Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think its wrong to use potty out in the open

159 replies

Edinburghmummy12 · 27/08/2014 12:08

Walked past a women and her child sat down in a potty useing it on a very busy street . What do you all think cos part of mes thinking fair enough but the other parts thinking no

OP posts:
Picklesauage · 27/08/2014 19:37

I have a recently potty trained child and carry a travel potty with me sometimes. If I am going out into town or high street I normally leave it in the car, however if I am going into the nearest city I carry it. This is because finding stores who will let you use the toilet is nearly impossible. I also think this is why travel potties are more common now than it used to be. I think that in previous generations shops were more accommodating about allowing small children use their toilets!

If I do use it out and about it is either in toilet cubicles, she doesn't like the huge hole in the toilets! Neither would I if I could fall straight in as my little DD would. Or in secluded grassy areas and very occasionally in car parks. In this case I open both passenger side doors and she sits on the ground in between them, I stand blocking the open side, effectively creating a toilet cubicle.

As PP mentioned it is also excellent for when out and about in the wilderness. Having a DD and not a DS makes weeing in nature more troublesome and the travel potty helps immensely.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 27/08/2014 20:05

There are no toilets but an allocated 'wee tree' at our local park, I have seem many toddlers using it!

I prefer taking the potty because I can pour the contents into a nappy to throw away.

This emerging attitude that if children can't immediately use a toilet perfectly they aren't ready must be leaving a hell of a lot of children in nappies far longer than necessary - it is totally 100% normal for children to take a few weeks to completely get the idea and be able to give enough notice to always make it to the toilet.

fifi669 · 27/08/2014 20:11

I didn't use a travel potty for DS because I'm too tight to buy one but there were occasions I've had to pull in a lay by 2 minutes after leaving nursery as he's suddenly needed to go, or opened the doors of the car so he can go in a side street etc. So many things are much more exciting than thinking whether you need the loo so toddlers don't always give warning.

What's the big deal? I wouldn't want anyone going while I'm eating, but nipping to the side to prevent the child having an accident, that's fine.

Notso · 27/08/2014 20:13

I'd rather change a few weeks more nappies and have them dry in a week than have to whip a potty out all the time.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 27/08/2014 20:21

It's not about using nappies up Hmm

It's about the child having a few accidents and learning from them about what it feels like when they need to go and how long they can hold for.

Some children can manage to learn that while wearing a nappy a great many can't, regardless of how long you leave them in nappies.

WhyBeHappyWhenYouCouldBeNormal · 27/08/2014 20:29

This thread has actually made me feel thoroughly miserable about my 3 yo DD who who we have been consistently training since April and still can not wait more than 5 mins if she needs a wee. She also refuses to use public toilets so we have to go everywhere with the travel potty anyway. And she doesn't like the nursery toilets because they aren't clean enough so she's had 3 wet accidents today. Sigh.

I must be a rubbish parent, or maybe not all children take a week or two to be potty trained (we stayed indoors for 2 whole weeks!)

Notso · 27/08/2014 20:37

I am aware of the potty training process, thanks.

MrsMook · 27/08/2014 20:39

It's simpler having a DS, he's just been taught to go naturally. It's only been necessary once in a urban area, in a car park in the rain. I've not had the need to teach him to squat yet.

I wouldn't fancy carting a potty around. Fortunately we've managed to go straight for toilets which makes life simpler.

He got caught out yesterday. He decided that he'd prefer the toilets of our destination to where we were leaving. We got stuck in traffic and he got caught out in the car. I'm hoping it was a learning experience...

Lucked · 27/08/2014 20:49

We carry a potty but mostly to take to the toilets, he does pee in the potty sitting on the tailgate of the car if we have spent the afternoon at the park. I haven't seem a potty in the street but I have seen child held over gutters and in alleyways. I was held over a gutter in the 70s so this isn't a new phenomenum.

I would try and find a side street lane but if not then I would go ahead and shield them. I can't get worked up over this, it's the street, dogs pee there.

Original poster
Edinburghmummy12 · 27/08/2014 21:14

I think it's ok to use a potty out in the open but only if there's no where to go toilets bush etc etc but my dd is only 19 months so I might think something else when the time comes ....

OP posts:
Original poster
Edinburghmummy12 · 27/08/2014 21:20

I think it's wrong that a young boy had to use a potty on a very busy street where there was other very close places . I would never do that to my daughter is rather her in nappies outside then doing the toilet where all can see .

OP posts:
TeWiSavesTheDay · 27/08/2014 21:22

Don't feel shit whybe!

Honestly of all the 'oh my child learnt in one day!' you read online I've only met one child in rl that was actually like that and he could still only hold on for 5-10mins until he was older - it is totally normal for 2/3/4yos to not be able to hold on very long.

Anyone that says otherwise is talking absolute bollocks.

I hope your DD gets over her other toilet fear soon! We've had issues with the noise of the handryers before which was a pita... Eventually they seemed to grow out of it.

Heyho111 · 27/08/2014 21:22

Where was she going to put the contents !!!!
Years ago when I worked in a bank a woman put her child on a potty in the banking hall. She then asked if I would dispose of the contents. Rightly or wrongly I refused.
Many years on I knew every toilet in town and could get to the nearest one within a minute with a toddler under my arm.

