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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or should you offer a workman a drink?

288 replies

Azquilith · 26/08/2014 21:50

DP fixes appliances for a national firm, and visits up to 8 houses a day. In London he not only often gets let in by the housekeeper at the tradesman entrance, but is seldom offered a drink. In the recent hot weather it makes me fume that he's working in hot utility rooms, shunting appliances about for hours and doesn't even get offered a glass of water. Do you offer someone in your home a drink?

OP posts:
Original poster
Azquilith · 27/08/2014 22:43

Speak nicely yes. Pay promptly yes. And DP will of course drink in van etc on way to jobs, but yesterday, for example, spent 3.5 hours with one washing machine in a small, utility room with the tumble dryer on. I find it bizarre that the customer wouldn't stick their head round the door and ask if he wanted a drink. He is of course a grown up and can ask, but I think it's a bit off. He, incidentally, is paid by the company and this doesn't receive the payment directly.

OP posts:
Delphiniumsblue · 27/08/2014 22:46

Do you not think that they will do it better if you treat them nicely? It is human nature. I always do what I am supposed to but I will go the extra mile for the polite and friendly who treat me as a person- I won't put myself out for the ones who don't bother to be polite.

morethanpotatoprints · 27/08/2014 22:47

Ah, bless him OP.
You need to move up here, the kettles always on and quite often a bacon butty to go with the brew.
We have had lots of trades people and deliveries whilst doing various houses up and I always do this. It is common courtesy, surely.

Delphiniumsblue · 27/08/2014 22:51

I think you can tell so much from it. If someone is the type of personality who won't offer a drink to a workman then I can be sure I wouldn't want them as a friend.

rainbowinmyroom · 27/08/2014 22:59

I do not believe it is ridiculous to offer extras like food and drink when someone is providing a service in someone's home, but I don't think it is impolite or horrid if you do not, either. It seems to be a very British expectation.

rainbowinmyroom · 27/08/2014 23:01

I'm sure the world is lamenting that, Delphinium.

TattyDevine · 27/08/2014 23:05

Of course you don't need to offer food, or water, generally they should bring cold drinks, but its not practical to bring mugs, milk, teabags and a kettle, because even then they'd need your electricity, so its nice to offer them hot drinks at a certain time of day (soon after arrival in the morning, then perhaps mid morning or around lunch time and mid arvo if they are still there). Failing this you could show them the kettle, fridge, and leave some teabags and mugs out then they can help themselves. Of course they will not die without.

I have a funny painter decorator guy who is ex-army and he does everything to a timetable. Turns up at 8am on the dot, goes to his van at exactly 10:30am and eats precisely 2 pieces of fruit etc. He's funny.

I made a bad faux pas with him though because I found out retrospectively on the day he found out his partner was pregnant we were talking about kids/family life and I muttered "arghrrr just don't do it!" . He'd knocked on the door at precisely 8am according to his army-timetable-body-clock and I'd emerged half asleep and not dressed to let him in, and this conversation happened later. I thought he must think me such a slob but the next job on he'd had the baby and she had another on the way and he admitted he'd "forgotten what sleep is" so he hopefully didn't judge me too much for my 8am lack of action, not that I really care but still.

starlight1234 · 27/08/2014 23:06

A cuppa yes food no.

TattyDevine · 27/08/2014 23:07

When I say not dressed, I believe I may have been wearing pj's.

(he's not the extra-marital offerer by the way)

MamaPain · 27/08/2014 23:10

Nothing wrong with a British expectation. I am British so not that surprising...

Although my immigrant parents and foreign family would be absolutely horrified at not feeding someone who comes to your house an entire meal, regardless of them being guest, friend, family or worker.

rainbowinmyroom · 27/08/2014 23:14

And other people wouldn't think to do that, mama, or even be aware there is that expectation. That does not make them rude, horrible people.

starfishmummy · 27/08/2014 23:19

The last workman we had here refused all offers of hot drinks and brought his own bottle of some sort of squaash with him - he was here several days and not making him drinks didnt seem right somehow.

MamaPain · 27/08/2014 23:20

Which, rainbow, is presumably why I haven't said they would be rude or horrible.

That may be my personal opinion of them but it's certainly not something I've said or implied, so I don't see why you think it's necessary to reiterate that point to me.

Regardless of how disdainfully you point out that something might be British specific, I don't see anything wrong with a British expectation, all countries have different cultural practices which people are either naturally aware of by being British or often learn if they're immigrants.

rainbowinmyroom · 27/08/2014 23:24

Where is there any disdain? I stated that it appears to be a British expectation and that some may be entirely unaware of it.

Delphiniumsblue · 28/08/2014 06:55

I am sure they are not lamenting rainbow, but it is a good rule of thumb that serves me well. There is a good quote, seen quite a lot, that says you can tell a nice person by how they treat the waiter. I am sure you can just insert 'workman'. If they just treat them as a machine doing a job and not a person who may want a drink- they are not a nice person.

Delphiniumsblue · 28/08/2014 06:57

What is wrong with a British expectation in Britain? Confused

BringMeTea · 28/08/2014 08:36

Yes. And biscuits. Very ill-mannered to not offer refreshments.

whatever5 · 28/08/2014 08:37

I don't think that it is a British expectation to provide a food. I'm sure that the majority of people only provide tea/coffee for workman who are going to be at their house for a while.

MamaPain- you may give those who work for you food/drink but that is (extremely?) unusual unless you run a restaurant or something similar.

WhoeverYouWantMeToBe · 28/08/2014 08:45

I always offer a drink but never food - except maybe biscuits, especially if it was a lengthy job.

TattyDevine · 28/08/2014 10:11

Sometimes they reject food. There was a youngish tree surgeon who wasn't 'alf precious about his figure.

PeachyParisian · 28/08/2014 11:06

There's no reason 'workmen' can't bring water bottles/thermos with them to work like big boys. Although I very much agree it's a question of manners to offer someone a drink when they are in your home.

I think a lot of people still feel quite awkward when theres someone in to do some work and making them a drink gives you something to do aside from hovering strangely. could just be me

Delphiniumsblue · 28/08/2014 13:23

Of course they can bring it, but it is much nicer to be offered fresh tea out of a china mug than a plastic thermos cup and water that has been keeping hot for hours.

nooka · 28/08/2014 17:42

Almost all of the places that I have worked at have provided tea and coffee supplies for employees, and most offices I visit offer me a drink (tea, coffee, water). Food is another matter, but is it really outside of the norm now to have coffee on the go, milk in the fridge and a box of teabags in the cupboard for empoyees/visitors?

BlueBrightBlue · 28/08/2014 20:54

" Treat others as you would have them do to you " is my motto.
I used to deliver to a firm in Shrewsbury ( reputed to be the friendliest place in the UK)
Whilst my load was being tipped, I would be called into reception and presented with a china cup of tea, foil wrapped biscuits and a tiny envelope containing 3 pound coins. I was almost moved to rears, such lovely folk.

Marmiteandjamislush · 28/08/2014 21:12

He should come and work for my darling parents, he'd get 3 meals p/d endless tea, coffee, cake, sweeties shandy on a hot day and birthday and Christmas presents for the kids and 12 eggs to take home. No, I'm not being sarky either, they have renovated a large dilapidated house, which needs recurring maintenance and live by the motto: treat people well and they will do a good job and come back when you need them.