish our mornings were, how the tie was becoming a reason that she didn't want to come to school and said he was welcome to get her to wear it but that I valued my relationship with my daughter far more than a scrap of material. He tried once. He then suggested we not bother any more and at Easter she was the first child into her summer dress)

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/08/2014 16:30

I will put money on at least a third if the class having plain polos.

Seriously £7.50. That's £37.50 for five. That's a pair of shoes. Who would pay that happily? Seriously?

With other kids you'd need at least4/5 so there's no panic with the mounds of washing that one wasn't put in.

neverputasockinatoaster · 27/08/2014 16:34

I am aware that my last paragraph makes me sound like a right bolshy mare. Nothing can be further from the truth.

I just believe that in life there is 'big stuff' and 'small stuff'.

School uniform is 'small stuff'.
My daughter's happiness is 'big stuff'

DaisyFlowerChain · 27/08/2014 16:34

Polos will be fine for a while, I'd not flaunt the uniform rules. You need to show the school you are onboard with their rules.

Ask if can order in long sleeved polo shirts. They may not be a stock item the school holds but most suppliers do them. We had them for DS as the jumpers irritated his excema and the tops didn't.

neverputasockinatoaster · 27/08/2014 16:36

For DD and DS's new school they needed logoed PE kits, and logoed jumpers/cardigans.

I spent £50 in the uniform shop on 2 jumpers, 2 ties and 2 polo shirts.
I spent £50 is Sainsburys on 2 pinnies, 10 pairs of socks, 6 shirts, 4 pairs of shorts and 4 jumpers.......

I expect most people will have plain polo shirts. I really do.

Hulababy · 27/08/2014 16:37

www.schooluniform247.co.uk/Long-Sleeve-Polo-T-Shirt-1-13-yrs-1

Long sleeved white polo

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/08/2014 16:37

Ohhh you are not wrong, Lightas - my dses' primary school did ask for them to wear shirt and tie occasionally - if the school choir was in a competition, for example (can't remember any others, I am afraid), but for every day, they could wear polo shirts all the way through the infants and juniors.

Quite apart from anything else, polo shirts are so much easier to launder. If you are careful,putting them on the line or radiator, or if you whip them straight out of the dryer and fold them, you can get away without ironing them, and if you do need to iron them, they are a darn sight easier to iron than a shirt.

I will never forget the way my heart sank when I realised that with 3 sons at senior school, and one dh working in an office, all of whom needed a clean shirt each day, this added up to 20 shirts a week that would all need ironing! I very quickly instituted a rule that the dses had to iron their own school shirts - which they modified to taking turns to iron 15 shirts on a three week rota, which I thought was madness - but as long as it wasn't me slaving over a hot ironing board... Grin