Mim78 · 27/08/2014 21:34

I think not ideal but not terrible either. I would assume they had not plSnned this but we're caught short.

paxtecum · 27/08/2014 21:48

Edinburgh: your DC may one of the many starting school still in nappies if you are embarrassed to have a child on a potty in public.

I used to have a potty in the car and on the rack under the pushchair 30 years ago.

I really don't understand what is terrible about a small child on a potty in a street.

paxtecum · 27/08/2014 21:51

Edinburgh: your DC may one of the many starting school still in nappies if you are embarrassed to have a child on a potty in public.

I used to have a potty in the car and on the rack under the pushchair 30 years ago.

I really don't understand what is terrible about a small child on a potty in a street.Edinburgh: your DC may one of the many starting school still in nappies if you are embarrassed to have a child on a potty in public.

I used to have a potty in the car and on the rack under the pushchair 30 years ago.

I really don't understand what is terrible about a small child on a potty in a street.

MsJupiter · 27/08/2014 22:04

Seeing as we are sharing potty stories:

When I worked in a large London theatre showing a loose musical adaptation of Hamlet featuring anthropomorphised animals, a woman once put her child on the potty in the aisle of the Stalls. When approached by an usher who intended to warn her she was about to be stampeded by elephants, the woman just handed the full potty to the usher and told her to take it away and deal with it.

People are lovely.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 27/08/2014 22:19

The reason you don't see it that often is because the parent is likely to whisk the child into a quiet side street / behind a bush and then be as discrete as possible. But sometimes needs must.

ShadowStar · 27/08/2014 22:32

We're potty training DS1 (3yrs) at the minute.

I encourage him to use the potty before we go out (he doesn't always cooperate with this, and I don't know any way of forcing a child to wee if they don't want to), but we usually take our travel potty out with us.

DS1 is capable of holding wee for hours, but he doesn't always tell us he needs one until he's bursting and unable to hold it any longer. And as PP have pointed out, you can't always be within 5 mins walk of a public toilet.

Using the potty in public isn't ideal, but it's better than the child wetting or soiling themselves. We've always tried to be as discreet as possible when using the travel potty, and the disposable bags used with it means that any wee / poo can be binned afterwards.

Also, the travel potty can be folded out into a booster seat to be put on an adult toilet seat. So taking the travel potty about means that I can sit DS1 on a proper toilet without him fussing about falling down the toilet.

DustyCropHopper · 27/08/2014 22:51

Hollie I would love it to be as easy as telling my 6 year old to go to the toilet before we go and for him to do just that. Unfortunately for me, it isn't that easy. He has never been able to wee/poo on demand and still (4years after potty training) only knows he needs the toilet at a moments notice. I can physically take him to the toilet and tell him to go, he will cry, scream and shout he doesn't need to go. We get 5 mins away from the house and he is squirming and holding himself, desperate for the toilet. He is dyspraxia, not sure if they are connecting but it has been spoken about to his paediatrician, OT etc and no one seems to fussed, so please do not judge. Incidentally, ds1 and dd have amazing abilities at holding themselves, going hours and both have done since early on in potty training, particularly ds1!

chocomochi · 27/08/2014 22:58

Toddler poo and wee on demand?! I don't think even I can do that as an adult.

Toddlers don't always remember to say they need to go, and mine sometimes get so excited by playing or going out that they forget the need to go until the last minute, by which they are usually quite desperate.

Are PPs saying potty training isn't successful until our DCs can hold their wees and poos in for at least some considerable amounts of time (10-30mins)? Should we lock our toilet doors at home and make our DCs wait to use them to "train" their bladders?

DustyCropHopper · 27/08/2014 23:00

mewling maybe where you live most shops have toilets, in my town the only places with toilets are Mcdonalds and Gregg's, both of which clearly state customer toilets. We have 1 set of public toilets, which are truly awful, smelly and generally dirty in the town centre. Even Mothercare did away with their baby change area 4 years ago to make way for a ELC area. Therefore all mine have used potties in public, normally as shielded as possible by me, siblings and the buggy. Many nappies changed inside buggy or pram or on my lap on a bench with dd as she was born after the removal of the baby change.

morethanpotatoprints · 27/08/2014 23:06

We just used to hang them over the nearest grid, just like our mums used to do.
Then people started carrying potties round with them and used these, a bit better than several mums creating a stream of wee running down the street Grin
I think we are too up tight about stuff these days.

maddening · 27/08/2014 23:09

It must be hard Hollie to not be able to see past the end of your nose

CouldntGiveAMonkeysToss · 27/08/2014 23:26

YABU. A public street is fine in my opinion, most of them have dogs shitting on the pavement several times a day, that's worse than a toddler using a potty. When ds1 was potty training he wee'd down a drain once or twice, I figured that was better than him having wet trousers and I always told him to wait until nobody was about (very quiet road).
What I did find a bit odd though was at a playgroup recently two mothers just whipped out potties and sat their toddlers on them telling them to do a wee, neither child was interested in sitting on the potty and neither had they said they needed a wee.
I didn't understand why they didn't take the child and potty to the toilets seeing as there was no urgency and thought it a bit unpleasant to just get it out in middle of all the toys and children.