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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think its wrong to use potty out in the open

159 replies

Edinburghmummy12 · 27/08/2014 12:08

Walked past a women and her child sat down in a potty useing it on a very busy street . What do you all think cos part of mes thinking fair enough but the other parts thinking no

OP posts:
PamBagnallsGotACollage · 27/08/2014 14:14

What is heartening about this thread is that those of us who have children who are taking/ took a little longer to be perfect poopers are not showing signs of feelings bad about not matching up to the advanced potty training skills of others' children.

Figster · 27/08/2014 14:15

One of the first threads I ever read here was about the lady who was aghast at being told her child couldn't use a potty in the frozen food Aisle in Tesco. I still laugh at it now.

If a child has that little control that they need to use a potty in the middle of the street they are not ready to be trained and should be back in nappies IMO

PamBagnallsGotACollage · 27/08/2014 14:16

No hollie, we take potties with us in case out children get a sudden urge to go and we are not near a toilet. I don't think anyone here has said they exclusive use a potty in the street out and about. They are on hand when a toilet isn't.

PamBagnallsGotACollage · 27/08/2014 14:17

figster, what if a toilet is not in sight and a child is, say 5 days into potty training?

Pipbin · 27/08/2014 14:18

I see it all the time Pipbin we went to Warwick Castle a couple of weeks ago and there was a kid on a potty at every single display (the same child).

So all the time means one child in one place then?

I live very close to my town centre and find my self there most days when I am not at work. I also used to work in town centre shops. I have never seen a child on a potty. Being held over a drain a couple of times - but never on a potty 'in the middle of a busy street'.

Mintyy · 27/08/2014 14:18

Figster
There would be an awful lot more 4 year olds still in nappies if everyone shared your pov.

Fixitagaintomorrow · 27/08/2014 14:18

I was in a store once when dd needed a wee, the closest toilet was at home 20 mins away. I had the potty but felt it was inappropriate to whip it out in the middle of an aisle so I put it to a member of staff that they could either let her use the staff toilet or they could go get a map. They had no problem with it and escorted us through to the back. The potty is for emergencies only. I'd rather offend a pearl clutcher than have my child distressed over an accident. It seems Hollie lives in perfect land full of perfect children. How lucky for her.

mumofboyo · 27/08/2014 14:18

In short, yes. I take a travel potty out with me so ds can wee/poo wherever we are - if he's desperate and can't hold on for as long as it might take to get to the nearest loo.
I don't just whip it out willy-nilly - if a toilet is close-by and ds can wait then he can go there; if not then we go somewhere quiet and out of public view. I suspect this is what a lot of others do too, which might explain why you never see them.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 27/08/2014 14:21

There was a similar thread last week but the potty user was in a cafe. That got a universal YANBU. Here sometimes kids are ready to potty train but can't always wait for long enough to find a public toilet (pretty rare in a lot of areas). I don't have a problem with a 2 or 3 year old sitting on a potty outside or weeing into a drain / bit of soft ground in an emergency.

jacks365 · 27/08/2014 14:22

I only take if I know access to toilets is going to be bad ie locally I take potty but if I go into the nearest main town where toilets are plentiful I don't. It has been used very little out and only as a last resort.

BarbarianMum · 27/08/2014 14:23

OK, last try here.

Many people carry a potty for a few weeks when their toddler is first toilet training in case they need an unscheduled wee/poo and toilets aren't quickly available.

Most of these people will, if possible, use nearby toilets if available. But quite often they aren't (esp in residential areas where most of us tend to live).

Most people encourage their children to use the toilet before going out.

Most small children are not 100% reliable, especially in the first few weeks out of nappies.

Then (and this is the good bit) after a few weeks the children get the hang of the whole thing and the potty is no longer necessary (unless you are planning a couple of hours at a park with no toilets).

The upshot of all this is that, very occasionally, one is exposed to the sight of a young child on the potty (or being held out over a gutter).

Some people think this is a problem, some don't, and some have never seen this hence it doesn't exist except on Mumsnet (a bit like 3rd world poverty and Blue Whales I guess).

And now I'm off to the loo. Smile

PamBagnallsGotACollage · 27/08/2014 14:25

I hope you make it in time barbarian!

Well said!

