To not buy 'regulation' school uniform

[Edenviolet]

Because firstly it is much more expensive (1 school logo polo top for £7.50 when I can get two plain ones for £5).
Secondly the list states "only shirts (l/s or s/s) with ties. NO open neck blouses for girls. Dd2 hates tight things near her neck or feeling restricted thread hated the shirt tie combo even with top button undone so I have got her blouses with an open neck as she will be comfier.

Db was horrified (his daughter is also starting school at the same time) and he said I am wrong to deliberately get the 'wrong' uniform

YANBU and unless it's private you WON'T get a letter about it either. Schools can ask people to provide uniform but they can't make them. Not in state schools.

I never buy the official cardigans and shirts in my DC primary school as they're ugly and too expensive for the quality.I just buy navy blue cardigan from M&S or Next and shirts from Asda as they go through them like sweeties.

what an awful example to be setting to your DC, it's ok to go agains the rules. I bet you excuse her from homework too.

Dd does have other medical issues yes and gets uncomfortable easily so iam trying to limit any other source of feeling uncomfy for her.

So speak to the school and ask them how you can. together, help to address this issue.

So dd2 is likely to get picked on for looking slightly different, I'm sure the other dcs in her class wouldn't even notice that she's not wearing a tie in winter?

Secondary schools certainly would address it. Maybe it's just a primary school thing. At our school if there's a genuine reason to bend the rule it is expected that the student will have a note in their diary.

The polo shirts will be good all year round. Schools are usually very hot places.

It is a state primary school.

Ah. I recognise you now Hedgehog and remember previous posts from you about your DD's new school.

I'm gonna put my armchair shrink's hat on now and say that you are transferring your understandable anxiety about your DD's serious medical needs onto her uniform, and are making you look for trouble where it doesn't need to be.

Just buy the school polo shirts, and have them over a vest and under a jumper when it gets really cold. Job done.

Oh, don't. I can still remember the ignominy of showing up in my first day (at secondary, mind you) in a clumpy hand knitted jumper instead of the nylon one on the list, and a hand me down skirt which was also home made (in the name of God, why???) and made from a tartan material that was almost, but not quite, the actual tartan of the uniform, in a wide sort of tutu like style instead of straight.
It took years to leave that fiasco behind me.

I don't think she will get picked on, not in reception. She would in secondary school, but that is years away.

"Dd does have other medical issues yes and gets uncomfortable easily so iam trying to limit any other source of feeling uncomfy for her."

In which case the best option is for you (and she) to work out which of he permitted options is comfiest (or least uncomfy). Standing out by wearing non-uniform clothes (especiall ones which are definitely banned) is going to harm, not help, her settling.

If, once she is well settled, you still feel the uniform needs to be changed, then see if the PTA or any other school forum will take up the issue. There is usually more clout at way. Your DD will also, by then, be able to tell you whether she is up for being a conspicuous rule breaker or if she would prefer to conform whilst others seek the changes.

Children notice everything. My SIL is 6 and can describe her friends' clothes down to the buttons.

Just get the right ones.

Don't be ridiculous she doesn't need long sleeves just put a thermal vest on under a polo shirt. And yes yabu and one of " those" parents.

You see now I'm crying saucy jack. I'm stressing about her uniform, the one thing I can control is whether her neck is uncomfy or not. I think I just want to have a 'normal' problem with an easy solution-buy an open neck blouse. When she cried and hated the feel of the shirt and tie I just got a blouse instead because I could make it better for her.

But now people saying she will be picked on for not wearing a tie makes me think oh god if kids will notice that then they will definitely notice the cannula/sensor/insulin pump/tube and little bag she carries everywhere with her cgm sensor in.

As an ex teacher, I despair. The uniform is what it is. You can't simply "tell the school she WILL be wearing...", it doesn't work that way.

I hope your daughter is a tough one, because she will get told off for her uniform, whether its her or you that is getting it wrong.

I hope she is able to never wear the tie, to avoid conflict.

If she does have to wear a shirt in future, get one that is too big so the collar isn't tight.

I'm so sick of "But Miss, my throat...its so tight... It itches... The tie clip digs in... Its too hot for my blazer... My skirt is knee length..." Although male teachers never commented on skirts, because then you get "why are you looking, Sir?!" nonsense. In short... Teachers are sosck of enforcing uniform rules they are likely to snap if there's something (seemingly minor) wrong.

I doubt that many reception kids will be wearing ties. Just get the polo shirts. If cost is an issue could you find out if the school has any second hand ones they can sell you?

Sorry I may be being dim but why can't you get her long-sleeved polo shirts?
DS wears short/long sleeved polo shirts and it's quite an unusual colour, but I've never bought them new.

Doesn't the school do 2nd hand sales of the branded polo, or is the uniform too new?

Don't worry about the medical equipment. Reception are too small to be concerned, and by secondary most insulin pumps etc can be hidden under their larger clothes.

I once shouted at a students for playing with their mobile phone, before realising what it was.

Let's be realistic please. She isn't going to be bullied for wearing an open neck shirt aged 4. She isn't going to be excluded or punished for it.
There's no point keep putting the boot it, the OP has explained her other concerns.
Hedgehog just use the polos for now. Deal with the rest of the uniform when it gets cold. And it doesn't matter if they are logos or not IME

If it helps, I have found when it 'serious' things like insulin pumps, children are amazingly understanding (although I've had a few moans about if x can have crisps in class, why can't I). It's the little things that seem to matter. She will not be teased by Reception class children, but they are likely to be curious as to why.
I mentioned early a student who wears a larger shirt. with a turtle/polo neck. It seems to really help him wear his tie. It was announced in staff briefing that he had permission and he gets left alone about it.
If she is going to be genuinely uncomfortable to the level if affects her health, it is ESSENTIAL that you contact school before the start of term (they will have at least one staff day I'm sure) and explain why, they will then work around here. Exceptions can be made.

Also if money is a problem, ask about "Pupil Premium" which supports people on a low or no income with buying school equipment, uniform, books etc.

You know, the other children may well notice the other stuff too, but it doesn't mean they will be unkind or nasty to her. IME it is often quite the opposite. We have had children with all sorts of differences at school (its an infant school) and the children are never teased or tormented about these kind of things here. Little children normally take things like that in their stride, they notice things but don't react like adults do.

The thing to push for, via school, is a long sleeved polo as being part of the uniform list.

Reception kids are very accepting of disabilities. One of the kids in my DS's class is missing a limb. He is one of the most popular in the class. Although the kids have noticed it, it's more in a 'look, mummy, X hasn't got Y' then they're dashing off together to play.

Your DD's classmates will notice the cannula etc. But they won't care.

Hedgehog - my mil is not far off 80 years old and she still remembers, with great bitterness, how her mum refused to buy her the correct uniform for her school. Her parents were very proud of her for getting into a prestigious school, but refused to buy the uniform - her mother made some of it and bought some generic garments, but mil was very aware that she was dressed differently to her schoolmates.

Now this was secondary school, not primary, but I still think it is a useful illustration of how children can feel about being 'different'.

On a practical level, I would suggest that you go with the polo shirts, and see how your child copes when the weather gets colder - but if your dd does need long sleeves in the winter, do you really want her to be told off for wearing the wrong shirts? Even if you write to the school and "...explain to them that when its cold she will be wearing a long sleeved shirt and no tie..." I very much doubt that they will simply accept that, and let her flout the uniform rules, whilst insisting that every other pupil observes them - I am sorry, but that is simply NOT how schools work!