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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or should you offer a workman a drink?

288 replies

Azquilith · 26/08/2014 21:50

DP fixes appliances for a national firm, and visits up to 8 houses a day. In London he not only often gets let in by the housekeeper at the tradesman entrance, but is seldom offered a drink. In the recent hot weather it makes me fume that he's working in hot utility rooms, shunting appliances about for hours and doesn't even get offered a glass of water. Do you offer someone in your home a drink?

OP posts:
whatever5 · 27/08/2014 20:14

EvansOvalPiesYumYum - I do offer people a drink. Your suggestion that it is impolite/stingy/rude not to offer more seems fairly ridiculous to me though.

FatherReboolaConundrum · 27/08/2014 20:29

I always offer a drink and biscuits because my mum would come back from the dead and kill me if I didn't.

My mum, who always insisted on having a proper afternoon tea, liked to follow an inquiry about whether the builder/decorator/plumber wanted a cup of tea in the afternoon with 'and do you want crumpet?', said with an angelicly innocent expression and eventually, after an awkward silence, producing a pack of crumpets. She did this well into her 70s and the look on the blokes' faces was fantastic.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 27/08/2014 20:29

You said you only offer a drink if someone is in your house for more than an hour Do you have a timer set, I wonder?
Otherwise I would only offer if I was having one myself. So the offer is under certain conditions.
I don't think it is something people should do though And there's the final answer

Note - some people think it polite and kind to offer a drink, at least. Others think it ridiculous.

Ah, well . . .

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 27/08/2014 20:30

FatherReboola Grin Grin Grin

ArgyMargy · 27/08/2014 20:35

I generally offer a hot or cold drink. However the exception is if the workman looks at me and says something like "how about putting the kettle on, love". This man will get nothing at all, no matter how long he stays.

FatherReboolaConundrum · 27/08/2014 20:38

I know Grin. I miss her evil ways!

whatever5 · 27/08/2014 20:39

EvansOvalPiesYumYum Yes, I only offer a drink after they have been at my house for a while because I don't think that people need a drink as soon as they walk in.

I didn't say that it was ridiculous to offer a drink. I said that it is ridiculous to suggest that those who don't offer food are impolite/stingy/rude.

LottieMumofWilfJenkins · 27/08/2014 20:42

I always offer people who come to work at my house a cup of tea. The washing machine repair man used to let me know when he was coming and he used to roadtest my cakes for me! He got to be like a friend by the time he retired and he used to get a kiss and hug when he arrived. He came one day and my friend was there. The following conversation ensued after he opened the washing machine and was fudging around inside!
"Charlotte can i ask you a personal question?"
"If you must Brian!"
"Do you wear underwire bras?"
Cue my friends tea pebbledashing the wall!
He pulled two bits of wire from my bra out of the machine and gave me a VERY stern lecture about netted bags for bras!!! Blush

somewherewest · 27/08/2014 20:43

I always offer, and tell workmen staying longer than an hour or two to help themselves to tea / coffee / whatever in the kitchen. To me it would be incredibly rude not to.

Original poster
Azquilith · 27/08/2014 21:34

To answer an earlier question about breaks, DP works 8-5.30 and gets a half hour break for lunch. Between jobs he is expected to be straight in van driving to other jobs. Though of course he can take a few seconds to swig from a bottle. If he runs out of jobs by 5.30 they send him more.

OP posts:
rainbowinmyroom · 27/08/2014 21:54

Then drink before work, drink en route when possible, drink on break, drink when you are at home in the evenings.

Madamecastafiore · 27/08/2014 21:58

I always do. Offer lunch and do baking for them
If they here for a while.

Cilla Black didn't offer a friend of mine a drink when they did her conservatory and when they asked for glass of water because was boiling day apparently she was a right mardy bitch!!

BBQSteak · 27/08/2014 22:02

plus don't give a drink, they won't need the loo!!!

Grin
halfdrunkcoffee · 27/08/2014 22:05

We had a lot of builders in recently, and I always offered them hot or cold drinks, and ice-cream when it was hot. I think it is only polite to offer.

Our builders must have had bladders of steel, because despite me saying they could use the toilet if they wanted, they never did, and we weren't always in - and they drank a lot of coffee! They were supposed to install a Portaloo, but didn't.

Jessica85 · 27/08/2014 22:05

It's one of the first things I offer anyone who comes into my home a cup of tea. Biscuits is I have them in. It's just polite.

littlewhitebag · 27/08/2014 22:06

Baking? Why would you bake for tradesmen? They are being PAID to do a job. Why would you spend time and money baking for them?

charleybarley · 27/08/2014 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Delphiniumsblue · 27/08/2014 22:13

Why does being paid for a job mean that you can't be polite and hospitable? Confused

littlewhitebag · 27/08/2014 22:15

I am always polite and hospitable but if a guy rocks up to repair my washing machine i don't think i would have been baking before they arrived!

DontstepontheMomeRaths · 27/08/2014 22:20

Always offer a drink and unfortunately I tend to chat to them as they work, I'm a chatterbox Grin

I like baking and can and do offer cake too. I probably annoy them I reckon but they're too polite to say...

rainbowinmyroom · 27/08/2014 22:23

Why does being polite and hospitable mean you have to offer food and drink? What if you aren't around, working at home, busy, skint? It's not enough to speak nicely, let them get on, pay promptly.

lavenderhoney · 27/08/2014 22:23

I offer tea, and a chat. I've had a lot of local trade people in recently and some have been remarkably funny, and full of amusing tales to tell over a cup of tea.

I also offered tea to a delivery driver who was surprised and pleased - he'd driven 200 miles and apparently I was the first person since he'd worked there who was kind and appreciated his delivery. I have to say as he delivered properly- none of this kerbside delivery! - he deserved it.

My dm always offered hospitality like this. She had a special mug or two for the purpose. She used a china tea service always, but had mugs for men:)

MamaPain · 27/08/2014 22:29

There's a lot of "they are paid/employed" and business transaction type comments.

Can I just say as someone who runs their (partly) own business, and is therefore an employer as well as someone who has suppliers, I provide those people with similar treatment. I give them drinks, or the facilities and materials to make drinks, I provide biscuits, I provide them with a nice work environment and toilet facilities, we have birthday parties and celebrations and employee benefits. The idea that because you paying them to provide a service and as a result employing them, you need to complete the transaction with no frills or niceties is completely alien to me and not normal or good business practice.

littlewhitebag · 27/08/2014 22:37

mamapain If someone comes into my workplace then offer refreshments. But it is quite different having someone come into my home. I need the work done, but i hate having people in my personal space and want them in and out quickly. I will offer refreshments if i need to but someone who will be in for 30/60 minutes, i feel no obligation to offer them anything. i just want the job done.

MamaPain · 27/08/2014 22:42

Little, thats a completely different point though. If you don't want or enjoy people in your personal space, fine, it's you prerogative as to how you treat them and how you deal with your discomfort.

However, what I am disputing is the idea that solely because these are business transactions or involve someone being paid for a service there can't be any niceties or extras. That offering a refreshment is not compatible with business arrangements, which is clearly ludicrous and false and has nothing to do with the location of the event or your enjoyment of them being in your personal space.