Hakluyt · 27/08/2014 14:36

It's a dams sight easier to pee discreetly in a bush than in a potty!

SaucyJack · 27/08/2014 14:36

No I don't take a potty out with me Hollie- my girls are all either well above or well below toilet training age.

I'm just not pompous enough to think walking past someone's toddler having a quick wee in the park is anything to get my (clean and dry) big girl's knickers in a knot about.

monsterowl · 27/08/2014 14:37

YABU. I haven't done this with my kids, but I have held them up to do wees outside. Although I do try to ensure that the wee doesn't go anywhere where it's going to cause anyone any problems (so, in the gutter if we're parked at the kerb, against a tree or bush in the park, etc.)

Not sure what the other option would be, TBH. A toilet would be preferable, obviously, but some kids (like mine, a few years ago) don't like them and won't 'go' unless it's in their usual, familiar way. So, it's either a potty or a wee/poo-soaked and distressed little child!

There's no way I'd have let my kids soil themselves just to avoid offending the sensibilities of the sort of people who have a problem with bodily functions ...

Notso · 27/08/2014 14:39

No Pipbin that was obviously just one example. Happy to list the numerous other places if you like Smile

I think it stands out to me as odd because in most cases it has been close to places with toilets, clean toilets too. Then the parent has carried the full potty over to grass or a drain and emptied it.

Anyway if nothing else this thread has made me feel a bit better about my crummy home town and it's plethora of toilets.

MewlingQuim · 27/08/2014 14:44

I'm currently toilet training DD. She goes to the toilet before we go out and I always plan toilet stops into whatever we are doing. So if I go to the supermarket I take her to the loo there. Most shops have customer toilets, even if you aren't actually buying something surely no one would object to a desperate toddler going for a wee?

Can't see the need for portable potties myself, seems like another one of those 'must have' baby things that are marketed as essential but are a complete waste of money. Even the home potty didn't get used after the first week, dd has a trainer seat on the loo at home but just perches on public loos.

If I saw someone putting their child on a potty in public I would think it was a bit grim and wonder why they didn't just find a loo, but I don't think I would clutch my pearls because of it Grin

primarynoodle · 27/08/2014 14:48

I know its a pita potty training and sometimes emergencies happen but as a rule of thumb surely if you decide to continue the daily routine while potty training rather than trying to be as housebound as possible for a week (where they use the potty at will) it kind of defeats the object of teaching a child to control their toilet needs rather than just going wherever and getting the potty out when the need arises e.g. in the street

so it depends whether it was an emergency in which case yabu or if the child is basically using the potty as a nappy in which case yanbu

hth Wink

primarynoodle · 27/08/2014 14:49

as mewling says... plan for toilet trips!

jacks365 · 27/08/2014 15:10

as mewling says... plan for toilet trips!

How do you plan toilet trips when the school is approximately a 30 minute walk each way and due to location does not pass any public toilets or cafes or shops big enough to have a toilet. Some of us live in areas where toilets are few and far between.

Mintyy · 27/08/2014 15:27

"Most shops have customer toilets,"

what country do you live in Mewling? That certainly isn't the case in the UK. Some large supermarkets and department stores do, but the vast majority of shops do not.

fishybits · 27/08/2014 15:33

DD was sat upon her potty on the hard shoulder of the A1 in a traffic jam last week. I suppose I should've made her wait the 2 hours it took us to get to the next service station Hmm

Hakluyt · 27/08/2014 15:57

To go back to the OP- what's "wrong" about it?

Armi · 27/08/2014 18:36

I take DD's potette thing everywhere with us. We spend most of our time out walking the dog or playing in parks or exploring the outer reaches of local country estates. Often we are a long walk and a drive from the nearest loo. I use it regularly; it's the best bit of toddler kit I own. Not bothering to take a potty out with you might be ok if you just spend all your time dragging your child round shops or sitting about in Costa with relatively easy access to toilets but I find mine very useful indeed.

Worriedkat · 27/08/2014 18:57

We've used the potette for our 3yo in loads of places. In the London eye queue at the front, and at a gatwick departure gate come to mind. Have had nothing but praise and compliments from joe public (in fact the London eye queue near us all clapped).

might have been a different response if he'd pooed